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FEATURED CHRISTMAS SPECIALS:
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire
Batman: Christmas with The Joker
A Garfield Christmas Special
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
A Chipmunks Christmas
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol
Spongebob Squarepants in “Christmas Who?”
Community’s “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”
Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas (soundtrack)
The Small One
George and the Star
Twas The Night Before Christmas
A Claymation Christmas
South Park
Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town
John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together
The Christmas Toy
Fraggle Rock’s “The Bells of Fraggle Rock” 

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A ROCKY & BULLWINKLE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

2010′s Dec. 19 Christmas Special
COMMUNITY “ABED’S UNCONTROLLABLE CHRISTMAS”

2009′s Dec. 19 Christmas Special
HE-MAN AND SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 

]]> http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/19/podcast-cartoon-christmas-music/feed/ 3 http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/10/the-first-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer/ http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/10/the-first-rudolph-the-red-nosed-reindeer/#comments Sun, 11 Dec 2011 07:39:29 +0000 cantista http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/?p=4804

Before the stop motion special became a Holiday tradition, Rudolph was brought to theaters by the man who brought Popeye and Betty Boop to life…

The above is a 1947 theatrical short, and it marks Rudolph’s first animated appearance and one of the last cartoons Max Fleischer ever produced. Based off of the book, it was made one year before Johnny Marks had written the famous song (although it was edited in later on.) You can read more about Rudolph’s history in full blown post we did for the 1964 Rankin/Bass classic.

Similar to what we did last year with the Top 25 Cartoon Christmas Trees, A Cartoon Christmas is letting you (AND ME!) skip the usual 1000+ words of grammatically defiant babble on this day of days, while still giving you the opportunity to look at some gorgeous animated imagery.

REAL SANTAS

1. “Classic Santa” from A Disney Christmas Gift

I forget who issued me the challenge, but it was this: Can you find 50 different pictures from cartoon Santas? Well, two years + one post a day, every day in December until Christmas = 50 posts… yeah, sounds easy enough.

2. “Party Santa” from The Snowman (buy it here)

But wait?! There ain’t no Santy Claws in Mickey’s Christmas Carol or A Charlie Brown Christmas! And a few days on the animated advent calendar over there on left are, debatebly, cop out entries… You know, I could do it if I can do cartoon approximations of Saint Nick (i.e. cartoons characters posing as Santa) in addition to the Real McDeal! And that’s how we’re going to break these down: Real and Fake Santas.

3. “Slow Santa” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

Both are just as fun to look at anyway, right? Oh, and keep an eye out for a third SUPER SECRET category if I can’t meet the numeric criteria.

4. “Magician Santa” from Frosty the Snowman (buy it here)

Please enjoy our last post on the 2010’s Animated Advent Calendar, and feel free to click on image/link to read more on about the special showcase.

5. “Stranded Santa” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

And if you feel like buying the DVD, please do it through the Amazon link provided. Doing so costs you nothing, but kicks a small percentage back to us, which helps keep the site up. Or at least we hope it will someday!

6. “Useless Santa” from The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann

7. “Second Banana Santa” from A Chipmunks Christmas (buy it here)

8. “Sickly Santa” from Christmas Comes to PacLand

9. “Recipient Santa” from A Johnny Bravo Christmas (buy it here)

10. “Shouldn’t Count Santa” from Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (buy it here)

11. “Skinny Santa” from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (buy it here)

12. “Donkey-Worshiping Santa” from Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey (buy it here)

13. “Massive Santa” from Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (buy it here)

14. “Writer Santa” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

15. “Stupid Santa” from Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (buy it here)

16. “Smokin’ Claus” from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (buy it here)

17. “Blink and you’ll miss ‘em Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

18. “Captive Santa” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

19. “Young Ginger Santa” from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (buy it here)

20. “Interstellar Santa” from George and the Christmas Star (buy it here)

21. “Sleepy Santa” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

22. “Stinky Santa” from Ren & Stimpy: Stimpy’s First Fart (buy it here)

FAKE SANTAS

23. “Robotnik Claus” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

24. “Opus Claus” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

25. “Kermit Claus” (no longer) from The Christmas Toy (buy it here)

26. “Funky Claus” from TaleSpin: A Molly Jolly Christmas (buy it here)

27. “Robot Holocaust Claus” from Batman: Christmas with The Joker (buy it here)

28. “Snoopy Claus” from It’s ChristmasTime Again, Charlie Brown (buy it here)

29. “Donald Claus” from Toy Tinkers (buy it here)

30. “Racist Claus” from Mickey’s Good Deed (buy it here)

31. “Claus of Doom” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

32. “Samson Claus” from A Very Venture Christmas (buy it here)

33. “Squidward Claus” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

34. “Taz Clauz” from Bugs Bunny Looney Christmas Tales (buy it here)

35. “Dale Claus” from Pluto’s Christmas Tree (buy it here)

36. “Goofy Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

37. “An Extremely Goofy Santa” Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

38. “Prince Adam Claus” from He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (buy it here)

39. “BBB Claus” from A Fat Albert Christmas (buy it here)

40. “Sad, Drunk Claus” from Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (buy it here)

41. “Extinct Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

42. “Dried Fruit Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

43. ” Doc Claus” from A Muppet Family Christmas

44. “Redemption Claus” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (buy it here)

YET TO BE COVERED SANTAS

45. “Pink Santa” from A Pink Christmas (buy it here)

46. “Worst 2010 Movie Star Santa” from Yogi’s First Christmas (buy it here)

47. “Nothing to Apologize for Santa” from Pee-Wee Herman’s Christmas Special (buy it here)

48. “Warner Santa” from Anamaniacs’ ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

49. “Ruckus Claus” from A Huey Freeman Christmas (buy it here)

50. “Robot Santa” from Futurama’s Xmas Story (buy it here)

Seriously, thanks to everyone for reading this stuff. Really means a lot. (Now go have a great Christmas!)

You’ve may’ve seen Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer over a billion times, but unless you’re over the age of 45, you’ve NEVER seen this…

When Hermey’s boss isn’t dressing down elves, he also hocks vacuums

One thing that sucks about being a completist dork is that you’ll never truly be able to see older Christmas specials exactly as they originally aired. Back before I was born, it wasn’t uncommon to see the show’s stars interacting directly with their sponsor’s products during commercial breaks. I’m sure you’ve all seen The Flintstones hocking Winston cigarettes, right?

I understand that these older sponsorships no longer have much of a place on today’s TV airwaves, but I still think nerds like me should certainly have the right to see them. And while I bitched more about the lost footage of the Peanuts interacting with Coca-Cola in my write up on A Charlie Brown Christmas, this is arguably cooler (And older by one year!)

This is ridiculously amazing find. I love the internet!

Common Knowledge: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was largely underwritten by General Electric back in 1964, and while the stellar DVD and Blu-Ray releases do contain almost all the footage, and additional footage from the special, they’ve been sorely lacking this heaving dollop of awesome sauce you see above!

This character is known only as “Tall Elf” in the special

You may’ve heard that Rudolph premiered under The General Electric Fantasy Hour, but I personally had just assumed it originally aired with a couple of “Brought to you by” bumpers and that would be it. Not so!

Can’t believe print ads have been archived better than actual footage that undoubtedly involved many more people and was much more expensive to produce

Not only was the sponsored footage produced by Rankin/Bass themselves, it stars the characters from the special, voiced by the same actors, singing the praises of sensational new products of the day!

Too cool for conventional ovens

Say what you will about the ethicality of classic characters used to pitch housewares, you can’t ignore the fact that the models used are undoubtedly heirlooms and this newly discovered footage amounts to almost ten minutes of footage, the world has never seen before!

This company makes nuclear power plants now?!

Seriously, how cool is this?! I especially love the whimsical nature of the products showcased here, as they’re so adorable in their attempts at being futuristic, you’d probably think they were parodies. That is, if these weren’t very, very real.

Batshit nuts about all things General Electric!

I know more footage like this has to exist for other specials, so I encourage anyone working in television archives or old enough to have been involved in these productions to hop the hell on YouTube right quick! I can give you a 80% guarantee you won’t be sued.

Lay your sacrifice at the feet of the GE sappling!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us and support the Site!)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer appears on an ultra affordable standalone DVD, but with no notable bonus features to speak of, I’d have to recommend The Original Christmas Classics Boxed set. The price is a steal, plus it contains six more classic Christmas specials, including other Rankin/Bass stop motion classics like The Little Drummer Boy and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. And I can’t recommend the Holiday Figurine set enough. Featuring almost all of Rudolph‘s primary cast, I propose that this become every atheist’s annual nativity scene. High-def owners will also want to check out the new Rudolph Blu-ray, which in spite of what you might think, truly astounds!

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
GEORGE AND THE CHRISTMAS STAR

2009′s Dec. 22th Christmas Special
MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: Dec 8, 1974

Skepticism nearly derails the holidays, but eventually guilt and blind faith save the day for humans and mice alike…

BACKSTORY:

The Rankin/Bass production company owns approximately 17% of your Christmas memories with the one-two punch of classics Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. And since those were so successful, they just kept on making new ones, each with speaking parts of notable stars of the time, such as Mickey Roonie Angela Lansbury, and Buddy Hackett. They were the Dreamworks Animation of their time, in that they kept making celebrity-fueled works that were small variations on the same story.

By 1974, Rankin/Bass was pretty into the swing of things, and for that year’s X-Mas cartoon jubilee, the team looked to one of the earliest works of popular American prose. The poem is titled “A Visit From St. Nicholas” no matter how much popular perception thinks it’s “‘Twas the night before Christmas,” and it basically solidified our perceptions of who Santa was. It gave a detailed description of what we all know about Santa now, his sleigh flying in on eight reindeer that were named in the same poem; it describes how one lucky guy witnessed the magical man pop into his home, friendly as could be, to give toys out of his sack to everyone.

Don’t be afraid, it’s not offensive

Heck, “A Visit from St. Nicholas” could even be called the first American Christmas special even if it wasn’t animated. Every Santa-based Christmas cartoon you’ve seen owes so much to that poem and what it started that it seems only fitting to make a special based around it. But first we’re going to need a family of talking mice and a Broadway actor.

BREAKDOWN:

It all starts simple enough. We pull in on an American, pre-Civil war home on a snowy night. We hear Joel Grey, who’s most famous as the host in the Oscar-winning Cabaret and for fathering Jennifer Grey of Dirty Dancing fame (and here you thought he was gay), recite the beginning of the poem. Here’s what kids look like dreaming of sugar plums:

Why show us their dream sugar plums? It’s not like this is a cartoon or anything

And Ma in her kerchief while the father reads a multi-page bound book used that holds a 56 verse poem.

So in their world the poem exists and yet it’s about to happen to them too? Plus, the book has the wrong title

But that simple premise is quickly thrown out the window to introduce some cute mice into the picture. Yup, this human family lives with a matching mouse family that owns small furniture and everything.

They even have tiny mice editions of the same book

It’s stupid to question the reality of something that climaxes with the eventual appearance of Santa Claus, but this is just silly. This special is only 25 minutes long and you immediately clutter it with two separate families and plotlines? So anyway, things are dire on X-Mas Eve for the mice and the humans. In a slightly creepy way, Father Mouse calls the human father “the boss,” which conjures a kind of agreed upon slave/master situation in this society.

Just because you dress like your oppressor doesn’t make you guys friends, Father Mouse

By the way, what kind of name is that, Father Mouse? Anyway, the troubles began two months earlier, when some mail got delivered to the families in the fictional town of Junctionville.

Does everyone in this world walk around with their mouse doppelganger? So many questions about this strange earth

Every person in town gets their letters to Santa returned to them, and I mean every person, kids and parents alike, sent Santa their usual letter asking for stuff and now it had been returned to them unopened. Everyone in Junctionville is sad and confused by this seemingly unwarranted passive-aggressive action by Claus, but Father Mouse is gonna get to the bottom of it by calling up the North Pole.

Nobody writes jokes for the person-to-person phone operator anymore

Seriously? Mice not only have a complex, clothes wearing society, but they have their own phone companies that in the mid-1800s can call the North Pole? The Christmas mouse on the other end explains to Father Mouse that Santa is pretty mad at the town because of a letter published in their newspaper that called into doubt his very existence. So the giving spirit of Christmas turns on an entire town of believers because of one doubting letter? This Santa is pretty Old Testament.

Confused protesters attack the government because of superstitions

Meanwhile in the human world, the lazy bureaucrats that run the town want to fix things but don’t want to put any work into doing so (what a comment on our society!). Eventually Father Human, or Mr. Trundle as he’s sometimes called, shows up and explains that he’s got a plan to make Santa love them again: making the town clock sing a song praising Santa.

“And the imprisoned singing children would go inside…”

That quick fix is okayed and tons of taxpayer dollars are thrown away on a whim to impress St. Nick. At the same time the mouse family pours over their collection of old, human-sized newspapers to find the offending letter.

And where and how do they store all those newspapers?

The letter in question, signed “all of us,” calls out Santa as a dangerous myth and the reindeer as phony. After thinking it over, the family realizes that the use of long words in the letter could only lead to one person, apparently the only individual in town that reads… the mouse family’s own son, Albert. The family confronts Albert, accusing him of hurting Santa’s widdle feelings, and Albert is proud to have done so and stands by his words still.

Nerds before the internet

I’m all for not believing in stuff, and Atheism is probably the easiest belief system there is. But if I wrote a letter saying God is a superstition and then everyone I knew got stamped letters back from God saying I was a dick, I think my doubts would waver a tad. Regardless, Albert still believes Santa is a lie, perhaps the root of some global conspiracy, and is then chewed out in song form for thinking too much and believing too little. It’s one of the least Christmas-y songs ever to be in a Christmas special, which is probably why it’s usual cut for time in most TV airing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

But the guilt trip isn’t over. Father Mouse takes Albert all over town Ghost of Christmas Present-style to show him all the pain his lack of belief caused. Actual line: “Here’s our first example of how you ruined everyone’s Christmas with your opinions.” Jeez Rankin/Bass, did your kids just come home from their first semester of college or something?

“See Albert, just do what we tell ya and the orphans will stop crying”

Albert still persists that grown-ups don’t believe in Santa, so Father Mouse proves him wrong by showing Al the clock Mr. Trundle is making for Santa. But instead of shutting the unbeliever up, he’s instead fascinated by how the complex machine works. A little too fascinated…

Ain’t no party like a clock starting party!

There’s a big party to celebrate the clock’s completion, but once Mr. Trundle cuts the ribbon that somehow starts the clock, the whole thing falls apart to the shock and dismay of everyone. The mayor probably has the best reaction:

“ZOUNDS!”

The public embarrassment ruins Mr. Trundle. People don’t want his clocks anymore and he’s forbidden from fixing the broken town clock. Pretty soon his whole family is starving to death, as are the mice that depend on their crumbs.

Mice have society with phones, clothes, corrective lenses, and tiny books but still subsist off of garbage dropped on the floor?

The whole family is ready to give up and die on Christmas Eve, until Joel Grey bursts into the most memorable part of the whole special, the song Even a Miracle Needs a Hand. Taking a message similar to the recent Princess and the Frog, he sings about how you can wish and hope, but you’ve gotta work your ass off to get something great  done.

Here’s the song in case you’ve never heard it

It’s a really swell song and is the best part of the whole thing. Also since you just watched the clip, it’s worth noting that many of these old specials were animated by some Japanese artists who went on to become part of Studio Ghibli, makers of Totoro and many other esteemed anime classics. And while the animation is pretty sub-par most of the time, you occasionally see flashes of what they could really do:

Here’s the most Ghibli-esque scene in the cartoon

But not so much, this:

LOLGobbleLOL

Of course the real point of the song is to poor just a little bit more guilt on the too-smart-for-his-own-good Albert. Him seeing the Trundles happy in the face of adversity, he admits to his dad through tears that he wanted to see how the clock worked and in doing so broke it, as his damned inquisitiveness nearly killed his entire family. He says he’s sorry but that’s not good enough for Father Mouse, so Al decides he’s going to fix it all by himself in the matter of hours left before Christmas. His dad just lets him walk off on his own into this dark, snowy night to work with machinery that’d be too big one for one man, let alone a child mouse. I’m just saying he’s a great dad is all.

Hahaha, he almost died!

As Albert runs off, Father Mouse goes to apologize on behalf of his son. This was the part that just breaks the whole special for me. They had set up that while they knew of each other’s existence the mouse and human world’s were pretty separate. Now all of a sudden they can talk to one another with no explanation. “Oh did we forget to mention that mice talk and converse often with humans? Oh well, no time to explain now.”

“Thanks talking mouse, your words are of great comfort. Also, stop chewing holes in my walls please.”

That brings us back to before, as it is still the night before Christmas, but only for a few minutes longer. Then the last comes and goes, breaking the timed honored rule of a countdown ending at the last second. But a couple seconds later Albert gets the clock going and the song praising Santa strokes his ego enough to have his pull a u-turn in his sleigh and head back.

Not the usual R&B Santa. No mustache!

Then comes what the audience had long been waiting for as Joel Grey reads the rest of the poem in it’s entirety, including  “the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave the luster of midday to the objects below.” Once that starts the ending is pretty rote, as families both mouse and human watch Santa get down to business.

A short, filthy stranger gets to work

It’s off-putting at first, but I give R/B credit for making this Santa more of an enigma. Because he has so few lines he isn’t their normal talkative Santa who explains plot points while hugging lost children and elves. He’s just a weird, diminutive creature that people can only watch in amazement. He speaks with actions, whether winking:

Santsual harrassment

Smoking:

Somebody think of the children!

And laying a finger aside of his nose, a seemingly random act that continues to confuse children to this day:

Totally different from “thumbing your nose” at something

That dealt with, Santa rides off, and doesn’t even apologize for doubting Junctionville’s heart.

Ho x3

Meanwhile Albert’s learns that maybe all the answers aren’t in books and we can assume Mr. Trundle’s business gets back on track, but honestly you’ll never know, because the cartoon ends immediately after the last line of the poem.

Wait, has anybody seen my pocket watch?

No real references to religion, save for a line about pleasing your maker in the Miracles song. Still it gets slight credit for spending so long attempting to make non-believers feel bad.

Santa is pretty central to the plot here, even if you don’t see him till the end. And I give R/B credit for not recycling an old design. Still, Santa acts like a real jerk in the beginning then just shows up smiling and giving just seconds later. Can you say manic-depressive?

This one felt like it was an hour long special cut to 25 minutes. There’s barely any time to build any spirit, and the amount of time spent making a kid feel bad for having opinions seems counter to all the warm feelings Christmas is supposed to bring. Still, it’s hard to argue with an unabridged reciting of one of the most defining works of Christmas cheer doesn’t bring some spirit to the whole thing, so I’ll just say it breaks even.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Although ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas never gets top billing, it appears as a bonus on numerous Rankin/Bass DVDs, the cheapest being bundled with Frosty’s Winter Wonderland. However, you’ll get a bigger bang for your Christmas buck purchasing it in the Classic Christmas Favorites set, as it comes also comes with How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey and a slew of others making for a total of 10 specials! These Rankin/Bass collections are tricky since they come in and out of print every holiday, but the aforementioned set is a ridiculously good value and I feel this is the last Christmas it’ll be available. Having said that, even though it doesn’t contain ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, The Original Christmas Classics DVD box set packs in a bunch of different Rankin/Bass favorites the other sets don’t such as Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and Frosty the Snowman.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A SPONGEBOB CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

2009′s Dec. 18th Christmas Special
REN & STIMPY: STIMPY’S FIRST FART

NESTOR, THE LONG-EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY
Original Air Date: December 3, 1977

Then one day pre-Christmas, Yahweh came to say / “Nestor with your ears so long, won’t you guide my unborn son along!”

BACKSTORY:

In the early 1960s, Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass formed a company originally known as Videocraft International. The Toronto-based studio began by focusing on a process then called “Animagic,” a stop-motion procedure usually farmed overseas to largely uncredited Japanese animators (who would later make a mass exodus to Studio Ghibli, of Spirited Away and Ponyo fame).

The Videocraft logo as it appears in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and the Rankin/Bass logo that preceded Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

Videocraft’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was an enormous smash right out of the gate, and the company followed suit with several other long-running Christmas specials including Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and Frosty the Snowman.

You know these guys

While the studio dabbled in specials – and even feature films – with non-Christmas themes, it became fairly clear by the mid-’70s that Holiday specials were going to be its bread and butter. So what’s a studio to do when it runs out of Christmas tunes and legends to turn into animated specials? Well, after spinning off Rudolph and Frosty sequels, they made up a tale of their own.

BREAKDOWN:
Man, I loved this special back in the day, but Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey is fucking frightening! I mean, I’m pretty hard-pressed to come down on Rankin-Bass for almost any reason…but Jesus Christ, you guys?!

Shots in this sequence were reused from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

I’m well aware the duo probably didn’t have all that many Christmas jingles to retrofit into an “X the Xmas Y” formula, but did they really have to concoct a tale so unrelentingly cruel and wrought with tragedy that it’s… well, actually pretty befitting of its biblical setting, come to think of it.

Sty, Sweet Sty

Seriously, all the crap Disney takes for its past comedic depictions of animal cruelty and murdering the parents of its heroes in plain sight can’t hold a Menorah candle to the bloodcurdling heartbreak Nestor has in store in just twenty-four minutes.

AHAHAHAHAH, FREAK!

I mention this not as a criticism, but as almost a warning to others who care to watch it.  I was completely convinced that I was settling in for nothing more than a lighthearted Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer rip-off.

“Yeah, I’m standin’ on your ear. Do somethin’ about it!”

Nestor starts off with yet another celebrity introducing our titular hero in song.

Roger Miller, serenading you into depression

Roger Miller, the singer songwriter behind twangy country hits like “King of the Road,” voices Speiltoe, and he does a helluva a good job convincing the audience they’re not about to see things that will be burned into whatever portion of your brain gets referenced every time your body decides it’s time for a nightmare.

Livin’ like an ass ain’t easy

Nestor is mocked mercilessly for his obvious condition, but since we’ve all been conditioned to anticipate that his deformity will save the day a mere twenty minutes from now, you’ll probably assume you can roll with his punches.

Ker-THUD

Thing is, the woodland creatures’ jabs are far more unrelenting than those in Rudolph. Plus, without a Clarice or Hermey to alleviate Nestor’s pain, his torment is absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

Dicks

And not just because you’ll see the first of many shots of Nestor crying his eyes out.

Nestor is trying to break your heart

The song, “Don’t Laugh and Make Somebody Cry,” digs deep into how much it sucks to be Nestor, and it’s accompanied with elongated montages of animals laughing loudly and being unbelievably cruel to the poor jackass.

Humans aren’t any nicer

His mother is his only sanctuary. Even Olaf the stable-hand refuses to feed Nestor on account of his ear-induced uselessness, and the poor kid would go hungry if it weren’t for his mammy.

A rare smile

Yet even after all that heartbreak and peer rejection, what depressed me even more was that the special makes a point of saying that the only time anybody was nice to Nestor was around the Winter Solstice.

As if his life before this moment never even happened

This hit me in a strange way, as it reminded me of instances in grade school where I can recall everyone being nice to a kid around Christmas or his birthday, only to treat him like a shit-based swastika the other 364 days of the year. It brought back this strange sense of pain and pity at the idea that a rotten lot in life has nothing to do with your behavior, just…. Depressing!

Roman Holiday

And in come the Romans! Ever the harbingers of bad news in biblical times, a soldier arrives to buy livestock for the Emperor’s service. Of course he ends up simply stealing them, but not before interrupting Nestor’s single day of sanctity by once again pointing out that his ears are, in fact, larger than regular-sized ears.

Abuse!

This is the last straw for Olaf, familiarly voiced by Paul Frees, who chucks Nestor out on his, erm, ass to die in the snow.

Perk to having long ears #1

Fortunately, his mother comes to his rescue, offering calm and warmth throughout that furiously cold winter night.

Ahhhh, everything’s cool now, right?

“As savagery often does, it left beauty in its wake,” says Speiltoe cheerfully, as if we’re about to catch up with Nestor and his mother cooking three-egg omelets over a cracklin’ morning fire…

Nope

Yeah…your Mom’s dead, dude.

RIP MOM

And it’s pretty much your fault. I don’t know why, but I didn’t remember this. Bear in mind I’m the closest thing to a “Professional Christmas Special Commentator” the internet’s got going… But I was so goddamned gutwrenchingly depressed by Nestor at this point, I damn near turned it off. An industry first!

Goddammit… SAD!

Nestor wanders the forest looking for a reason to live, only to find snow and more snow and ears that continue to trip him up every third step. Fortuntely, an angelic creature appears out of the blue to give him a mission.

GAH!

Did you know that whereas angels guide humans, cherubs guide animals? Me neither! But truly I appreciate the heavenly Tilly for finally making the distinction. And in another Christmas miracle, Tilly also ties back into yesterday’s special, as she’s voiced by Brenda Vaccaro, the voice behind Johnny Bravo’s mom!

Greener pastures

She playfully tugs Nestor’s ears as they sing-songedly make their way to Bethlehem, where some sort of surprise awaits him. This scene brought me right back into whimsy, as it’s a warm – and snowless – montage of Nestor acting happily for the first time since the special began.

Bears are jerks too

Sorry, I just gotta show you some more, because Lord knows I need the pick-me-up at this point in the special.

Astounding stop-motion work here

Big Ear perk #2!

Once in Bethlehem, Tilly books it back to heaven and Nestor wanders aimlessly, once again subjected to the mockery of his peers. Somehow he ends up on the auction block, where he continues to be undesired thanks to his unsightly ears.

You might recognize the camels from The Little Drummer Boy

That is until one day a poor carpenter shows up looking for something his pregnant wife can ride on – Shhhhh, don’t ruin it for everybody yet!

“Do you accept prayer?”

Some broke ass-couple going under the names of Joseph and Mary need a lift, and they’re not picky about the paint job.

Ridin’ out

Unfortunately, the trio gets caught in a sandstorm, and the narrator tells us that Nestor considers dumping the fat lady and heading into shelter. But then: a guiding light…

Screw the humans

“SIMBA…”

Both Tilly and Nestor’s mother appear to him, telling him to listen. Galdurnnit, big ears probably mean big listentin’!

I suppose you could call it a manger

Nestor guides the couple through the storm and into the city. With all the hotels full, he figures a stable is as good a place as any – why, they’ll be as happy and warm as he used to be, nestled next to his mother in the hay,

Home at last!

Nestor gets them where they need to go, but doesn’t even stick around. Three wise looking men show up, but all they want to do is adulate this new born baby instead of the little burro who rose above the odds and boldly got the couple to safety.

“Oh wait, I hate you guys!”

Having turned his perceived weakness into a fucking superpower, Nestor heads home with his head held high, right back into the welcoming arms of… his tormenters. Huh, I guess word gets around

Nestor is commemorated with his own piece in the Nativity scene

Big time… almost.

This is all you ever see of Jesus H. What a tease!

The Baby Jesus is never actually seen, but with the angels, shinging stars, and alleged virgin cargo, his presence is heavily implied.

He’s here, but you gotta remember, the events of this story predate Kringle by several hundred years

I’m still pretty baffled as to why Rudolph- I mean Nestor, headed back to the place where people hated him. That logic aside, it still makes for a pretty happy ending, especially once you consider it comes after what could be the most morose first act of any Christmas special in the history of both Christmas and television. That said, the songs are enjoyable, and even though the mouths of damn near everybody appear a little more low-rent than usual, you can certainly see the evolution in Rankin/Bass’ craft. They appear to have mastered the art of suspending objects in air, making for numerous feats of stop-motion awe, and the camera swoops and pans in ways I’d have to imagine blew pre-Matrix audiences away. It can be a bit depressing, but Nestor, the Long-Eared Donkey is the furthest thing from a waste of your time in December.

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Nestor, the Long-Eared Donkey appears on a no-frills disc from the Warner Archives bundled with The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus. It also shows up alongside other bonus specials on discs that have fallen out-of-print, however, I suggest you move your butt and buy the miraculously still available Classic Christmas Favorites set. It contains TEN specials, including How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, Frosty the Snowman, and a bunch of others well worth owning. You could try your luck with the out-of-print discs, but hey, I already gave you my two cents.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A JOHNNY BRAVO CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 13th Christmas Special
INVADER ZIM: THE MOST HORRIBLE XMAS EVER

An animated gift for almost any smartphone

If there’s anything I have too much of on my hard drive, it’s used and unused cartoon Christmas art. Next to optimizing it for the web, I’d say I spent a ridiculous amount of time last year scaling and tinkering the shots I pulled into the perfect iPhone Wallpaper. So, this year I’m turning that frustration into my gift to you guys! Simply, tap and hold any image below on your iPhone/iPod Touch, save, head to the Photos app and assign them using the “Set as Wallpaper” function on the left. The rest of the work has been done for you.

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Pluto’s Christmas Tree

From Bug’s Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From Frosty the Snowman

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From A Wish for Wings that Work

From The Christmas Toy

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From A Claymation Christmas Celebration

From The Christmas Toy

From Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From A Fat Albert Christmas

From Fraggle Rock’s The Bells of Fraggle Rock

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

From Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From A Muppet Family Christmas

From The Snowman

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From Mystery Science Theater 3000′s Santa Claus

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From Ren & Stimpy’s “Stimpy’s First Fart”

From Toy Tinkers

And for a taste of what’s to come on A Cartoon Christmas 2010…

Hope that makes it a little easier to decorate your smartphones this Holiday season. Stay tuned, A Cartoon Christmas is just getting warmed up!

The Original Christmas Classics Set contains: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, Frosty the Snowman, Frosty Returns, The Little Drummer Boy, Cricket on the Heart, and a CD of classic Christmas music!

Wash away those Black Friday blues with some of the greatest Christmas specials known to man! I don’t care how bad your shopping experience was, and it doesn’t matter one bit how critically you got trampled by roving packs of soccer Moms – winning one of these sets couldn’t be easier.

We’ve got three sets to give away and we’re gonna toss out ONE HERE, and TWO ON TWITTER. Want to win one right here? Just leave a comment below saying so. Yep, that’s it! We’ll pick a winner at random. To win one on Twitter? Do this:

#acartoonchristmas

Simply use that tag and tweet your favorite Christmas special from the one’s we’ve covered so far (that side bar on the left, you’ve got 24 specials to choose from) with a link to the article. So sorta like this:

We’ll pick THREE random winners Wednesday night, December 1st – the day A Cartoon Christmas’s festivities begin! – and mail your DVDs to you ASAP, so you can watch ‘em well before Christmas Day. North American residents only.

(FYI: I’m just a regular dude with a blog, not a marketer or a spammer. I’ll probably lose your address immediately after shipping and I certainly won’t give your information to anyone or anything. Trust me, and hey, follow me on Twitter.)

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Of all the specials we covered last year (see sidebar on the left), these have the distinct honor of being our favorites.

5. The Bells of Fraggle Rock

I’m a sucker for the almost all the output from Jim Henson’s stable of kind-souled bleeding hearts, but the Fraggles’ special should air every Holiday season in every household around the world. Sure, it’s a timeless tale of Gobo’s personal redemption, as well as the importance of friends and family. However, it’s also a gentle lesson on religious tolerance and importance of all cultural traditions. And the Fraggles pull it off without even mentioning the word “Christmas” once!

4. The Snowman

Truly a Christmas special like no other! Not a word is spoken throughout almost the entirety of the special, and instead the tale unfolds via enchanting interactions between a boy and his snowman come to life and hauntingly unforgettable music. Whereas many older animated shows retain the static look of cartoons pulled off on a television budget, The Snowman whips and pans along with a restrained, expertly shaded elegance giving it a wonderfully unique feel that falls somewhere in between the CGI of today and the 2D drawings of yesteryear.

3. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Being the world’s oldest Christmas specials currently running annually, I figured the Rankin-Bass classic would’ve showed its age more. Nay! Watching it today holds up every bit as well as I’d imagine it did for those old enough to remember the first airing back in 1964 when it was sponsored by General Electric. I wouldn’t even simply attribute its longevity to the timelessness of the subject matter, nor the Burt Ives songs we all know by heart. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is still a thrilling, extremely well-paced adventure starring fully-fleshed out characters and animated with some of the most colorful, stop-motion ambition the world has ever seen. Rudolph defied even my most nostalgic of expectations, and I can honestly say its worthy of its legacy with relative objectivity.

2. The Christmas Toy

I’d watched this a billion times as a kid, but I had no idea it’d hold up as well as it did. As are so many Jim Henson joints of the 1980s, The Christmas Toy is equal parts uplifting and terrifying, deftly pulling off comedy and tragedy at the same time. I suppose one of my favorite tropes, regardless of Christmas, is the premise of “toys come to life” and in the article I discuss how it’s story and characters run parallel to a certain other, ahem… “toy story” we’re all a bit more familiar with today. If you haven’t seen it, I strongly encourage you pick it up bundled with another timeless Muppet classic we’ll be covering this year: Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas.

1. Pluto’s Christmas Tree

Don’t care who you are… If you have eyes, a brain, and an age of over 10, you’ll recognize this Disney short immediately. You probably don’t remember where you first came upon it – hell, I can’t remember where I first saw it (although, an upcoming article could offer a clue…) – but you’re no doubt familiar with the breezy shenanigans of what happens when Pluto tries to protect Mickey’s Christmas tree from a duo of displaced chipmunks. There’s not a single frame within this seven minute cartoon that doesn’t bring me right back to the Holiday sights, sounds, and smells of the family living room of my youth, so obviously, my love runs strong with this one. Please understand how difficult this was to choose over Toy Tinkers!

ROBBIE THE REINDEER in HOOVES OF FIRE
Original air date: December 25, 1999

SYNOPSIS:
Rudolph’s well-intentioned but ill-applied offspring heads to the North Pole to fulfill his destiny as Santa’s chief navigator, only to find that he’s up against both a territorial Blitzen and the march of technology.  Will he step up his party-boy game in time, or have to return home a Prodigal Son?

BACKSTORY:
Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves of Fire premiered Christmas Day 1999 on the BBC.  The special was presented to benefit the charity organization Comic Relief, and it went on to win a prestigious BAFTA award in 2000, beating out such steep competition as Robot Wars and So Graham Norton.

Despite huge popularity in the U.K., it received a lukewarm reception in the U.S., where it was initially picked up by Fox Family and later sold to CBS.  Attributing its lack of appeal to the thick and varied British accents (and, let’s be honest, looking to score some star appeal), CBS re-dubbed it for American audiences in 2002, enlisting the voices of such Hollywood illuminati as Ben Stiller, Brad Garrett, Hugh Grant, and the famous voice actor Britney Spears.  Stripping the original characters of both their charm and comic timing, though, the U.S. version’s main value has proven to be as the clearest recorded example of voice-over work done through a mouthful of Cheetos.

The voice of Robbie the Reindeer: Father Ted’s Ardal O’Hanlon in the U.K., Ben Stiller in the U.S.

Robbie is the son of Rudolph, although that famous reindeer is never mentioned specifically by name. This allowed the production to play loose with the lore set in place by the 1964 Rudolph Christmas special. According to that legend, Donner should be Robbie’s grandfather, but instead she’s Robbie’s female teammate and eventual love interest.  Try not to think about it too much.

Grandpa?!?!

Although Hooves of Fire wasn’t technically made by Aardman Animations (the studio most famous for the Wallace and Gromit series), many Aardman staff – including director Richard Goleszowski – worked on the production, and their influence is readily apparent in its characteristic style.  Fans of the aforementioned limey and his inimitable pooch will find plenty to love in Robbie’s similarly detailed animation, vivid expressions, and twisted British sense of humor.

Two more Robbie specials were later created: Legend of The Lost Tribe in 2002 and Close Encounters of the Herd Kind in 2007.  And having never seen either of them, that’s all I have to say about that.

BREAKDOWN:
Our story begins with Robbie’s arrival in Coldchester, North Pole – home of none other than jolly old St. Nick.  Robbie is the son of a famous reindeer whose name we never quite learn (for copyright reasons, rumor has it – because asset protection is to Christmas as gluttony is to Thanksgiving), but if I had to guess, I’d wager that he probably had a very shiny nose.

I have no idea what this sign says, but I bet it’s full of dry British humour

Robbie’s immediately greeted by his new housemates and fellow sleigh-pullers: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome frat-boy Prancer; sulking sexpot Vixen; bubbly welcome wagon Donner; and malevolent alpha male Blitzen.  Blitzen can’t wait to welcome the famous Robbie to the gang, but something about his Jeremy Irons-esque drawl (as voiced by Steve Coogan) seems to presage evil.

Check out special-needs Beaker on the right there...

Apparently the product of some sort of genetic lottery gone awry, Robbie’s got a schnozz that’s part GPS and part seeing-eye dog, with a dash of ESP thrown in for good measure. And, like most celebrity offspring, he’s also overweight, lazy, entitled, and all too quick to embarrass himself on film.

What not to wear

Still, his heart’s in the right place – poor Robbie just wants to take his rightful place as the head of Santa’s sleigh team (and if he gets to bone Vixen in the meantime, well, so be it).  And with that Google-maps beak of his, he knows he’s got this one in the bag…

This hunk of red clay is smarter than Miss South Carolina.

Or does he?  In the absence of he-who-shall-not-be-named, Blitzen has been playing leader of the pack, and he’s not about to give up his throne without a fight.  Especially not to the son of some stinking red-nose who stole his thunder all those years ago.

Despite appearances, there is not actually a break-dancing sequence in this special.  Sorry, kids.

Robbie’s none too keen on the 364-day training regimen portion of the program as it is, so a scheming Blitzen pounces on his opportunity to encourage him to eat and sleep his way off the team.

Uh, Robbie? You’re doing it wrong.

But wait – who said anything about anyone leaving the team?…

Oh yeah – this guy.

The reindeer soon learn that a mid-life-crisis Santa’s gone and gotten himself a souped-up new ride, complete with a navigation system so advanced even Mrs. Claus could drive this thing.  And that means he’ll be needing one less steed to pull him to adulation, so it’s auf wiedersehen to the reindeer who is most unfit (criteria courtesy of local helping-hand Blitzen).

If you thought Santa’s calves were scary, wait ’til you meet this wigger

It’s a rude awakening for Robbie, who realizes he’s traded his legacy for a quarter-pounder.  So he does what any troubled celebu-spawn would: runs away from home and slums it with a blue-collar job in the local toy factory.

Octomonkey!

As the product of a life of luxury, though, Robbie is woefully unprepared for even the most banal factory work, and he undergoes a series of demotions that culminate in the humiliation of being used as a human (ah, reindeer) forklift.

And you thought antlers were just for giving your decor that special “Palin” vibe

Fortunately, Donner spots our familiar forklift one day during a factory visit, and she’s got good news for Robbie – she has a plan!  The way for Robbie to reclaim his place on the sleigh team is to win a medal in the upcoming Reindeer Games (sponsored by Hay^TM), thus redeeming himself in Santa’s eyes.

PSYCH!  It’s a dream sequence, suckahs…

But for that to happen they’re going to need a miracle, or at least a “wise old coach who can save the day.”  Enter Old Jingle, the local crazy-as-balls, older-than-dirt Mr. Miyagideer.

Homina, Homina, Homina

Jingle whips Robbie into shape with the workout montage to end all workout montages and, during a rare bout of lucidity, soothes his nerves with some sage old-man wisdom.

Aaaand Vangelis will be needing a clean pair of boxers

By the time the big day arrives, not only is Robbie a lean, mean steeple-chasing machine, but he’s also found new motivation in his spontaneously realized love for Donner (who’d been pining for him all along, but in that cryptic, passive-aggressive way that women do.  So, you know, he could be forgiven for giving her the brush-off.)

“I love everything about the person I’m going to change you into”

Still, it’s not going to be a trot in the park.  Turns out Blitzen’s ambitions are more A-Rod than Iditarod – he’s been juicing (apparently you can drink steroids now, which would have been nice to know before I had a forearm like a pimiento loaf…) to gain a hoof up on the competition.

Pop quiz: which one of these hairy beasts has bedded Madonna?

Fortunately, Blitzen’s ‘roid rage is no match for Rocky’s – er, Robbie’s – training (and general love-fueled mania).  Even after sprinting out of the park pre-race to rescue a prostrate Old Jingle from his poorly placed (read: on top of him) house, Robbie manages to return and chase Blitzen down to a photo finish.

And the winner is…Blitzen, by a nose!  BURN.

No matter – the Reindeer Games commission is onto Blitzen anyway, and Robbie could care less, what with the all-night romp-in-the-hay you know he’s in for (don’t think I don’t know that look, Donner…).

Yesssssss

So Santa apologizes in the best way men know how – by lending Robbie his wheels and never mentioning this again – and Robbie and Donner ride off into the moonset to the sounds of a Mark Knopfler song cheesy enough to plug you up from now ’til New Year’s.

You kids be careful, now, or it’s gonna be more than just your hooves on fire.

Awww, shucks.

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Hooves on Fire is available on DVD, packaged with Robbie’s 2002 follow-up, The Legend of The Lost Tribe. The disc contains both British and American voice tracks, but, in the biggest slap in the face since the Boston Tea Party, bills the original version as a bonus “alternate U.K. audio track.”

Hooves director Richard Goleszowski went on to work with Aardman studios on the Creature Comforts series, including this double-sized Christmas episode available on a stand alone DVD as well as the Wallace and Gromit spin-off Shaun the Sheep.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer