Similar to what we did last year with the Top 25 Cartoon Christmas Trees, A Cartoon Christmas is letting you (AND ME!) skip the usual 1000+ words of grammatically defiant babble on this day of days, while still giving you the opportunity to look at some gorgeous animated imagery.

REAL SANTAS

1. “Classic Santa” from A Disney Christmas Gift

I forget who issued me the challenge, but it was this: Can you find 50 different pictures from cartoon Santas? Well, two years + one post a day, every day in December until Christmas = 50 posts… yeah, sounds easy enough.

2. “Party Santa” from The Snowman (buy it here)

But wait?! There ain’t no Santy Claws in Mickey’s Christmas Carol or A Charlie Brown Christmas! And a few days on the animated advent calendar over there on left are, debatebly, cop out entries… You know, I could do it if I can do cartoon approximations of Saint Nick (i.e. cartoons characters posing as Santa) in addition to the Real McDeal! And that’s how we’re going to break these down: Real and Fake Santas.

3. “Slow Santa” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

Both are just as fun to look at anyway, right? Oh, and keep an eye out for a third SUPER SECRET category if I can’t meet the numeric criteria.

4. “Magician Santa” from Frosty the Snowman (buy it here)

Please enjoy our last post on the 2010’s Animated Advent Calendar, and feel free to click on image/link to read more on about the special showcase.

5. “Stranded Santa” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

And if you feel like buying the DVD, please do it through the Amazon link provided. Doing so costs you nothing, but kicks a small percentage back to us, which helps keep the site up. Or at least we hope it will someday!

6. “Useless Santa” from The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann

7. “Second Banana Santa” from A Chipmunks Christmas (buy it here)

8. “Sickly Santa” from Christmas Comes to PacLand

9. “Recipient Santa” from A Johnny Bravo Christmas (buy it here)

10. “Shouldn’t Count Santa” from Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (buy it here)

11. “Skinny Santa” from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (buy it here)

12. “Donkey-Worshiping Santa” from Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey (buy it here)

13. “Massive Santa” from Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (buy it here)

14. “Writer Santa” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

15. “Stupid Santa” from Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (buy it here)

16. “Smokin’ Claus” from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (buy it here)

17. “Blink and you’ll miss ‘em Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

18. “Captive Santa” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

19. “Young Ginger Santa” from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (buy it here)

20. “Interstellar Santa” from George and the Christmas Star (buy it here)

21. “Sleepy Santa” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

22. “Stinky Santa” from Ren & Stimpy: Stimpy’s First Fart (buy it here)

FAKE SANTAS

23. “Robotnik Claus” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

24. “Opus Claus” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

25. “Kermit Claus” (no longer) from The Christmas Toy (buy it here)

26. “Funky Claus” from TaleSpin: A Molly Jolly Christmas (buy it here)

27. “Robot Holocaust Claus” from Batman: Christmas with The Joker (buy it here)

28. “Snoopy Claus” from It’s ChristmasTime Again, Charlie Brown (buy it here)

29. “Donald Claus” from Toy Tinkers (buy it here)

30. “Racist Claus” from Mickey’s Good Deed (buy it here)

31. “Claus of Doom” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

32. “Samson Claus” from A Very Venture Christmas (buy it here)

33. “Squidward Claus” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

34. “Taz Clauz” from Bugs Bunny Looney Christmas Tales (buy it here)

35. “Dale Claus” from Pluto’s Christmas Tree (buy it here)

36. “Goofy Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

37. “An Extremely Goofy Santa” Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

38. “Prince Adam Claus” from He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (buy it here)

39. “BBB Claus” from A Fat Albert Christmas (buy it here)

40. “Sad, Drunk Claus” from Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (buy it here)

41. “Extinct Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

42. “Dried Fruit Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

43. ” Doc Claus” from A Muppet Family Christmas

44. “Redemption Claus” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (buy it here)

YET TO BE COVERED SANTAS

45. “Pink Santa” from A Pink Christmas (buy it here)

46. “Worst 2010 Movie Star Santa” from Yogi’s First Christmas (buy it here)

47. “Nothing to Apologize for Santa” from Pee-Wee Herman’s Christmas Special (buy it here)

48. “Warner Santa” from Anamaniacs’ ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

49. “Ruckus Claus” from A Huey Freeman Christmas (buy it here)

50. “Robot Santa” from Futurama’s Xmas Story (buy it here)

Seriously, thanks to everyone for reading this stuff. Really means a lot. (Now go have a great Christmas!)

You’ve may’ve seen Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer over a billion times, but unless you’re over the age of 45, you’ve NEVER seen this…

When Hermey’s boss isn’t dressing down elves, he also hocks vacuums

One thing that sucks about being a completist dork is that you’ll never truly be able to see older Christmas specials exactly as they originally aired. Back before I was born, it wasn’t uncommon to see the show’s stars interacting directly with their sponsor’s products during commercial breaks. I’m sure you’ve all seen The Flintstones hocking Winston cigarettes, right?

I understand that these older sponsorships no longer have much of a place on today’s TV airwaves, but I still think nerds like me should certainly have the right to see them. And while I bitched more about the lost footage of the Peanuts interacting with Coca-Cola in my write up on A Charlie Brown Christmas, this is arguably cooler (And older by one year!)

This is ridiculously amazing find. I love the internet!

Common Knowledge: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was largely underwritten by General Electric back in 1964, and while the stellar DVD and Blu-Ray releases do contain almost all the footage, and additional footage from the special, they’ve been sorely lacking this heaving dollop of awesome sauce you see above!

This character is known only as “Tall Elf” in the special

You may’ve heard that Rudolph premiered under The General Electric Fantasy Hour, but I personally had just assumed it originally aired with a couple of “Brought to you by” bumpers and that would be it. Not so!

Can’t believe print ads have been archived better than actual footage that undoubtedly involved many more people and was much more expensive to produce

Not only was the sponsored footage produced by Rankin/Bass themselves, it stars the characters from the special, voiced by the same actors, singing the praises of sensational new products of the day!

Too cool for conventional ovens

Say what you will about the ethicality of classic characters used to pitch housewares, you can’t ignore the fact that the models used are undoubtedly heirlooms and this newly discovered footage amounts to almost ten minutes of footage, the world has never seen before!

This company makes nuclear power plants now?!

Seriously, how cool is this?! I especially love the whimsical nature of the products showcased here, as they’re so adorable in their attempts at being futuristic, you’d probably think they were parodies. That is, if these weren’t very, very real.

Batshit nuts about all things General Electric!

I know more footage like this has to exist for other specials, so I encourage anyone working in television archives or old enough to have been involved in these productions to hop the hell on YouTube right quick! I can give you a 80% guarantee you won’t be sued.

Lay your sacrifice at the feet of the GE sappling!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us and support the Site!)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer appears on an ultra affordable standalone DVD, but with no notable bonus features to speak of, I’d have to recommend The Original Christmas Classics Boxed set. The price is a steal, plus it contains six more classic Christmas specials, including other Rankin/Bass stop motion classics like The Little Drummer Boy and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. And I can’t recommend the Holiday Figurine set enough. Featuring almost all of Rudolph‘s primary cast, I propose that this become every atheist’s annual nativity scene. High-def owners will also want to check out the new Rudolph Blu-ray, which in spite of what you might think, truly astounds!

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
GEORGE AND THE CHRISTMAS STAR

2009′s Dec. 22th Christmas Special
MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: Dec 8, 1974

Skepticism nearly derails the holidays, but eventually guilt and blind faith save the day for humans and mice alike…

BACKSTORY:

The Rankin/Bass production company owns approximately 17% of your Christmas memories with the one-two punch of classics Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. And since those were so successful, they just kept on making new ones, each with speaking parts of notable stars of the time, such as Mickey Roonie Angela Lansbury, and Buddy Hackett. They were the Dreamworks Animation of their time, in that they kept making celebrity-fueled works that were small variations on the same story.

By 1974, Rankin/Bass was pretty into the swing of things, and for that year’s X-Mas cartoon jubilee, the team looked to one of the earliest works of popular American prose. The poem is titled “A Visit From St. Nicholas” no matter how much popular perception thinks it’s “‘Twas the night before Christmas,” and it basically solidified our perceptions of who Santa was. It gave a detailed description of what we all know about Santa now, his sleigh flying in on eight reindeer that were named in the same poem; it describes how one lucky guy witnessed the magical man pop into his home, friendly as could be, to give toys out of his sack to everyone.

Don’t be afraid, it’s not offensive

Heck, “A Visit from St. Nicholas” could even be called the first American Christmas special even if it wasn’t animated. Every Santa-based Christmas cartoon you’ve seen owes so much to that poem and what it started that it seems only fitting to make a special based around it. But first we’re going to need a family of talking mice and a Broadway actor.

BREAKDOWN:

It all starts simple enough. We pull in on an American, pre-Civil war home on a snowy night. We hear Joel Grey, who’s most famous as the host in the Oscar-winning Cabaret and for fathering Jennifer Grey of Dirty Dancing fame (and here you thought he was gay), recite the beginning of the poem. Here’s what kids look like dreaming of sugar plums:

Why show us their dream sugar plums? It’s not like this is a cartoon or anything

And Ma in her kerchief while the father reads a multi-page bound book used that holds a 56 verse poem.

So in their world the poem exists and yet it’s about to happen to them too? Plus, the book has the wrong title

But that simple premise is quickly thrown out the window to introduce some cute mice into the picture. Yup, this human family lives with a matching mouse family that owns small furniture and everything.

They even have tiny mice editions of the same book

It’s stupid to question the reality of something that climaxes with the eventual appearance of Santa Claus, but this is just silly. This special is only 25 minutes long and you immediately clutter it with two separate families and plotlines? So anyway, things are dire on X-Mas Eve for the mice and the humans. In a slightly creepy way, Father Mouse calls the human father “the boss,” which conjures a kind of agreed upon slave/master situation in this society.

Just because you dress like your oppressor doesn’t make you guys friends, Father Mouse

By the way, what kind of name is that, Father Mouse? Anyway, the troubles began two months earlier, when some mail got delivered to the families in the fictional town of Junctionville.

Does everyone in this world walk around with their mouse doppelganger? So many questions about this strange earth

Every person in town gets their letters to Santa returned to them, and I mean every person, kids and parents alike, sent Santa their usual letter asking for stuff and now it had been returned to them unopened. Everyone in Junctionville is sad and confused by this seemingly unwarranted passive-aggressive action by Claus, but Father Mouse is gonna get to the bottom of it by calling up the North Pole.

Nobody writes jokes for the person-to-person phone operator anymore

Seriously? Mice not only have a complex, clothes wearing society, but they have their own phone companies that in the mid-1800s can call the North Pole? The Christmas mouse on the other end explains to Father Mouse that Santa is pretty mad at the town because of a letter published in their newspaper that called into doubt his very existence. So the giving spirit of Christmas turns on an entire town of believers because of one doubting letter? This Santa is pretty Old Testament.

Confused protesters attack the government because of superstitions

Meanwhile in the human world, the lazy bureaucrats that run the town want to fix things but don’t want to put any work into doing so (what a comment on our society!). Eventually Father Human, or Mr. Trundle as he’s sometimes called, shows up and explains that he’s got a plan to make Santa love them again: making the town clock sing a song praising Santa.

“And the imprisoned singing children would go inside…”

That quick fix is okayed and tons of taxpayer dollars are thrown away on a whim to impress St. Nick. At the same time the mouse family pours over their collection of old, human-sized newspapers to find the offending letter.

And where and how do they store all those newspapers?

The letter in question, signed “all of us,” calls out Santa as a dangerous myth and the reindeer as phony. After thinking it over, the family realizes that the use of long words in the letter could only lead to one person, apparently the only individual in town that reads… the mouse family’s own son, Albert. The family confronts Albert, accusing him of hurting Santa’s widdle feelings, and Albert is proud to have done so and stands by his words still.

Nerds before the internet

I’m all for not believing in stuff, and Atheism is probably the easiest belief system there is. But if I wrote a letter saying God is a superstition and then everyone I knew got stamped letters back from God saying I was a dick, I think my doubts would waver a tad. Regardless, Albert still believes Santa is a lie, perhaps the root of some global conspiracy, and is then chewed out in song form for thinking too much and believing too little. It’s one of the least Christmas-y songs ever to be in a Christmas special, which is probably why it’s usual cut for time in most TV airing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

But the guilt trip isn’t over. Father Mouse takes Albert all over town Ghost of Christmas Present-style to show him all the pain his lack of belief caused. Actual line: “Here’s our first example of how you ruined everyone’s Christmas with your opinions.” Jeez Rankin/Bass, did your kids just come home from their first semester of college or something?

“See Albert, just do what we tell ya and the orphans will stop crying”

Albert still persists that grown-ups don’t believe in Santa, so Father Mouse proves him wrong by showing Al the clock Mr. Trundle is making for Santa. But instead of shutting the unbeliever up, he’s instead fascinated by how the complex machine works. A little too fascinated…

Ain’t no party like a clock starting party!

There’s a big party to celebrate the clock’s completion, but once Mr. Trundle cuts the ribbon that somehow starts the clock, the whole thing falls apart to the shock and dismay of everyone. The mayor probably has the best reaction:

“ZOUNDS!”

The public embarrassment ruins Mr. Trundle. People don’t want his clocks anymore and he’s forbidden from fixing the broken town clock. Pretty soon his whole family is starving to death, as are the mice that depend on their crumbs.

Mice have society with phones, clothes, corrective lenses, and tiny books but still subsist off of garbage dropped on the floor?

The whole family is ready to give up and die on Christmas Eve, until Joel Grey bursts into the most memorable part of the whole special, the song Even a Miracle Needs a Hand. Taking a message similar to the recent Princess and the Frog, he sings about how you can wish and hope, but you’ve gotta work your ass off to get something great  done.

Here’s the song in case you’ve never heard it

It’s a really swell song and is the best part of the whole thing. Also since you just watched the clip, it’s worth noting that many of these old specials were animated by some Japanese artists who went on to become part of Studio Ghibli, makers of Totoro and many other esteemed anime classics. And while the animation is pretty sub-par most of the time, you occasionally see flashes of what they could really do:

Here’s the most Ghibli-esque scene in the cartoon

But not so much, this:

LOLGobbleLOL

Of course the real point of the song is to poor just a little bit more guilt on the too-smart-for-his-own-good Albert. Him seeing the Trundles happy in the face of adversity, he admits to his dad through tears that he wanted to see how the clock worked and in doing so broke it, as his damned inquisitiveness nearly killed his entire family. He says he’s sorry but that’s not good enough for Father Mouse, so Al decides he’s going to fix it all by himself in the matter of hours left before Christmas. His dad just lets him walk off on his own into this dark, snowy night to work with machinery that’d be too big one for one man, let alone a child mouse. I’m just saying he’s a great dad is all.

Hahaha, he almost died!

As Albert runs off, Father Mouse goes to apologize on behalf of his son. This was the part that just breaks the whole special for me. They had set up that while they knew of each other’s existence the mouse and human world’s were pretty separate. Now all of a sudden they can talk to one another with no explanation. “Oh did we forget to mention that mice talk and converse often with humans? Oh well, no time to explain now.”

“Thanks talking mouse, your words are of great comfort. Also, stop chewing holes in my walls please.”

That brings us back to before, as it is still the night before Christmas, but only for a few minutes longer. Then the last comes and goes, breaking the timed honored rule of a countdown ending at the last second. But a couple seconds later Albert gets the clock going and the song praising Santa strokes his ego enough to have his pull a u-turn in his sleigh and head back.

Not the usual R&B Santa. No mustache!

Then comes what the audience had long been waiting for as Joel Grey reads the rest of the poem in it’s entirety, including  “the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave the luster of midday to the objects below.” Once that starts the ending is pretty rote, as families both mouse and human watch Santa get down to business.

A short, filthy stranger gets to work

It’s off-putting at first, but I give R/B credit for making this Santa more of an enigma. Because he has so few lines he isn’t their normal talkative Santa who explains plot points while hugging lost children and elves. He’s just a weird, diminutive creature that people can only watch in amazement. He speaks with actions, whether winking:

Santsual harrassment

Smoking:

Somebody think of the children!

And laying a finger aside of his nose, a seemingly random act that continues to confuse children to this day:

Totally different from “thumbing your nose” at something

That dealt with, Santa rides off, and doesn’t even apologize for doubting Junctionville’s heart.

Ho x3

Meanwhile Albert’s learns that maybe all the answers aren’t in books and we can assume Mr. Trundle’s business gets back on track, but honestly you’ll never know, because the cartoon ends immediately after the last line of the poem.

Wait, has anybody seen my pocket watch?

No real references to religion, save for a line about pleasing your maker in the Miracles song. Still it gets slight credit for spending so long attempting to make non-believers feel bad.

Santa is pretty central to the plot here, even if you don’t see him till the end. And I give R/B credit for not recycling an old design. Still, Santa acts like a real jerk in the beginning then just shows up smiling and giving just seconds later. Can you say manic-depressive?

This one felt like it was an hour long special cut to 25 minutes. There’s barely any time to build any spirit, and the amount of time spent making a kid feel bad for having opinions seems counter to all the warm feelings Christmas is supposed to bring. Still, it’s hard to argue with an unabridged reciting of one of the most defining works of Christmas cheer doesn’t bring some spirit to the whole thing, so I’ll just say it breaks even.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Although ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas never gets top billing, it appears as a bonus on numerous Rankin/Bass DVDs, the cheapest being bundled with Frosty’s Winter Wonderland. However, you’ll get a bigger bang for your Christmas buck purchasing it in the Classic Christmas Favorites set, as it comes also comes with How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey and a slew of others making for a total of 10 specials! These Rankin/Bass collections are tricky since they come in and out of print every holiday, but the aforementioned set is a ridiculously good value and I feel this is the last Christmas it’ll be available. Having said that, even though it doesn’t contain ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, The Original Christmas Classics DVD box set packs in a bunch of different Rankin/Bass favorites the other sets don’t such as Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and Frosty the Snowman.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A SPONGEBOB CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

2009′s Dec. 18th Christmas Special
REN & STIMPY: STIMPY’S FIRST FART

NESTOR, THE LONG-EARED CHRISTMAS DONKEY
Original Air Date: December 3, 1977

Then one day pre-Christmas, Yahweh came to say / “Nestor with your ears so long, won’t you guide my unborn son along!”

BACKSTORY:

In the early 1960s, Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass formed a company originally known as Videocraft International. The Toronto-based studio began by focusing on a process then called “Animagic,” a stop-motion procedure usually farmed overseas to largely uncredited Japanese animators (who would later make a mass exodus to Studio Ghibli, of Spirited Away and Ponyo fame).

The Videocraft logo as it appears in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and the Rankin/Bass logo that preceded Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey

Videocraft’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was an enormous smash right out of the gate, and the company followed suit with several other long-running Christmas specials including Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and Frosty the Snowman.

You know these guys

While the studio dabbled in specials – and even feature films – with non-Christmas themes, it became fairly clear by the mid-’70s that Holiday specials were going to be its bread and butter. So what’s a studio to do when it runs out of Christmas tunes and legends to turn into animated specials? Well, after spinning off Rudolph and Frosty sequels, they made up a tale of their own.

BREAKDOWN:
Man, I loved this special back in the day, but Nestor, the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey is fucking frightening! I mean, I’m pretty hard-pressed to come down on Rankin-Bass for almost any reason…but Jesus Christ, you guys?!

Shots in this sequence were reused from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

I’m well aware the duo probably didn’t have all that many Christmas jingles to retrofit into an “X the Xmas Y” formula, but did they really have to concoct a tale so unrelentingly cruel and wrought with tragedy that it’s… well, actually pretty befitting of its biblical setting, come to think of it.

Sty, Sweet Sty

Seriously, all the crap Disney takes for its past comedic depictions of animal cruelty and murdering the parents of its heroes in plain sight can’t hold a Menorah candle to the bloodcurdling heartbreak Nestor has in store in just twenty-four minutes.

AHAHAHAHAH, FREAK!

I mention this not as a criticism, but as almost a warning to others who care to watch it.  I was completely convinced that I was settling in for nothing more than a lighthearted Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer rip-off.

“Yeah, I’m standin’ on your ear. Do somethin’ about it!”

Nestor starts off with yet another celebrity introducing our titular hero in song.

Roger Miller, serenading you into depression

Roger Miller, the singer songwriter behind twangy country hits like “King of the Road,” voices Speiltoe, and he does a helluva a good job convincing the audience they’re not about to see things that will be burned into whatever portion of your brain gets referenced every time your body decides it’s time for a nightmare.

Livin’ like an ass ain’t easy

Nestor is mocked mercilessly for his obvious condition, but since we’ve all been conditioned to anticipate that his deformity will save the day a mere twenty minutes from now, you’ll probably assume you can roll with his punches.

Ker-THUD

Thing is, the woodland creatures’ jabs are far more unrelenting than those in Rudolph. Plus, without a Clarice or Hermey to alleviate Nestor’s pain, his torment is absolutely heartbreaking to watch.

Dicks

And not just because you’ll see the first of many shots of Nestor crying his eyes out.

Nestor is trying to break your heart

The song, “Don’t Laugh and Make Somebody Cry,” digs deep into how much it sucks to be Nestor, and it’s accompanied with elongated montages of animals laughing loudly and being unbelievably cruel to the poor jackass.

Humans aren’t any nicer

His mother is his only sanctuary. Even Olaf the stable-hand refuses to feed Nestor on account of his ear-induced uselessness, and the poor kid would go hungry if it weren’t for his mammy.

A rare smile

Yet even after all that heartbreak and peer rejection, what depressed me even more was that the special makes a point of saying that the only time anybody was nice to Nestor was around the Winter Solstice.

As if his life before this moment never even happened

This hit me in a strange way, as it reminded me of instances in grade school where I can recall everyone being nice to a kid around Christmas or his birthday, only to treat him like a shit-based swastika the other 364 days of the year. It brought back this strange sense of pain and pity at the idea that a rotten lot in life has nothing to do with your behavior, just…. Depressing!

Roman Holiday

And in come the Romans! Ever the harbingers of bad news in biblical times, a soldier arrives to buy livestock for the Emperor’s service. Of course he ends up simply stealing them, but not before interrupting Nestor’s single day of sanctity by once again pointing out that his ears are, in fact, larger than regular-sized ears.

Abuse!

This is the last straw for Olaf, familiarly voiced by Paul Frees, who chucks Nestor out on his, erm, ass to die in the snow.

Perk to having long ears #1

Fortunately, his mother comes to his rescue, offering calm and warmth throughout that furiously cold winter night.

Ahhhh, everything’s cool now, right?

“As savagery often does, it left beauty in its wake,” says Speiltoe cheerfully, as if we’re about to catch up with Nestor and his mother cooking three-egg omelets over a cracklin’ morning fire…

Nope

Yeah…your Mom’s dead, dude.

RIP MOM

And it’s pretty much your fault. I don’t know why, but I didn’t remember this. Bear in mind I’m the closest thing to a “Professional Christmas Special Commentator” the internet’s got going… But I was so goddamned gutwrenchingly depressed by Nestor at this point, I damn near turned it off. An industry first!

Goddammit… SAD!

Nestor wanders the forest looking for a reason to live, only to find snow and more snow and ears that continue to trip him up every third step. Fortuntely, an angelic creature appears out of the blue to give him a mission.

GAH!

Did you know that whereas angels guide humans, cherubs guide animals? Me neither! But truly I appreciate the heavenly Tilly for finally making the distinction. And in another Christmas miracle, Tilly also ties back into yesterday’s special, as she’s voiced by Brenda Vaccaro, the voice behind Johnny Bravo’s mom!

Greener pastures

She playfully tugs Nestor’s ears as they sing-songedly make their way to Bethlehem, where some sort of surprise awaits him. This scene brought me right back into whimsy, as it’s a warm – and snowless – montage of Nestor acting happily for the first time since the special began.

Bears are jerks too

Sorry, I just gotta show you some more, because Lord knows I need the pick-me-up at this point in the special.

Astounding stop-motion work here

Big Ear perk #2!

Once in Bethlehem, Tilly books it back to heaven and Nestor wanders aimlessly, once again subjected to the mockery of his peers. Somehow he ends up on the auction block, where he continues to be undesired thanks to his unsightly ears.

You might recognize the camels from The Little Drummer Boy

That is until one day a poor carpenter shows up looking for something his pregnant wife can ride on – Shhhhh, don’t ruin it for everybody yet!

“Do you accept prayer?”

Some broke ass-couple going under the names of Joseph and Mary need a lift, and they’re not picky about the paint job.

Ridin’ out

Unfortunately, the trio gets caught in a sandstorm, and the narrator tells us that Nestor considers dumping the fat lady and heading into shelter. But then: a guiding light…

Screw the humans

“SIMBA…”

Both Tilly and Nestor’s mother appear to him, telling him to listen. Galdurnnit, big ears probably mean big listentin’!

I suppose you could call it a manger

Nestor guides the couple through the storm and into the city. With all the hotels full, he figures a stable is as good a place as any – why, they’ll be as happy and warm as he used to be, nestled next to his mother in the hay,

Home at last!

Nestor gets them where they need to go, but doesn’t even stick around. Three wise looking men show up, but all they want to do is adulate this new born baby instead of the little burro who rose above the odds and boldly got the couple to safety.

“Oh wait, I hate you guys!”

Having turned his perceived weakness into a fucking superpower, Nestor heads home with his head held high, right back into the welcoming arms of… his tormenters. Huh, I guess word gets around

Nestor is commemorated with his own piece in the Nativity scene

Big time… almost.

This is all you ever see of Jesus H. What a tease!

The Baby Jesus is never actually seen, but with the angels, shinging stars, and alleged virgin cargo, his presence is heavily implied.

He’s here, but you gotta remember, the events of this story predate Kringle by several hundred years

I’m still pretty baffled as to why Rudolph- I mean Nestor, headed back to the place where people hated him. That logic aside, it still makes for a pretty happy ending, especially once you consider it comes after what could be the most morose first act of any Christmas special in the history of both Christmas and television. That said, the songs are enjoyable, and even though the mouths of damn near everybody appear a little more low-rent than usual, you can certainly see the evolution in Rankin/Bass’ craft. They appear to have mastered the art of suspending objects in air, making for numerous feats of stop-motion awe, and the camera swoops and pans in ways I’d have to imagine blew pre-Matrix audiences away. It can be a bit depressing, but Nestor, the Long-Eared Donkey is the furthest thing from a waste of your time in December.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Nestor, the Long-Eared Donkey appears on a no-frills disc from the Warner Archives bundled with The Life and Adventures of Santa Claus. It also shows up alongside other bonus specials on discs that have fallen out-of-print, however, I suggest you move your butt and buy the miraculously still available Classic Christmas Favorites set. It contains TEN specials, including How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, Frosty the Snowman, and a bunch of others well worth owning. You could try your luck with the out-of-print discs, but hey, I already gave you my two cents.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A JOHNNY BRAVO CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 13th Christmas Special
INVADER ZIM: THE MOST HORRIBLE XMAS EVER

An animated gift for almost any smartphone

If there’s anything I have too much of on my hard drive, it’s used and unused cartoon Christmas art. Next to optimizing it for the web, I’d say I spent a ridiculous amount of time last year scaling and tinkering the shots I pulled into the perfect iPhone Wallpaper. So, this year I’m turning that frustration into my gift to you guys! Simply, tap and hold any image below on your iPhone/iPod Touch, save, head to the Photos app and assign them using the “Set as Wallpaper” function on the left. The rest of the work has been done for you.

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Pluto’s Christmas Tree

From Bug’s Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From Frosty the Snowman

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From A Wish for Wings that Work

From The Christmas Toy

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From A Claymation Christmas Celebration

From The Christmas Toy

From Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From A Fat Albert Christmas

From Fraggle Rock’s The Bells of Fraggle Rock

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

From Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From A Muppet Family Christmas

From The Snowman

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From Mystery Science Theater 3000′s Santa Claus

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From Ren & Stimpy’s “Stimpy’s First Fart”

From Toy Tinkers

And for a taste of what’s to come on A Cartoon Christmas 2010…

Hope that makes it a little easier to decorate your smartphones this Holiday season. Stay tuned, A Cartoon Christmas is just getting warmed up!

FROSTY THE SNOWMAN
Original Air Date: December 7, 1969

A group of children and a magical rabbit bring a lovable snowman to life. Keeping him that way gets to be a little problematic…

BACKSTORY:

Frosty the Snowman comes from the popular Christmas song written by Walter “Jack” Collins and Steve Nelson in 1950, just one year after the duo penned the immortal “Here Comes Peter Cotton Tale” for Easter.

The book adaptation of the Frosty song, and the album on which it appears performed by Gene Autry, who first turned down the opportunity perform Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, thinking the song was “too silly”

Following the success of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Cricket on the Hearth, Rankin/Bass decided to adapt another Holiday tune into a televised Christmas special and Mad Magazine artist, Paul Cocker Jr. was brought in to give Frosty the look and feel of a Christmas greeting card.

Frosty the Snowman premiered on CBS in 1969, and has done so every year since. Rankin/Bass produced numerous sequels to the special, including Frosty’s Winter Wonderland and Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July. Their success would prompt latter day rights holders to produce further Frosty specials including CBS’s Frosty Returns in 1992 and the direct-to-DVD The Legend of Frosty the Snowman in 2005.

Frosty Returns and The Legend of Frosty the Snowman. The sheer amount of Frosty sequels alone ensure this blog will have material until 2015

BREAKDOWN:

My memories of this special are a little vague, since I believe Frosty the Snowman’s annual airings began to taper off into earlier timeslots during my childhood, thus somehow passing me by once the other Xmas specials were airing in full swing in late December.

Now, I don’t mean to sell the special short, but it’s not hard to see why a kid could become slightly less interested in Frosty. Compared to other Rankin/Bass Christmas classics based of Holiday songs, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, Frosty just doesn’t hold up as well.

I’ll bet you’ve forgotten about some of this stuff

The animation isn’t crude necessarily, yet it’s certainly rudimentary, especially when watched side-by-side with something as painstakingly gorgeous as How the Grinch Stole Christmas. And I’m not sure if my DVD was an odd remaster, but the audio was almost distracting. The children’s vocals are so crystal clear they seem disembodied from what’s onscreen, coupled with several sequences that are just a mess of stock Hanna-Barbera sound effects, oftentimes accompanied with the low-fi ambient noise of a record player.

The Great Tiny Train Robbery of ’69

That said, of course I’m still nostalgic for Frosty – Jackie Vernon’s depiction of the famous snowman remains one of the most iconic versions of the character to this day. But just writing about it makes me feel old as dirt. How would you try and convey the magic of Jimmy Durante’s role as narrator and songman?

“Ha-Chaa-Cha“

I’d like to tell kids he’s the comedian Looney Tunes are impersonating every time they grow a large nose and say “Inka-Dinka-Do,” but it’s not like those toons have aired much in the last decade either.

The simple joys of winter

Doesn’t matter much anyway, because Frosty the Snowman is still a pretty grand adventure, even if it is unspooled at a pace better suited for preschoolers. Before the opening credits role, we see a snowed in school visited by a rather shitty magician named Professor Hinkle.

“Nothing up my sleeve”

He botches every trick in his bag, and once the kids quit groaning long enough to take off outside, a magic rabbit named Hocus Pocus runs outside with the illusionist’s hat.

Hats: The key to existence

Turns out the hat is actually powerful enough to bring precipitation to life! And the kids all rejoice for several minutes after their snowman becomes strangely sentient.

Just a little bit of pixie dust

Unfortunately, even though Hinkle has failed to produce anything but failed appearances at elementary schools with the godlike abilities of the hat, he demands it back, believing he can make millions doing nothing other than making snow talk.

For this, Hocus Pocus, will not stand! Even Uncle Jimmy confirms that, since the hat basically is the soul of this now-living creature, the hat now belongs to Frosty, and the hapless rabbit runs it back to the snowman.

Resurrection: A cause for celebration

Okay, assuming you accept the statutes enacted by the Finders v. Keepers case, you’ll have no problem swallowing the rest of the special. Because Frosty parties so goddamned hard, he begins to sweat profusely.

“The hat must’ve given me glands too”

Not sure about the meteorological feasibility of condensation on precipitation, but one thing’s clear: If Frosty gets too hot, he’s gonna melt. The kids don’t want to see him die, so a plan is conspired to get Frosty to the North Pole, post haste! And what better way to kick off the convoy then with a slam-bangin’ Xmas parade?!

Too merry for crosswalks

I love the following sequence, as it chucks away most of the ambiguity in other Christmas fables. Frosty is alive, and it’s no secret, nor a figment of the children’s imagination, because the entire town gets to see it too.

“This town is for figurative Whites only!”

A policeman is shown to already harbor negative snowman stereotypes, and even worse, the guy at the train station is demanding $3K to get Frosty to the North Pole. A bold statement on the corrupt practices found in Holiday travel inflation? I think so.

You must be at least this rich to ride over the the Holidays

With that kind of price gouge in place, I won’t fault the petty crime they pull next. No longer merely hat thieves, the kids stow Frosty away in a refrigerated train car. And for whatever reason, Karen opts to ride along in the icebox, and Frosty foresees zero conflict with this.

I see no problem with this

Nor do the shortsighted trio see that Professor Hinkle stow away too, still hellbent on getting his goddamn hat back and reverting Frosty back to a lifetime of stationary snow standing.

Not the smartest stowaway

Here’s where my theory on this special being geared towards preschoolers gains a little more credence, as Karen starts to succumb to the inevitable. Now kids now the dangers of weather! Don’t eat cold, kids. Sure a snow creature and a rabbit are fit for traveling to the North Pole through the snow and a refrigerator, but the idiocy the rest of us all saw coming begins to unfold.

Oh, right! It’s fucking freezing

Frosty’s left with no choice but to hop off his ideal lift to immorality and get Karen to warmer pastures. So what do we do when we get to cold, kids? That’s right: Start Fires!

Stumbling upon a woodland Xmas

Thing is, Frosty can’t get too close to flame, as he’s become all too aware of his own mortality in his less than 15 minute existence on this earth, so it’s up to Hocus Rabbit to get the forest creatures to build a fire.

Speaking “animal” is sorta like asking where the bathroom is in a foreign country

“This is awesome, why have been hibernating all these years?!”

In order to keep Karen alive, Frosty’s gotta keep his distance, and waits for Santa to fly by and give her a lift home. Unfortunately, both of their survival necessities leave them vulnerable to attack from, you guessed it: Proffy Hinkey.

Okay, he could be arrested for this

Frosty’s gotta act fast, and fast he acts, whisking Karen away on his back, becoming the fastest sled that ever lived!

His body bonds with snow like a blood cell in an artery

Karen is still weary and desperately in need of heat, so in a complicated choice, Frosty opts to set her down inside a tropical poinsettia greenhouse, then get the hell outta there before the heat reduces him to slush.

Somewhere between a sauna and Hell for Frosty

Oh, If only Hinkle weren’t right behind them…

Tried to piece together one of the panning shots. Hope ya like!

Back at the forest vestibule, Santa arrives and is thankfully fluent enough in animal tongue to get directions to Karen and Frosty.

This should’ve been subtitled

Tragically, it’s too late. I’m not sure why, but much like the ending of The Snowman, nothing gets me misty like a man melted.

Snowdeath for the Holidays

Not to worry, in this here magical dick-waving contest, Santa’s a regular John Holmes. He not only resurrects Frosty…

Brought back for the third time in a single special

He threatens Hinkle with a lifetime of presentlessness should he ever attempt to reclaim his hat.

How ’bout a festive knuckle sandwich?

Karen’s sleighed back home, and Frosty’s prolonged safety is all but assured.

“Thanks for not dropping me off at the front door“

The special concludes, yet in keeping with the wonderful tradition Rankin/Bass started with Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman wraps up every loose end during the credits.

A shot from Christmas 1970

Frosty’s return is promised, and return he does in the numerous sequels that followed this Holiday staple.

“I’ll be back. A lot, actually“

Despite more than a few reasons to bend a knee and pray for survival, Christ gets no acknowledgment whatsoever.

Santa’s here big time, baby! And no offense to Frosty’s look, but his minimalist design ranks among some of my all time favorite depictions of Kris Kringle.

In spite of being a slightly antiquated affair, a whole lot happens during the brief half hour runtime. It’s likely you’ve forgotten many of the whimsical sequences that transpire here, so it’s certainly worth a watch. Yet, while I cherished this viewing from a historical perspective, I can’t say that Frosty the Snowman holds up as well as half a dozen other Rankin/Bass Christmas classics. Perhaps it’s due to animation that doesn’t set itself apart anywhere near as well as their stop-motion output. Those specials raised the bar in their respective medium, whereas Frosty barely touches it. However, it’s important to remember that Frosty pretty much provided template for a zillion other animated TV specials you hold dear today. So, if you haven’t see it, you don’t shit about Christmas specials, son!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Frosty the Snowman is available on numerous DVDs, and generally comes bundled with Frosty Returns as a bonus feature. I’d recommend people pick it up in The Original Christmas Classics on DVD or Blu-ray since they come with the phenomenal Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and more! Of course, you can also purchase the standalone Frosty DVD, as can Frosty’s Winter Wonderland, Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July, and The Legend of Frosty the Snowman, which all technically relate back to this Rankin/Bass original.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A DISNEY CHRISTMAS GIFT

2009′s Dec. 2nd  Special
THE SNOWMAN

SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN
Original air date: December 14, 1970

SYNOPSIS
A stop-motion Fred Astaire & Co. answer every question you never knew you had about Santa’s life story.

BACKSTORY
Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town was the fifth animated Christmas special produced by Rankin/Bass, and it marked a return to their characteristic stop-motion after the hand-drawn animation of Frosty the Snowman.  It features an animated Fred Astaire as our trusty narrator, as well as the voices of Mickey Rooney (as Kris Kringle), Keenan Wynn (as the Winter Warlock), and Rankin/Bass standby Paul Frees (as seemingly all of the remaining characters).

Santa Claus is loosely based on the 1934 song by Eddie Cantor, if by “based on” you mean “bearing the same name.” But it expands beyond the basic idea of the jolly old coot who sees you when you’re sleeping and knows when you’re awake, painting Kris Kringle as a fascism-fighting outlaw in an effort to explain the origins of many aspects of the legend of Santa Claus.

The trademark Rankin/Bass style is in top form, creating a charming and lively winter wonderland, and featuring several classic songs  sung by Astaire and beautifully scored by Maury Laws and Jules Bass himself.

Still, at the risk of stomping all over the toes of anyone who watched and loved this special as a child (or the President of the Mickey Rooney fan club), I’m just going to come right out and say it: the voice acting isn’t exactly Oscar material and the plot devices are more in-your-face than Courtney Love at an open bar, making the feature hard to take seriously enough to truly enjoy it.

Sorry to be such a party-pooper

The rights are owned by ABC Family and to this day it airs frequently on that channel, as well as on ABC itself.  Several notable scenes are frequently cut from those broadcasts, though – possibly in the interest of time, but more likely for reasons that will soon become clear.

BREAKDOWN
After a brief WWII-style newsreel broadcasting news of Christmas preparations the world over, we’re introduced to Special Delivery “S.D.” Kringle, the friendly postman to the North Pole who’s a dead-ringer for Fred Astaire.

Does this narrator look familiar?

How bout now?

S.D.’s truck has just broken down, so he does exactly what you know all postmen do for kicks: starts reading people’s mail.  He pulls a sampling of letters from a bunch of selfless nitwits who, instead of demanding that Santa bring them entire aisles from Toys ‘R’ Us, simply want to know how and why he came to be who he is today.

A waste of a stamp

And since ol’ Twinkle Toes is stuck in the middle of a wintry nowhere with a broken mail truck, patiently awaiting the mercy of death by either freezing or starvation, he’s only too willing to paint the entire, unsolicited, rags-to-riches story in painstaking detail.

You see, the man we now know as Santa Claus actually began life rather unglamorously as a foundling infant abandoned on the front stoop of the fun-hating (but deliciously named) mayor of Sombertown, Burgermeister Meisterburger.

Oh good – a baby.

Burg knows a money pit when he sees one, so he wastes no time in sending the child away to the nearest orphanage.

Pretty shrewd, for a fatty

Fate, though, has other plans, whisking the wee Claus’ conveyance away in the whispering winds to the, uh, Mountain of the Whispering Winds – range of the grim and territorial Winter Warlock.  Fortunately, a group of woodland creatures hide our hero from the Warlock’s spindly grasp and deposit him on the other side of the mountain in the Rainbow River Valley, home of a multi-generational family of toy-making elves known as the Kringles.

My worst nightmare

Matriarch Tanta Kringle takes the babe in and raises him as one of her own, christening him “Kris” and thus answering the first question that no one cares about: why is Santa called Kris Kringle?

Note that the special never addresses the one question on everyone’s minds: Santa is a ginger?

The Kringle family has been building toys for generations, all the way back to when they were the number one toymakers to the King of Sombertown, but in recent years the wrath of the Winter Warlock has left them and their playthings trapped in the Rainbow River Valley, where the toys simply build up, unused, in a pile outside the window (much to the chagrin of the Kringles).

Not cool, guys.

An overachieving teen aged Kris promises that one day when he’s old enough, he’ll cross the Mountain of the Whispering Winds himself and deliver the lonely toys to Sombertown.

“Well, what is a penguin doing in this special?”  We never quite figure that one out.

But just as that day arrives, Mayor Meisterburger takes an unceremonious tumble on an aptly placed wooden duck and promptly outlaws all toys.

Comic gold

Yeah…that’ll work

When Kris arrives to deliver his first round of goodies to Sombertown’s appreciative young-‘uns, he finds that he’s just made himself enemy- number-one of the state.

“We don’t want any”

Wrong answer, lady!

Thus begins probably the creepiest scene of the whole special (and there are many), as a toy-pushing Kris lecherously grabs a couple of the town’s children and launches into a song promising them that, “if you sit on my lap today, a kiss, a toy is the price you’ll pay,” followed by, “when you sit on my left knee, don’t be stingy, be prepared to pay.”  You can’t make this shit up.

“Atta boy, Johnny, right there…”

Thank you, lord!

Which leads us to a blatantly transparent back-and-forth between Kris and Burgermeister that elucidates every detail of Santa’s mythos at a level even a four-year-old could understand.  But just in case there are any three-year-olds in the audience, each revelation is also paired with explanatory narration by a real child, à la “so that’s why Santa wears a red suit!”  Duh.

“I’m a man, and a man should dress like one”

Anyway, Kris starts to make his way back across the Mountain of the Whispering Winds, only to be intercepted by a pissed-off Winter Warlock.

Who has two thumbs and doesn’t like visitors?

This toothy fiend has been disturbed for the last time, and he’s not going to let Kris escape, EVER…unless, of course, he were to be won over by some material goods.  Kris quickly forks over – I mean, presents him with – a wooden choo-choo, and the warlock’s icy exterior melts away (literally) into a warm puddle of what-can-i-do-ya-for.

“Well sure, I’ll throw my values out the window for a free tchotchke!”

Before Kris can count his blessings, though, Sombertown’s schoolteacher, Ms. Jessica, tracks him down to deliver some letters from the local tykes asking for, wouldn’t you know it, more toys!  (Ostensibly to replace all the ones that the mayor wasted no time in destroying…I’m so sure.)

“It’s just the funniest thing – one of the kids requested, um, one of those Hitachi Magic Wands…”

Pedo-Kringle tells Jessica to let the children know that if they leave their doors unlocked that night (so that’s why Santa comes at night!), he’ll sneak into their homes and personally make good on his earlier promise.  You know, to bring them some toys – why, what were you thinking?

This is almost too easy

But when Burgermeister discovers the new shipment of playthings in the morning, he orders all of the town’s doors locked.  Fortunately, creeper Kris finds a workaround by climbing in through the chimney and leaving even more toys at the foot of the mantle.  (So that’s why Santa comes down the chimney!)

Where there’s a will – or William, or Billy – there’s a way!

Still, an unrelenting Burg tries a new tactic: he commands his crew of doll-nazis to search every house for traces of any and all toys (including those that Sombertown’s denizens might be hiding, say, in their attics, or under their floorboards, or behind false walls) and arrest anyone housing them.

Pssst, Meisterburger – esents-pray, three o’clock.

Luckily, our quick-thinking star manages to disguise his wares by stuffing them in the stockings pinned above each family’s fireplace.  So that’s why Santa leaves us presents in our stockings!

“I’m having a good time…”

Finally, the slow-on-the-uptake Herr does what any Grinch worth his salt would have done in the first place – sets a trap and jails the entire lawbreaking Kringle clan.

“If loving children is wrong, then lock me up!”

The special then takes a turn for a trippy as Jessica launches into an acid-tinged ballad so strange it’s not worth describing, except to say that she realizes she’s in love with a certain Kringle and should probably get off her ass and do something.

I am a beautiful lioness…hear me roar!

So she gets a hold of one of Warlock’s last bits of sorcery (see, he lost most of his powers in a card game…or at least that’s what he’d have Mrs. Warlock believe): some magic feed corn.

Did somebody say “magic feed corn??”

When Jessica gives the corn to, oh, about eight of the neighborhood reindeer, they magically gain the gift of flight, alight to the jailhouse, and bust Kris and the rest of his commie friends out.

No, not this one – that’s another story, silly!

So that’s why Santa’s reindeer can fly!  Anything else you wanted to know?

Oh yeah, an on-the-lam Kris grows an Amish beard and changes his name to “Claus” to avoid being spotted by Herr Meisterburger, word spreads far and wide about the North Pole cash cow who can’t not give toys away, and Kris Claus decides that – hey! – if he’s going to be CEO of his own worldwide corporation, he may as well deliver gifts just one day a year and take the other 364 off. Which also explains how he goes from looking like this…

…to looking like this:

And then Jessica and Kris have a weirdo wedding where they for some reason give each other presents, wrapped and placed under decorated evergreens.

This is totally gonna catch on, I just know it.

Well, when you put it that way, it all makes perfect sense.

The punctured one is never mentioned by name, and the only reference to the fact that there might be a reason for the season beyond Santa and his giant sack comes as a seeming afterthought at the end, when our hand-holding narrator explains that Santa chose Christmas Eve to be his single night of gift-giving because it’s the holiest night of the year.  Which I guess means that Jesus may, in fact, be the only one more insulted by this special than I was.

Uh…yeah.  See above.

For as much as I’ve made fun of it, this thing really does have a lot of heartwarming holiday gumption, which is probably why it appears to be a lifelong favorite of many, many less-discerning reviewers.  Still, it couldn’t break through this hipster’s hard shell of irony and cynicism, so I can’t in good conscience give it more than three balls.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the Site!)

Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town is available on a single disc, standalone DVD but your best bet is to purchase it on The Original Christmas Classics boxed set, which also features Rankin/Bass classics like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman for just a few dollars more. Television broadcasts trim more and more from classics like this every year, so the DVD is your best method of preserving the version you remember. We’ve also included a link to Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town Christmas Ornaments, which should look classy hung upon even the dingiest Christmas Tree/Menora.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
THE BELLS OF FRAGGLE ROCK