Similar to what we did last year with the Top 25 Cartoon Christmas Trees, A Cartoon Christmas is letting you (AND ME!) skip the usual 1000+ words of grammatically defiant babble on this day of days, while still giving you the opportunity to look at some gorgeous animated imagery.

REAL SANTAS

1. “Classic Santa” from A Disney Christmas Gift

I forget who issued me the challenge, but it was this: Can you find 50 different pictures from cartoon Santas? Well, two years + one post a day, every day in December until Christmas = 50 posts… yeah, sounds easy enough.

2. “Party Santa” from The Snowman (buy it here)

But wait?! There ain’t no Santy Claws in Mickey’s Christmas Carol or A Charlie Brown Christmas! And a few days on the animated advent calendar over there on left are, debatebly, cop out entries… You know, I could do it if I can do cartoon approximations of Saint Nick (i.e. cartoons characters posing as Santa) in addition to the Real McDeal! And that’s how we’re going to break these down: Real and Fake Santas.

3. “Slow Santa” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

Both are just as fun to look at anyway, right? Oh, and keep an eye out for a third SUPER SECRET category if I can’t meet the numeric criteria.

4. “Magician Santa” from Frosty the Snowman (buy it here)

Please enjoy our last post on the 2010’s Animated Advent Calendar, and feel free to click on image/link to read more on about the special showcase.

5. “Stranded Santa” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

And if you feel like buying the DVD, please do it through the Amazon link provided. Doing so costs you nothing, but kicks a small percentage back to us, which helps keep the site up. Or at least we hope it will someday!

6. “Useless Santa” from The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann

7. “Second Banana Santa” from A Chipmunks Christmas (buy it here)

8. “Sickly Santa” from Christmas Comes to PacLand

9. “Recipient Santa” from A Johnny Bravo Christmas (buy it here)

10. “Shouldn’t Count Santa” from Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (buy it here)

11. “Skinny Santa” from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (buy it here)

12. “Donkey-Worshiping Santa” from Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey (buy it here)

13. “Massive Santa” from Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (buy it here)

14. “Writer Santa” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

15. “Stupid Santa” from Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (buy it here)

16. “Smokin’ Claus” from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (buy it here)

17. “Blink and you’ll miss ‘em Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

18. “Captive Santa” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

19. “Young Ginger Santa” from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (buy it here)

20. “Interstellar Santa” from George and the Christmas Star (buy it here)

21. “Sleepy Santa” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

22. “Stinky Santa” from Ren & Stimpy: Stimpy’s First Fart (buy it here)

FAKE SANTAS

23. “Robotnik Claus” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

24. “Opus Claus” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

25. “Kermit Claus” (no longer) from The Christmas Toy (buy it here)

26. “Funky Claus” from TaleSpin: A Molly Jolly Christmas (buy it here)

27. “Robot Holocaust Claus” from Batman: Christmas with The Joker (buy it here)

28. “Snoopy Claus” from It’s ChristmasTime Again, Charlie Brown (buy it here)

29. “Donald Claus” from Toy Tinkers (buy it here)

30. “Racist Claus” from Mickey’s Good Deed (buy it here)

31. “Claus of Doom” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

32. “Samson Claus” from A Very Venture Christmas (buy it here)

33. “Squidward Claus” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

34. “Taz Clauz” from Bugs Bunny Looney Christmas Tales (buy it here)

35. “Dale Claus” from Pluto’s Christmas Tree (buy it here)

36. “Goofy Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

37. “An Extremely Goofy Santa” Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

38. “Prince Adam Claus” from He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (buy it here)

39. “BBB Claus” from A Fat Albert Christmas (buy it here)

40. “Sad, Drunk Claus” from Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (buy it here)

41. “Extinct Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

42. “Dried Fruit Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

43. ” Doc Claus” from A Muppet Family Christmas

44. “Redemption Claus” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (buy it here)

YET TO BE COVERED SANTAS

45. “Pink Santa” from A Pink Christmas (buy it here)

46. “Worst 2010 Movie Star Santa” from Yogi’s First Christmas (buy it here)

47. “Nothing to Apologize for Santa” from Pee-Wee Herman’s Christmas Special (buy it here)

48. “Warner Santa” from Anamaniacs’ ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

49. “Ruckus Claus” from A Huey Freeman Christmas (buy it here)

50. “Robot Santa” from Futurama’s Xmas Story (buy it here)

Seriously, thanks to everyone for reading this stuff. Really means a lot. (Now go have a great Christmas!)

Yesterday we presented our favorites, now it’s time to make with last year’s very best bad!

5. Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

I always come off like a Disney fanboy, but the fact of the matter is that they’re just better with how they preserve and handle their animated characters. Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Carol is the perfect example of that. Not only is it the victim of horrible 70’s animation done on the cheap, outside of the Chuck Jones Road Runner portion, the whole special is pretty much a disgrace to the Warner Bros. animated legacy. I desperately desire more Xmas-themed Looney Tunes, but they’re a bit hard to find. And come on… just look at these screenshots, and you tell me how this stacks up to something like Mickey’s Christmas Carol.

4. Christmas Comes to Pacland

I might’ve been too harsh on the Pac-Man cartoon. In all fairness, it’s no worse than just about everything else Hanna-Barbera put out in the 70s and 80s. It adheres to the same wacky, mystery-solving formula, using tired gags and lame jokes, while doing its best to animate as little as possible. That makes Christmas Comes to Pacland understandable, although no less terrible. What I can’t forgive are the giant leaps in logic the special takes in order to put a first draft script on television screens. Plus, I’ve always found the fact that Pac-Man sounds like a phlegmmy, alcoholic bluesman with a three-pack-a-day habit supremely disturbing.

3. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus

As a lifelong gamer and fan of Mario, believe me when I say you’ll only be able to watch this special through the gapped fingers of a half-hour long face palm. The live action sequences are embarrassing enough, but the depths of idiocy found in the animated portions may send some into fits of violently primal nerd rage. Why is Mario dressed for a calypso vacation? Why is he using a whip? Why is the person who voiced Toad still allowed to walk amongst men? You’ll have to watch the special to find out, which I strongly advise against.

2. The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann and Andy

I love writing about obscure, forgotten Christmas specials featuring licensed characters of yore, but this was just depressing. To watch Chuck Jones, the mastermind behind How the Grinch Stole Christmas, derivatively breathe life into these utterly useless characters and come out with just under half a Christmas special will suck the soul from your body. As someone not born in the 1920s, maybe I just don’t care about these stupid dolls enough. But still… If Teddy Ruxpin were still clinging to a shred of relevance, and paid Ren & Stimpy’s John Kricfalusi enough to humiliate himself with a half-assed Christmas special starring plushy tape recorders, I’d be bitching up a storm too. Bleh…

1. He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special

It’s with great shame that I cop to being a diehard He-Man fan as a kid, yet it’s nothing compared to embarrassment everyone involved in this crossover Christmas special should feel. I’m not sure how Mattel got away with making daily commercials that were little more than an excuse to hurl new action figures at childrens’ eyeballs for 22 minutes… But having to watch a full hour of it, skinned in an idiotic Christmas shell brought about by two kids who get sucked into Eternia, should be sternly regulated by the FDA. I am sicker for having watched this

THE GREAT SANTA CAPER
Original Air Date: November 30, 1978

SYNOPSIS:
A highly derivative villain named Alexander Graham Wolf careens into the North Pole with a nefarious, capitalistic plan to monetize Christmas. Luckily, Comet the Reindeer catches wind of the plot and must employ the world’s only two heroes capable of putting a stop to it: Raggedy Anne and Andy?

BACKSTORY:
Look, I hate to knock such a beloved character just because I hail from a generation who only experienced the waning days of her 100 year popularity… but I’ve always thought Raggedy Ann was a creepy ghoul of a doll, and never understood her appeal.

Today, Raggedy Ann has been all but forgotten by just about everyone except shamelessly sexy Halloween costume manufacturers

If I sound too harsh, understand it’s only because I’ve never been able to bring it up until this very moment, since no one I’ve ever known has ever brought this 20th century relic up in conversation.

There isn’t a human alive left to tell you this, but Raggedy Ann is based on a popular book series started in 1918 by Johnny Gruelle

Still, we all caught glimpses of Raggedy Ann here and there while growing up. Unfortunately, I happen to associate her most as the centerpiece my Grandmother’s eerily immaculate retirement tomb. And although it’s hardly Raggedy Ann’s her fault that this thought also conjures the smell of urine, Fresca and death, but hey, it’s a packaged deal. But it’s not like we crossed paths enough for me to build any revulsion towards the lady.

Unlike more deserving characters Raggedy Ann and and have starred in both TV shows and film

After all, Raggedy Anne and her insipid TV show ran up against mind-blowing stuff like Muppet Babies, Ninja Turtles and The Smurfs in the fall of 1988, so we both could’ve gone the rest of our lives without running afoul of one another… That is, until I watched her abysmal special on a whim, The Great Santa Caper, and realized she went and dragged Chuck Jones into her irrelevant spiral! That I don’t forgive!

Say it ain’t so, Chuck…

Chuck Jones, the lauded animator who brought us cell and paint H-bombs like the Road Runner, Michigan J. Frog, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi and the phrase “Rabbit Season, Duck Season,” now has this frontier-era Barbie doll tarnishing his legacy.

Although, perhaps Rags isn’t entirely to blame… Jones did write this forgettable piece of Yule tide nonsense. I mean, to his credit How the Grinch Stole Christmas has remained a benchmark of animated Christmas specials, but to his discredit, this pathetic offering made 12 years later bears more than a passing resemblance to some his previous work.

Even if The Grinch and Alexander Graham Wolf don’t shop at the same sleigh dealership, they share a motive. Plus, he more than resembles a certain coyote

Or a sun bleached “Ralph Wolf” if you wanna be a dick about:

Alexander and Ralph share the same accent, nose color, and resemblance to Wile E. Coyote

Chalk this up to Jones being an old man well beyond his prime, but I’m thinking it has more to do with the utterly useless source material. The main problem with Raggedy Anne is that she never really does anything. I mean, what can she do, really?

Comet overhears Wolf’s monologue and rushes off to get help

Being the hottest holiday item during “A Very Turn of the Century Frontier Christmas” hardly qualifies her to roundhouse kick, call in an army of robots or crush the souls of her enemies with irrefutable logic puzzles. At best, she’s merely cute.

If you’re this terrified of reindeer, perhaps you’re not qualified to save Christmas?

So why exactly does Comet the Reindeer rush off to employ the services of Raggedy Anne and Andy to overthrow the plot of Alex G. Wolf? Purely on the basis – and these are her words (yes, Comet’s female, deal with it) – of needing someone who is “very light and can’t freeze.” Seriously? Mr. Maggo’s pretty short? Mighty Mouse is ridiculously strong AND protected by a layer of mammalian fur?

Lightweight heroes

If Comet had to bring in the grunts purely on the basis of what she alone  – a weightless reindeer! – can carry, I’d have to say Chilli Willy would’ve been way easier on the arches, and packs in up to x40 the cute factor. But since Raggedy Anne is the one writing the checks, she’s all Jones’s got to work with. (Unless you count Raggedy Arthur, a speechless hellhound, who astoundingly proves to be even more inconsequential than his owners.)

Santa appears briefly, but then goes to bed thinking everything is A’okay

My biggest problem with any Raggedy Ann adventure is that she rarely raises a finger to solve problems. The only ability she seems to posess is a knack for encountering people and things who can. Here’s Wolf’s plan: Shroud Christmas items in plexiglass in order to charge children for mint condition versions of the toys Santa delivers for FREE!

The capitalistic nerve?!

So once Raggedy Anne and Andy arrive at Santa’s toyshop, HOW do they go about foiling Mr. Wolf’s plot to permanently encase all toys in his proprietary cellophane shell, Gloopstick? They don’t…

Way to not go… clever girl

In one of biggest cop-outs since the “Thank Goodness it was only a dream!” ending, Raggedy Anne and Andy take a corrosive piss on the fourth wall, turn to the camera and demand, YOU, the television viewer, shout “LOVE” at the screen. For real?

Seriously

Thank God video games would come along and provide legitimate interactive entertainment

Presents are unlocked and Mr. Wolf learns he prefers loved to being hated, all before Santa could wake up and appear in his own “Caper.”

So much for the sequel

Meanwhile, the audience, whether they chose to yell at their screen like it was a Packers game or not, has grown either 80% dumber or irate at an adventure that barely started, middled or ended.

Bleh

None. Unless you’re a conspiratorial grad student who hasn’t watched enough television to better to intertwine “Christmas” and “Love” to Christ’s condemnation of material gain.

Minimal. He appears early on during Christmas Eve preparations, then more notably, sleeping with his reindeer… instead of Mrs. Claus?!

Oh, the implications!

One ball is awarded solely because I interpret the “Meaning of Christmas” as an excuse to let Chuck Jones work again. There’s a reason this thing isn’t available on DVD.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the site!)

Bittersweetly, The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann and Any is not available on DVD. While I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s still a shame for people who loved it to be without the option. However, you can pick up numerous DVDs that contain 3 or so episodes from the Saturday Morning TV series, and the dolls themselves are still for sale damn near everywhere.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
THE CHRISTMAS TOY