And it’s official! I don’t need to tell MiSTies that Shout Factory! has done a tremendous job on its DVD releases thus far, but with MST3K vs Gamera (out today!) they’ve truly outdone themselves…

Unlike the rather barebones Rhino DVD releases, Shout Factory! came out swinging with the 20th Anniversary set/Volume 13 set, effectively doubling the number of releases in all of three years, with collectible sets, figurines, custom-designed movie posters, and bonus features galore. But right outta the gate, what they’ve done with the MST3K vs Gamera set had me absolutely floored! There are no words for this caliber of awesomeness…

SWEET HOLY GOD! Normally I hate animated DVD menus, but damned it MST3K vs. Gamera’s DVD menu strike the epic tone from the start. It’s not just that the five Gamera episodes from season three are quintessentially synonymous with the series as a whole, but putting all five MiSTied Gamera movies out for commercial release was something fans were told would always be impossible.

You buy NOW!

Purchasing the rights to release these movies on DVD is always difficult, more so when the movie itself is popular. For instance, the final MST3K episode will probably never come out on DVD due to the movie, Danger Diabolik!, having a cult following and being owned and released by a bigass company like Paramount.)  It certainly didn’t help that Joel and the Bots mercilessly mocked the very-much-still-alive, American distributor of the Gamera films (Sandy Frank!) and the man has gone on record stating his distaste for their treatment.

But not only has Shout Factory! managed to pull off “the impossible,” they’ve done that shit right, with all five movies included inside a snazzy collector’s tin. For me it would’ve been enough just to own all the classic Gamera episodes (which is why I snatched up an advanced copy at Comic-Con) but they really went all out on the supplementals. You’ve got a Gamera history feature, a MST3K retrospective of Gamera, the Mike hosted MST Hour wraps, an interview with the effects artists The Chiodo Brothers, all the Japanese Gamera movie trailers, and more – making for over NINE HOURS of MST3K beauty. In short: MST3K vs Gamera is my DVD pick of the year!

Almost FIFTEEN years since the last episode aired, Rocko finally gets a “modern” DVD release…
You’d think if anybody’d be capable of keeping up with the times, it’d be the eternally youth-centered Nickelodeon. I’m not sure what the channel has against DVDs, but it seemingly gave up on Complete Season sets long ago, or possibly doesn’t care. The Spongebob Christmas disc I bought brand new late last year came with an insert prominently promoting it’s fucking VHS line! Nick’s stuck to those infuriating, price-gouging Volume sets, which constantly go out of print and feature a mish-mash of unrelated episodes. Shout Factory! to the rescue!

An unmistakable look and a true classic

Just in time for DVD’s near obsolescence (the show’s been previously available via Netflix Insta-Watch and through Amazon’s manufacture-on-demand service,) Filbert, Spunky, Heffer, the Bigheads, and Rocko’s tropical Seussian world are finally heading to fans in full Season One set on June 21st! Better still, you can currently preorder it Rocko’s Modern Life – Season 1 for $14.99?!?!? Looky at that fantastic cover art!

Gorgeous…

If you’re not familiar with Shout Factory!, they’re the distribution company seemingly committed to keeping my flames of nostalgia burning bright for all eternity, consistently releasing phenomenal DVD sets for stuff big companies don’t seem to want to bother with. Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario, MST3K, Transformers, Home Movies, and on the non-animated side, they’ve done a stellar job getting underrated shows like My So-Called Life and Freaks and Geeks to the audience they deserve.

Previously on A Cartoon Christmas…

It’s all part of a new partnership between Nickelodeon and Shout Factory!, which kicks off on May 17th, with a Wild Thornberrys – Season 1 set. I’ve been waiting for this for some time, since Rocko’s second season has a Christmas episode I’ve been dying to write up here, yet never been able to get a copy decent enough to pull images from. Now there’s hope! A physical release with a proper transfer is always preferable, which I’ll emphasize below in this shot I composited from A Spongebob Christmas, and I’ll even weave all this together with a bit of trivia: You know where Spongebob Squarepants creator Stephen Hillenberg and voice Tom Kenny both got their start in animation together? Rocko’s Modern Life, baby!

You’re welcome, internet!

Similar to what we did last year with the Top 25 Cartoon Christmas Trees, A Cartoon Christmas is letting you (AND ME!) skip the usual 1000+ words of grammatically defiant babble on this day of days, while still giving you the opportunity to look at some gorgeous animated imagery.

REAL SANTAS

1. “Classic Santa” from A Disney Christmas Gift

I forget who issued me the challenge, but it was this: Can you find 50 different pictures from cartoon Santas? Well, two years + one post a day, every day in December until Christmas = 50 posts… yeah, sounds easy enough.

2. “Party Santa” from The Snowman (buy it here)

But wait?! There ain’t no Santy Claws in Mickey’s Christmas Carol or A Charlie Brown Christmas! And a few days on the animated advent calendar over there on left are, debatebly, cop out entries… You know, I could do it if I can do cartoon approximations of Saint Nick (i.e. cartoons characters posing as Santa) in addition to the Real McDeal! And that’s how we’re going to break these down: Real and Fake Santas.

3. “Slow Santa” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

Both are just as fun to look at anyway, right? Oh, and keep an eye out for a third SUPER SECRET category if I can’t meet the numeric criteria.

4. “Magician Santa” from Frosty the Snowman (buy it here)

Please enjoy our last post on the 2010’s Animated Advent Calendar, and feel free to click on image/link to read more on about the special showcase.

5. “Stranded Santa” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

And if you feel like buying the DVD, please do it through the Amazon link provided. Doing so costs you nothing, but kicks a small percentage back to us, which helps keep the site up. Or at least we hope it will someday!

6. “Useless Santa” from The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann

7. “Second Banana Santa” from A Chipmunks Christmas (buy it here)

8. “Sickly Santa” from Christmas Comes to PacLand

9. “Recipient Santa” from A Johnny Bravo Christmas (buy it here)

10. “Shouldn’t Count Santa” from Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (buy it here)

11. “Skinny Santa” from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (buy it here)

12. “Donkey-Worshiping Santa” from Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey (buy it here)

13. “Massive Santa” from Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (buy it here)

14. “Writer Santa” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

15. “Stupid Santa” from Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (buy it here)

16. “Smokin’ Claus” from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (buy it here)

17. “Blink and you’ll miss ‘em Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

18. “Captive Santa” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

19. “Young Ginger Santa” from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (buy it here)

20. “Interstellar Santa” from George and the Christmas Star (buy it here)

21. “Sleepy Santa” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

22. “Stinky Santa” from Ren & Stimpy: Stimpy’s First Fart (buy it here)

FAKE SANTAS

23. “Robotnik Claus” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

24. “Opus Claus” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

25. “Kermit Claus” (no longer) from The Christmas Toy (buy it here)

26. “Funky Claus” from TaleSpin: A Molly Jolly Christmas (buy it here)

27. “Robot Holocaust Claus” from Batman: Christmas with The Joker (buy it here)

28. “Snoopy Claus” from It’s ChristmasTime Again, Charlie Brown (buy it here)

29. “Donald Claus” from Toy Tinkers (buy it here)

30. “Racist Claus” from Mickey’s Good Deed (buy it here)

31. “Claus of Doom” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

32. “Samson Claus” from A Very Venture Christmas (buy it here)

33. “Squidward Claus” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

34. “Taz Clauz” from Bugs Bunny Looney Christmas Tales (buy it here)

35. “Dale Claus” from Pluto’s Christmas Tree (buy it here)

36. “Goofy Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

37. “An Extremely Goofy Santa” Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

38. “Prince Adam Claus” from He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (buy it here)

39. “BBB Claus” from A Fat Albert Christmas (buy it here)

40. “Sad, Drunk Claus” from Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (buy it here)

41. “Extinct Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

42. “Dried Fruit Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

43. ” Doc Claus” from A Muppet Family Christmas

44. “Redemption Claus” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (buy it here)

YET TO BE COVERED SANTAS

45. “Pink Santa” from A Pink Christmas (buy it here)

46. “Worst 2010 Movie Star Santa” from Yogi’s First Christmas (buy it here)

47. “Nothing to Apologize for Santa” from Pee-Wee Herman’s Christmas Special (buy it here)

48. “Warner Santa” from Anamaniacs’ ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

49. “Ruckus Claus” from A Huey Freeman Christmas (buy it here)

50. “Robot Santa” from Futurama’s Xmas Story (buy it here)

Seriously, thanks to everyone for reading this stuff. Really means a lot. (Now go have a great Christmas!)

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000: SANTA CLAUS
Original Air Date: December 24, 1993

SYNOPSIS:
Just in time for the holidays, Mike and the Bots are forced to endure the most twisted version of Santa Claus the world has ever seen!

BACKSTORY:
Mystery Science Theater 3000 was the brainchild of magician/comedian Joel Hodgson in 1988. What began as two puppets and a man yelling improvised lines over full-length movies on a small Minnesota UHF station transformed into two puppets and a guy writing incredibly insightful and hilarious lines to yell over full-length movies on Comedy Central starting in 1989, and then on the Sci-Fi Channel from 1997 to its cancellation in 1999 (10 years ago?!)

MST3K ran for over a decade on multiple channels and in syndication, and even produced one theatrically released movie

The show maintains a large cult following, and DVDs of the hour-and-a-half episodes (cutting out the commercials) continue to trickle out on a semi-regular basis. The hold-up is due partly to the need to purchase the rights to an entire movie for each episode in addition to the cost of licensing the show. Fortunately for fans, in 2009 Shout Factory finally released the highly sought-after episode featuring the 1959 Mexican film Santa Claus.

While Santa Claus received a very limited theatrical release within the states, it’s grown into a cult classic all its own due to an extended life on television throughout the last 50 years, as well as an absurdly loose understanding of the legend of Santa Claus.

The now immortal “Patrick Swayze Christmas” from a previous MST3K Xmas

BREAKDOWN:
Yesterday’s special, It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown put me into a whole “Midwestern Christmas” vibe, and I figured I’d ride that crest into one of my favorite shows ever: MST3K. Hell, it’s kind of a twofer if you think about it. Bear with me, though… it gets a little nuts.

These jerks shot a guy into space to make him watch really bad movies

Okay, before the dozen or so of you reading this blog start yelling at me… I’m aware that this isn’t animated. But technically, neither are The Muppets, and you can be damn sure I’m going to write about them again. Besides, it’s good for my sanity during this ridiculous marathon of daily bloggage, and I had to figure out some way to watch the DVDs I preordered months ago.

Apparently, Gypsy had started knitting the sweater for Joel

Anyway, after belting out a Christmas carol that goes horribly, violently wrong, Mike and the bots exchange horrible gifts with one another.

There is no present worse than a savings bond

Things don’t fare much better for the Mads. TV’s Frank got his boss, Dr. Forrester, a necklace, and then even shaved his head. Unprepared, Dr. Forrester gives Frank an old savings bond made out to himself. They introduce the south-of-the-border Christmas film… and this is where things really get weird.

And I’m not talking about this

In the 1950’s, Mexico didn’t associate Christmas with Santa so much…

A gateway to horror

Whether this film was meant as a means of spreading the holiday (or Christianity) down Mexico way, or was simply a case of one country presenting another country’s culture as quaint folklore, I can’t be sure. But the result is one of the most warped and disturbing versions of Christmas, Santa Claus and the Holidays ever carried out by well-intentioned people.

This’ll all make sense in a second

In this version, Santa Claus lives in Outer Space

Post-Nothing Fantasia

Where he oversees the production of toys occurring in a place called “Toyland”

A Very Merry Sweatshop

And said toys are not made – day in and day out – by elves… but by children hailing from various nationalities.  Santa’s got child laborers from America:

Fine, we’re an easy target

Germany:

Okay… that’s a little racist

The “Orient”:

Full-fledged racism, nailed it

And even Africa:

WOW

And just when the film is done presenting stereotypes with the utmost of insensitivity, it introduces Satan.

Aww, Mexico! Don’t belittle our Devil too

Apparently, the Devil has assigned his best man, Pitch, the task of turning kids evil just in time for the merriest of holidays!

Psst… celebrate Kwanzaa

Meanwhile, we catch Santa as he literally watches over little boys and girls the world over. Hardly a mere voyeur, the big guy has an apparatus that lets him see into minds, dreams, and bedrooms…

Oh, it gets creepier

Wait for it…

Seriously, Santa? You could at least try and look less excited.

And the audience gets to revel in Santa’s hedonistic delight. Watch as a young “rich boy” dreams of exhuming his deadbeat parents from a pair of festive coffins, won’t you?

Hooray!

So while the Devil’s favorite minion is off invading the dreams of of preschoolers, let’s take a break for my favorite host segment of the whole piece. Because this time around, Mike and the bots exit the theater to rock the Satellite of Love to its foundation, courtesy of their new-age synth-ensemble, Santa Kläws!

“Are you ready to be merry!?”

Do they, in fact, rock?

Oh, yes indeed

Now, nothing against the host segments here  – they’re fine and the riffing is just above average.  But the film itself is by far the star of this particular episode. I can’t recommend watching Santa Claus and it’s utterly bizarre interpretation of Christmas enough.

Just another day with the Devil

It’s one of those movies you might’ve heard about and always meant to watch, but lord knows I’d never get around to doing if not for the added draw of running commentary from a couple of robots.

“Kill Me!”

Did you know Santa’s reindeer are white, crank-activated, creepy as all hell, and turn to dust if they don’t return to outer space by sun-up Christmas Day?

It’s a fact! (in Mexico.)

And how familiar are you with Santa’s technique for navigating the world’s households unseen?

A rope ladder, it’s so simple

Or did you know that he has a flower that makes him invisible? What about the magic powder he blows in the faces of woken children to knock them back to sleep?

Even inattentive parents will know Santa’s poison

SO, the devil continues to possess the minds of Spanish-speaking North Americans and still finds the time to sabotage Santa’s sleigh and its arsenal of dirty Christmas tricks…

If you don’t have a kid to force through this film, rent one

However, the demon’s final masterstroke proves to be his greatest: getting a dog to chase Santa up a tree.

Christmas better have a Plan B

With nothing left in his bag of tricks, the devil provokes the home’s residents into arming themselves – with guns! – and slaying Santa as if he were a dangerous intruder.

“But honey, I need these bullets for bullfighting”

Santa reaches out to his only remaining life line and calls out to the North Po…I mean, Galactic Headquarters! And what valiant hero heeds the call? Is it Jack Frost? Mrs. Claus? How about one of his many indentured children? None of the above…

Why it’s Merlin, of course

The Arthurian legend acts fast (for a man centuries old) and tells Santa to reach into his sack and pull out a stuffed cat to distract the dog long enough to make his escape. Christmas is saved, evil is punished, and all viewers under the age of 10 are scarred for life.

This picture is 1080p, so any dust or hair you perceive is the fault of your monitor

But it’s not like MST to end on a down note, heavens no. Borrowing the liberties taken with the film, a light snow falls on the Satellite of Love.

A rare moment of gravity and weather

And that’s not all! Pitch the Demon stops by for a visit to Deep 13 and is confronted by none other than Santa Claus, to deliver the fightin’ finale the film never did.

Will the Devil get his due?! Who cares, it’s a comedy!

Santa does mention The Lord Jesus Christ a single time, although I can’t be entirely certain it wasn’t a mistranslation of “Merlin.” But there can’t be a Devil without a Jesus, right? So, I’m awarding one cross for that, another for the nativity scene Santa fixes at the beginning, and the last for the following ending screen:

It’s that simple

SANTA’S METER OVERFLOWETH! I dare say there’s too much Santa in this movie… I know I certainly could’ve done with less.

Hanukkah Harry would be ashamed

Again, there’s just this “Gee, Gosh, shucks, it’s Christmastime dontcha know?” quality to both MST3K and the Peanuts special that makes me warm all over. It playfully mixes in the sweet with the cynical, and I can’t really imagine that ever becoming any less timeless.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the site!)

Santa Claus is available on DVD in the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume 16 box set, which also includes a personal favorite of mine, Warrior of the Lost World, and a kickass Tom Servo bust! If you’re bold enough to go Santa Claus alone, you can also purchase a bare-bones, bot-less version at your own personal risk. The immortal MST3K “Patrick Swayze Christmas” song appears in the episode Santa Claus Conquer the Martians, which is available in the Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Essentials collection, on a double bill with Manos: The Hands of Fate. You can’t go wrong with that disc, trust me.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
IT’S CHRISTMASTIME AGAIN, CHARLIE BROWN