JOHN DENVER & THE MUPPETS: A CHRISTMAS TOGETHER
Orignal Air Date: December 5, 1979

Famous felt and folk singer join forces to croon about the Holidays…

BACKSTORY

John Denver only appeared on The Muppet Show once in 1979, but he’s got far more history with Kermit and company that. That same year, The Muppets were on top of the world. The Muppet Movie had come out, and along with Sesame Street, Jim Henson couldn’t clear enough space on his mantle for all the Grammys he was winning each year.

Brought to you by Dr. Pepper and Du Pont

Meanwhile, John Denver spent most almost the entire seventies producing crossover hits like “Thank God I’m Country Boy” and “Rocky Mountain High.”

The LP unfolded

Whether due to lucky happenstance, or their similar interest in folksy, old-timey, feel-good music, The Muppets and John Denver teamed up for an album and Christmas special in December of that year. The venture was quite successful, and lead to another collaboration in 1983 with John Denver and The Muppets: Rocky Mountain Holiday.

John Denver at the 1983 Grammys performing with Floyd

BREAKDOWN

How’d I do up there? Christ, this was a difficult special to write up, because A) it barely exists anymore, and B) there’s almost no information on just how the hell it came to be. Not only has John Denver and The Muppet: A Christmas Together never been released on DVD, there was never even a VHS!

Part 1: “The Twelve Days of Christmas“

Should you want to see this special, bootlegged TV tapings of yore are you ONLY option. Obviously, this presented bot a problem, yet it also presented a solution for me. Given the quality of the video out there, how was this little Xmas blog supposed to grab the several dozen screen grabs required for our typical post? Screw it: VIDEO!

Part 2: “The Pleasure of Your Company“

And since not only has no one involved project bothered to curate or even solve the problems involving a release for John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together, I figured I’d get to the bottom of WHY using the only internet tool I have: YouTube. I uploaded the special to my account broken down by song, then wait and see if any copyright holders flagged the video. And sure enough they did!

Part 3: “Alfie: The Christmas Tree” and “We Can All Know Everything“

Starting with this clip – Journalism! Either the “Alfie: The Christmas Tree” poem or Denver’s brief rendition of “We Can All Know Everything” instantly incurred the wrath of the purveyors at Warner Chapell. That means the video above may not appear, or have an ad I don;t personally profit from (RAGE!) Although… I can’t imagine for the life of me why. I know my Xmas music, but I’ve never heard either jam before. Furthermore, I imagine those who are elderly enough to be familiar with it are probably too old to know how to use the internet. Who ya fighting, Warner?

Part 4: “The Christmas Wish“

I dunno, that’s just something that gets to me. With so little money left to be made with physical media, I can’t see why you put up so many barriers to access content like this. Anyone with a remote interest in seeing – or paying for! - John Denver & The Muppets should be granted access. The Muppets may be on an upswing, and/or a bit of a hipster renaissance, but I can’t imagine the young folk having the patience for a special like this.

Part 5: “Christmas is Coming” and “A Baby Just Like You“

DAMMIT! Here’s another video flagged, and thus responsible for the lack of a proper DVD release. And just who is the stalwart company halting the release of the most wholesome piece of entertainment on the planet? Music Publishing Rights Collecting Society… WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

Part 6: “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas“

I suppose what I’m saying is there’s no level of Muppet fan swell that’ll ever get this thing back into living rooms by any conventional means. For one, it’s one of those slooooooooooooow, old-timey Christmas specials, where nothing ever happens that isn’t a bridge to a musical number. Sure, Miss Piggy gives Kermit the boot (offscreen) and sets her loins (lol) on Denver, but even that is to establish the ultra-bizarre Tin Soldier sequence, which is feels more like something that was produced in the  1950s.

Part 7: “The Peace Carol” and “Silent Night“

And there we have it. The final musical number, once again beholden to Warner Chapell music. Which song would that be “The Peace Carol” or “Silent Night” medley?! Surely, the WB doesn’t own the rights to the story of Jesus Denver tells?!?!? Whatever. I move that if you use the word “Carol” in the title of your song, it’s thereby free to the world. Public Domain. Or at least Netflix. Hope you’ve enjoyed this “departure” article. We’re gonna have plenty of photosplosion pieces this year, as well as a couple of slightly different things to look forward to. In other words: I’m sorry, come back!

Ding-Ding-Ding — BIG TIME! Witnessing the story of the baby manger/Bethlehem/Christian bedtime story is acted out with Muppets is one of the most wildly unnerving things I’ve ever laid eyes on. I honestly reccomend viewing the special just to see a Jesus Christ puppet constructed by Jim Henson.

JESUS CHRIST!

Surprisingly little Santa, other than a hat or two, which felt incredibly bizarre to me. At first I figured it was because those hipy-dippy Muppet folk wanted to keep things nondenominational. SEE THE ABOVE.

Very warm, traditional, and… fine. It’s just fine. However, the sing-songy variety format is so much of a completely different era, I doubt kids would see it anything but a overwrought parody. What am I saying? I was bored by it, and I’ve been around for decades! I’d like to think I spent so much time bitching above on behalf of the older folks out there, those who’d be genuinely moved by the chance to rewatch John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together but will never be afforded the means… but it’s more likely due to watching a cultural milestone like this fall out of the public consciousness forever, and that makes me incredibly depressed. Selfishness! Either way, if you’d like to watch a slow-moving Christmas special featuring The Muppets singing into the camera, there are better options out there.

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If you want to give the gift of John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together to someone in your life who’d most appreciate it, good goddamned luck! I’m afraid you’re going to have to show Grandma how to use Bittorrent. And after that, I doubt she’ll mind the VHS traking errors one bit. However, The album based on the special is plentifully available in numerous forms and re-issues, featuring extra song that just so happen to include “When The River Meets the Sea” from the unbelievably fantastic Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas! Oh, and hipster mecca, Urban Outfitters, has repressed a vinyl version of the album featuring a LP of glorious “Kermit Green” that I’ll probably fail to resist.

2010′s Dec. 1 Christmas Special
A DISNEY CHRISTMAS GIFT

2009′s Dec. 2nd  Special
THE SNOWMAN

Like Green Lantern references? Then you’re gonna love this new Muppet movie teaser! More kickass The Muppets trailers below…

Good God, I’m so proud of how well Disney is marketing the new Muppet movie! Not only does today’s trailer spoof the upcoming, heavy-handedness of DC’s latest comic adaptation, it pokes fun at it’s own promotional insecurity. Thus far, teasers and trailers for The Muppets haven’t revealed much of anything as far as plot details go, and instead have taken a much sillier road. I can’t imagine what it must of been like to see the trailer below in theaters with no warning that it was related to a film starring the world’s most famous puppets.

The trailer plays for almost a minute as a typical Hollywood RomCom of the shittiest caliber – then BOOM! – Miss Piggy! But that’s what the Muppets do best: Send up popular culture. I’m not a fan of Kermit and Co. being shoehorned into classical adaptations such as Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island, etc., and I’ve quite controversially (for this site, anyway) gone on record stating my distaste for wasting these characters on cliches and Holiday standards. When you do that, The Muppets become standard.

And they’re not! The Muppets are a reactive force against modern entertainment, with an added mix of earnest heart and adorable failure. I love these trailers. Muppet Studios has done a sensational job in keeping with the true spirit of these characters in general, and the movie’s marketing is doing an equally fantastic job towards setting up these sincere showmen with tongue-in-cheek expectations they can’t possibly live up to. After all, The Muppets just want to put on a show for the nice people, only to be kicked in the ass by the pitfalls of the entertainment industry. Or at least, that’s The Muppets to me anyway…

Oh, those legs

A MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: December 16, 1987

SYNOPSIS:
Nearly every Muppet ever created comes together under one roof for a very cliched Christmas.

BACKSTORY:
In case you didn’t already know, the word “Muppet” is a hybrid of the words “marionette” and “puppet,” and should instantly conjure images a man named Jim Henson, and the brightly-colored cloth creations he gave to the world.

Early versions of Rowlf, Kermit, and Jim Henson

It’s hard to nail down when exactly what we now know as “The Muppets” first started. A barely-recognizable version of Kermit was seen on a Washington D.C. NBC affiliate as far back as 1955, on Henson’s first show Sam and Friends. However, Rowlf the piano-playing dog was the first to gain stardom, thanks to his popular appearances in Purina dog food commercials and on The Jimmy Dean Show in 1963. Sesame Street began airing in 1969, although without any of the characters, aside from Kermit, that we associate with The Muppet Show, which came seven years later.

See Gobo back there?

None of that’s important, anyway. The fact remains that A Muppet Family Christmas is the culmination of Henson’s unprecedented success. With at least four separate Muppeted shows airing on television simultaneously, this Christmas special is the one and only occasion when the stars of all of them came together in a single production.

Unfortunately, no official uncut version of the program is available for sale, and likely never will be. Several songs licensed only for television are presented, and The Jim Henson Company currently retains rights to only the Fraggles, with Sesame Street owned by The Children’s Television Workshop and The Muppets now being the property of Disney. Television is the only place you can hope to see the special in its entirety, yet the broadcast version, too, has seen many cuts over the years – due to remastering, added footage and extended commercial breaks.

BREAKDOWN:
You know those Christmas special parodies where celebrities find an excuse to stop by a snowed in cabin just to sing songs? I’m too young to be entirely sure of what exactly they’re sending up, aside from some vague notion of Dean Martin or Andy Williams doing something to that effect years before I was born.

Fozzie, quite rudely, brings the entire cast of The Muppet Show over for Christmas at his mother’s without so much as calling ahead

Stephen Colbert did one last year. Shit, I just made one too, which is a pretty good indication that spoofing that Old-Timey Christmas special is no longer even remotely clever. If that’s the case, Jim Henson studios didn’t get the memo.

Fraggle Rock’s Doc and Sprocket have rented a room in the hopes of finding some holiday peace and quiet

I know I’ve said the same about adapting A Christmas Carol, but as far as Christmas specials go, the singing-cameo formula is definitely the bare minimum you can do creatively. Especially when it’s done straight-faced, without a hint of irony. So keeping in mind that this came from the people responsible for some of the greatest Holiday specials ever made, yes, A Muppet Family Christmas is a bit of a letdown.

Miss Piggy is held up by a photo shoot

It wouldn’t say it flat-out sucks, mind you. But while I certainly remember looking forward to each and every airing as a kid, I also remember boredom setting in within minutes.

Gonzo tips a turkey off about Swedish Chef’s plans to cook him

Of course, I have a slightly different appreciation for it now. I’d grown up with these colorful characters. Even my parents liked the Muppets, or at least had some history with them and found them more tolerable than the majority of the 80’s children’s entertainment cesspool.

Fraggle Rock is located under Mama Fozzie’s house apparently…who knew?

That kind of universal appeal is a remarkable feat in and of itself, but the sheer number of shows Henson had concurrently running on television is nothing short of astounding.

One of many momentous meetings

Sesame Street was still a revered standard. Fraggle Rock was popular enough in 1987 to receive a (horrible) animated spin-off series. Muppets Take Manhattan had been well received in theaters, and Ted Turner was about to launch TNT on a sturdy backbone of Muppet Show reruns. And Muppet Babies was in the middle of an outrageously popular six-year streak, having just been extended to 90 minutes on CBS Saturday mornings.

The gang watches a home movie starring the live-action Muppet Babies from Muppets Take Manhattan, on which the cartoon series was based

And A Muppet Family Christmas was to be the instance where they’d all appear in the same place, at the same time, for the first time ever!!! “HOLY SHIT!” exclaimed my prepubescent brain, “Oh, man… I wonder what they’ll say to one another… what kind of adventures they’ll have?!”

Electric Mayhem’s performance of “Jingle Bell Rock” is a triple-edged sword

Well… they’ll just be singing songs, apparently.

Even more bad comedy would’ve been nice

Not that there’s anything wrong with a Holiday song showcase, even if it’s not my cup of tea. But when you look at the Christmas specials that have become Holiday standards, none of them revolve around the sole act of singing classic Christmas songs (fortunately).

Gonzo and the Jive Turkey square off for the affections of Camilla

For example, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was based off of that titular Johnny Marks song, and Marks still wrote new songs for that special that would go on to become cherished standards. Even Henson’s other Christmas specials featured numerous original tunes, one of which is reprised here!

The Sesame Street gang shows up a’Carolin’

It’s undeniable that by Emmet Otter and Christmas Toy standards, and so A Muppet Family Christmas is pretty damned dull and uninspired by comparison. It’s not that the songs are bad… they’re just way too abundant. There’s very little dialogue, almost no attempt at comedy, and as you can see, the whole shebang is easily summed up in screen shots alone.

Doc is informed that his name starts with the letter ‘D’

I don’t mean to downplay the feat of assembling all the Muppets in a single room. That’s why I’m showcasing the special in the first place: I recognize that this gathering of epic proportions is truly a resplendent spectacle to behold.

The Turkey convinces Chef to cook a bigger bird…

The internets thought this joke was hilarious, even though Henson did it twenty years ago

I’m a giant Muppet dork and I can name at least a hundred characters who appear here just off the top of my head. So, I can only imagine a substantial part of the budget went into the feat of puppeteering all of these beloved creatures at once…

Kings of refuse

Because it certainly didn’t go into the writing. That’s part of what pisses me off about the special to begin with…

Snowed-in guests from Sesame Street perform “Twas the Night Before Christmas” as payment for their stay

Many notable characters never do, or say, anything. Granted, Elmo wasn’t yet the shining star of Sesame Street, but he’s completely silent in the two versions I’ve watched.

TRIVIA! The Elmo puppet has been around since the early 70′s, although he was referred to as “Baby Monster” until 1980. Four years later, Elmo was given his distinctive voice by Kevin Clash, and he’s gone on to become one of the most prolific Muppets of all time. In A Muppet Family Christmas, he never says a word.

Multiple versions, you say? Oh yeah… I won’t fault Henson for the lack of foresight into licensing music rights for home video, but it infuriates me that the very element that brought down the entire special, is also what made a definitive version unattainable.

Last Muppets Standing

Reportedly, no version of Muppet Family Christmas ever available for sale has been presented uncut.  Renewing the rights to many of the songs proved too expensive beyond television – the only place where the special can be shown in its entirety and still isn’t due to longer commercial breaks! – so there were almost literally dozens of truncated Muppet Family Christmas DVDs available in numerous territories with distinctly different edits.

Almost the entire Muppet Babies sequence is cut from the DVD due to music rights

Not that this matters anymore anyway… A Muppet Family Christmas has been discontinued on DVD and will most likely never be available to own again in any capacity. So, while I actually do believe Sesame Street and The Muppets are in good hands with their respective new owners, I sense something a little shadier in afoot here…

Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em

Given the time frame, Jim Henson was certainly in negotiations with Disney to acquire the Muppets at the time that A Muppet Family Christmas was created… And the special certainly reeks of something hastily assembled. So I’d speculate that it may have been made because many of the characters had a price tag on their heads and Henson knew this was probably his last chance to cash in on an epic crossover to end all crossovers.

Creepy: Kermit and Disney CEO Michael Eisner introduced A Muppet Family Christmas‘s rebroadcast on The Magical World of Disney in 1989

But with The Muppets’ recent YouTube resurgence, I can’t imagine A Muppet Family Christmas is something a fan would ever want to be without. And as I sat through the final third of the special – almost 15 minutes of uninterrupted singing – I couldn’t help but get a little irritated. The fact that it ends with a roomful of the greatest characters ever created wishing me a “Merry Christmas” for the fiftieth time was little consolation.

Christ, we get it! Stop singing already!

Cheating! But there’s one appearance by a life-giving bearded man whom I absolutely worship… and his final words are immensely touching.

“They certainly look like they’re having a good time out there… I like it when they have a good time.” – H.

Doc enters the house dressed as Santa briefly at the end (even though he was seen inside a second ago, during the previous scene, wearing plain clothes). Maybe my memory’s a little fuzzy, but now that I think of it, I can’t remember any Muppet Christmas specials featuring an appearance by the actual Santa Claus. Can you? Comment below!

“Santa cares not for your earthly continuity!”

How could I rate it any lower? There’s a shitload of Muppets here! That alone has to be worth something, if for no other reason than it’ll undoubtedly never happen again. While it can’t be denied that A Muppet Family Christmas is representative of a” warm seasonal feeling” under the strictest sense of the definition, this was never the program I wanted to see. Coming from a studio that brought us some of the the funniest, most heartwarming and most enduring Christmas specials known to man, the fact that such a monumental assemblage of its entire legacy failed to live up to its own standards is a sad one indeed.

It’s still worth checking out, though, and if you’re really in to Christmas songs, it could earn some repeated play on your television. Oh, wait! No it can’t, since you’re practically required to watch it in stolen internet bootlegs for the foreseeable future… *sigh*

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A Muppet Family Christmas has been discontinued on DVD the world over, due mostly to Disney’s acquisition of the majority of the characters.  However, you can find a used/new copy on Amazon for a substantial mark up, and I believe there’s a Google ad on the right side of this very page that links to a legitimate retailer selling off the old stock. Needless to say, if you see a copy out in the wild, snatch it up immediately: It will be worth hella money!

As far as Muppety Christmases go, you could do a helluva a lot worse than A Muppet Christmas Carol, which features all of the characters you know and love in a much better production, as well as a feature-length commentary from Jim Henson’s son, Brian. I haven’t seen the newer made-for-TV Muppet specials, so I’m just going to make a personal recommendation instead. I’d have to go with The Christmas Toy (which was incidentally included on the UK version of the  Muppet Family Christmas DVD as a bonus feature!) just slightly over Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas, but you could also save yourself a chunk of change and just buy both in a cheap-ass bundle!

Yesterday’s Christmas Special:
MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL