With nearly the entire internet devoid of Emmet Otter music and video, we present a legally irresponsible solution! Finally: Listen and Download all the timeless songs you love from Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas…

[I'm republishing this piece from January since not a lot of people saw it, and more importantly, Emmet Otter and The Christmas Toy are now on Netflix Watch Now. WATCH NOW!]

Last years’ Emmet Otter Jug-Band Christmas article was, by far, the most difficult one for me to write. Although the truncated piece finally debuted on December 15th, it was actually the first special I’d watched in preparation to write up weeks before hand. I fell so batshit in love with the Jim Henson classic, forming coherent thoughts about singing puppets became my own personal Amadeus.

Emmet Otter – Intro (right click/save)

Obviously, part of that struggle came from the ridiculously amazing songs by Paul Williams. Even those with the vaguest familiarity with Christmas Special tend to remember at least a lyric or two, right? Remember that hole-less Washtub?

Emmet Otter – The One Bathing Suit (right click/save)

Now, I’m no music critic… and sure, I almost definitely lack the vocabulary to do the songs justice in prose. But most importantly, I also find most writings of that nature tedious and boring, with too much of the author’s personal baggage projected onto a medium most people enjoy on a indescribable, subjective level.

Emmet Otter – Ain’t no Hole in the Washtub (right click/save)

Instead, I really wanted to let you guys HEAR the music of Emmet Otter, for no better reason than they’re unforgettably awesome. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to exist ANYWHERE!

Emmet Otter – When the River Meets the Sea (right click/save)

Through all my research, I found no evidence of any official soundtrack ever, let alone MP3s available for purchase. Plus, YouTube/Henson/Lionsgate/Whomever holds the current rights continuously blocked my attempts to share them with you, which led to further delays.

Emmet Otter – Barbeque (right click/save)

(Oh, I also did my damnedest to find the special’s original air date, which included looking through archived print TV schedules from 1977 with no success. If anybody knows, please pass that info along!)

Emmet Otter – Our World (right click/save)

The stage play and the DVD are virtually the only mediums keeping Emmet Otter’s music alive. And although they both do a great job in preserving the magic, I wanted to make a few of my favorite cuts available for folks who don’t listen to music exclusively through their DVD player or by visiting seasonal theatrical production solely showing in a remote part of the United States (This ain’t 1970, dammit!)

Emmet Otter – Brothers (right click/save)

I don’t maintain any ownership over these tracks, and post them in lieu of NO OTHER OPTION. Should there ever be an official soundtrack release, I’ll remove these tracks post haste.

Emmet Otter – Riverbottom Nightmare Band (right click/save)

And if any of Emmet Otter’s owners/rights holders take issue, let’s try and avoid the lawyers and Internet Police and just please contact me here and I’ll remove do so immediately.

Emmet Otter – Brothers in Our World (right click/save)

Incidentally, that header image at the top is from the original VHS release of Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas (With Kermit! You can see it in the article.) But I’ve also taken the liberty of adding that as the album art for all of the MP3s on this page. Thought it be a nice treat to see on your iPods and such… you don’t have to thank me.

Emmet Otter – When the River Meets the Sea (credits) (right click/save)

UPDATE: According to my research, only the song “When the River Meets the Sea” has ever been made commercially available, on Volume 2 of the Favorite Songs From Jim Henson’s Muppets record released in 1986. Glad I looked into it – this may very well be the greatest album covers of all time:

Four Muppet factions featured together in a single product… remind anyone else of A Muppet Family Christmas?

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas is available on DVD, albeit with the Kermit footage completely removed. However, the special contains several short sequences that haven’t appeared on other home video releases, and any scene missing is available to watch in the ample bonus features which include a behind-the-scenes documentary and the Outakes video embedded above. Assuming you’re willing to take a chance on Otter, I strongly encourage – no… I beg you, to pick up the version bundled with Jim Henson’s equally stellar Holiday special, The Christmas Toy for just a few pennies more. Oh, and before you go and call Disney mean names for not allowing Kermit to appear in Emmet Otter, I invite you to see what the previous, out-of-print versions featuring the famous Frog are going for on the Amazon Marketplace. You’ll get an idea of what he’s worth.

JOHN DENVER & THE MUPPETS: A CHRISTMAS TOGETHER
Orignal Air Date: December 5, 1979

Famous felt and folk singer join forces to croon about the Holidays…

BACKSTORY

John Denver only appeared on The Muppet Show once in 1979, but he’s got far more history with Kermit and company that. That same year, The Muppets were on top of the world. The Muppet Movie had come out, and along with Sesame Street, Jim Henson couldn’t clear enough space on his mantle for all the Grammys he was winning each year.

Brought to you by Dr. Pepper and Du Pont

Meanwhile, John Denver spent most almost the entire seventies producing crossover hits like “Thank God I’m Country Boy” and “Rocky Mountain High.”

The LP unfolded

Whether due to lucky happenstance, or their similar interest in folksy, old-timey, feel-good music, The Muppets and John Denver teamed up for an album and Christmas special in December of that year. The venture was quite successful, and lead to another collaboration in 1983 with John Denver and The Muppets: Rocky Mountain Holiday.

John Denver at the 1983 Grammys performing with Floyd

BREAKDOWN

How’d I do up there? Christ, this was a difficult special to write up, because A) it barely exists anymore, and B) there’s almost no information on just how the hell it came to be. Not only has John Denver and The Muppet: A Christmas Together never been released on DVD, there was never even a VHS!

Part 1: “The Twelve Days of Christmas“

Should you want to see this special, bootlegged TV tapings of yore are you ONLY option. Obviously, this presented bot a problem, yet it also presented a solution for me. Given the quality of the video out there, how was this little Xmas blog supposed to grab the several dozen screen grabs required for our typical post? Screw it: VIDEO!

Part 2: “The Pleasure of Your Company“

And since not only has no one involved project bothered to curate or even solve the problems involving a release for John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together, I figured I’d get to the bottom of WHY using the only internet tool I have: YouTube. I uploaded the special to my account broken down by song, then wait and see if any copyright holders flagged the video. And sure enough they did!

Part 3: “Alfie: The Christmas Tree” and “We Can All Know Everything“

Starting with this clip – Journalism! Either the “Alfie: The Christmas Tree” poem or Denver’s brief rendition of “We Can All Know Everything” instantly incurred the wrath of the purveyors at Warner Chapell. That means the video above may not appear, or have an ad I don;t personally profit from (RAGE!) Although… I can’t imagine for the life of me why. I know my Xmas music, but I’ve never heard either jam before. Furthermore, I imagine those who are elderly enough to be familiar with it are probably too old to know how to use the internet. Who ya fighting, Warner?

Part 4: “The Christmas Wish“

I dunno, that’s just something that gets to me. With so little money left to be made with physical media, I can’t see why you put up so many barriers to access content like this. Anyone with a remote interest in seeing – or paying for! - John Denver & The Muppets should be granted access. The Muppets may be on an upswing, and/or a bit of a hipster renaissance, but I can’t imagine the young folk having the patience for a special like this.

Part 5: “Christmas is Coming” and “A Baby Just Like You“

DAMMIT! Here’s another video flagged, and thus responsible for the lack of a proper DVD release. And just who is the stalwart company halting the release of the most wholesome piece of entertainment on the planet? Music Publishing Rights Collecting Society… WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!

Part 6: “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas“

I suppose what I’m saying is there’s no level of Muppet fan swell that’ll ever get this thing back into living rooms by any conventional means. For one, it’s one of those slooooooooooooow, old-timey Christmas specials, where nothing ever happens that isn’t a bridge to a musical number. Sure, Miss Piggy gives Kermit the boot (offscreen) and sets her loins (lol) on Denver, but even that is to establish the ultra-bizarre Tin Soldier sequence, which is feels more like something that was produced in the  1950s.

Part 7: “The Peace Carol” and “Silent Night“

And there we have it. The final musical number, once again beholden to Warner Chapell music. Which song would that be “The Peace Carol” or “Silent Night” medley?! Surely, the WB doesn’t own the rights to the story of Jesus Denver tells?!?!? Whatever. I move that if you use the word “Carol” in the title of your song, it’s thereby free to the world. Public Domain. Or at least Netflix. Hope you’ve enjoyed this “departure” article. We’re gonna have plenty of photosplosion pieces this year, as well as a couple of slightly different things to look forward to. In other words: I’m sorry, come back!

Ding-Ding-Ding — BIG TIME! Witnessing the story of the baby manger/Bethlehem/Christian bedtime story is acted out with Muppets is one of the most wildly unnerving things I’ve ever laid eyes on. I honestly reccomend viewing the special just to see a Jesus Christ puppet constructed by Jim Henson.

JESUS CHRIST!

Surprisingly little Santa, other than a hat or two, which felt incredibly bizarre to me. At first I figured it was because those hipy-dippy Muppet folk wanted to keep things nondenominational. SEE THE ABOVE.

Very warm, traditional, and… fine. It’s just fine. However, the sing-songy variety format is so much of a completely different era, I doubt kids would see it anything but a overwrought parody. What am I saying? I was bored by it, and I’ve been around for decades! I’d like to think I spent so much time bitching above on behalf of the older folks out there, those who’d be genuinely moved by the chance to rewatch John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together but will never be afforded the means… but it’s more likely due to watching a cultural milestone like this fall out of the public consciousness forever, and that makes me incredibly depressed. Selfishness! Either way, if you’d like to watch a slow-moving Christmas special featuring The Muppets singing into the camera, there are better options out there.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

If you want to give the gift of John Denver & The Muppets: A Christmas Together to someone in your life who’d most appreciate it, good goddamned luck! I’m afraid you’re going to have to show Grandma how to use Bittorrent. And after that, I doubt she’ll mind the VHS traking errors one bit. However, The album based on the special is plentifully available in numerous forms and re-issues, featuring extra song that just so happen to include “When The River Meets the Sea” from the unbelievably fantastic Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas! Oh, and hipster mecca, Urban Outfitters, has repressed a vinyl version of the album featuring a LP of glorious “Kermit Green” that I’ll probably fail to resist.

2010′s Dec. 1 Christmas Special
A DISNEY CHRISTMAS GIFT

2009′s Dec. 2nd  Special
THE SNOWMAN

And it’s OFFICIAL! Oh my… there must be some explanation

Sorry for the misleading headline there, but I never ever though I’d bear witness the demise of Kermit, nor could I have imagined it’d be performed by Jim Henson on national television forty years ago! Okay, I’ll come clean: That clip above comes a November 1966 episode of The Ed Sullivan Show.

It seems Ed Sullivan was a pretty hardcore fan of Henson and his creatures. The clip above marks the third of what would tally in at twenty-five appearances on the variety program, and Sullivan would go on to narrate the Muppets’ very first Christmas Special, The Great Santa Claus Switch in 1970. I found it on this bootlegy DVD called Muppets Magic, which compiles The Muppets’ spots on The Ed Sullivan Show and somehow managed to avoid the wrath of Disney’s lawyers for some time before going understandably out-of-print.

This might be old news for some of you, but NPR managed to post the world’s first preview of the all new Muppet album, featuring loving covers by popular artists.

Just beautiful… Some of my favorite Muppet songs of all time have been given the warmest possible treatment from some of the most popular music acts of the day (I’m only guessing – I’ve never heard of half these people) in order to prepare the world for the upcoming release of the new Muppets movie. Here’s the tracklist

“Muppet Show Theme Song” – OK GO
“Rainbow Connection” – Weezer feat. Hayley Williams
“Mahna Mahna” – The Fray
“Movin’ Right Along” – Alkaline Trio
“Our World” – My Morning Jacket
“Halfway Down The Stairs” – Amy Lee
“Mr. Bassman” – Sondre Lerche
“Wishing Song” – The Airborne Toxic Event
“Night Life” – Brandon Saller
“Bein’ Green” – Andrew Bird
“I Hope That Something Better Comes Along” – Matt Nathanson
“I’m Going to Go Back There Someday” – Rachael Yamagata

Standouts include Weezer’s Rainbow Connection (obviously) and Alkaline Trio, an old punk fav of mine performing one of the finest up tempo tunes in Muppet history. However, I gotta give it up to OK GO, a band I like far more for their videos than their music, for their wonderfully weird interpretation of the “Muppet Show Theme Song“.

Better still, My Morning Jacket went the obscure route and dared to cover a song from Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas! Makes me wonder… who currently owns the rights to the Muppets’ music catalog? The album is being released by Walt Disney Records, but Disney doesn’t own Emmet Otter, and its music has NEVER been released in any official capacity. Which is why I personally ripped the whole damn thing in a fit of internet anger last year. Your welcome?

Emmet Otter – Brothers in Our World (right click/save)

You can purchase the album from my provided Amazon links – which helps me out FYI – but if you’re like me, you’re really gonna want the premium package Threadless put together, which comes with a kickass t-shirt and poster.

BUY THIS!

Like Green Lantern references? Then you’re gonna love this new Muppet movie teaser! More kickass The Muppets trailers below…

Good God, I’m so proud of how well Disney is marketing the new Muppet movie! Not only does today’s trailer spoof the upcoming, heavy-handedness of DC’s latest comic adaptation, it pokes fun at it’s own promotional insecurity. Thus far, teasers and trailers for The Muppets haven’t revealed much of anything as far as plot details go, and instead have taken a much sillier road. I can’t imagine what it must of been like to see the trailer below in theaters with no warning that it was related to a film starring the world’s most famous puppets.

The trailer plays for almost a minute as a typical Hollywood RomCom of the shittiest caliber – then BOOM! – Miss Piggy! But that’s what the Muppets do best: Send up popular culture. I’m not a fan of Kermit and Co. being shoehorned into classical adaptations such as Muppet Christmas Carol, Muppet Treasure Island, etc., and I’ve quite controversially (for this site, anyway) gone on record stating my distaste for wasting these characters on cliches and Holiday standards. When you do that, The Muppets become standard.

And they’re not! The Muppets are a reactive force against modern entertainment, with an added mix of earnest heart and adorable failure. I love these trailers. Muppet Studios has done a sensational job in keeping with the true spirit of these characters in general, and the movie’s marketing is doing an equally fantastic job towards setting up these sincere showmen with tongue-in-cheek expectations they can’t possibly live up to. After all, The Muppets just want to put on a show for the nice people, only to be kicked in the ass by the pitfalls of the entertainment industry. Or at least, that’s The Muppets to me anyway…

Oh, those legs

I wouldn’t have believed it myself, but the images and video below offer some pretty damning evidence…

Do people still know what Wizard of Id is? I haven’t seen a newspaper comicstrip for the better part of the last five years, but certainly I used to read the funnies consistently, although I never once heard anyone utter the name of Johnny Hart and Brant Parker’s “Wizard of Id” out loud in conversation… Yes, it’s the crudely drawn comic starring the midget king and wizard you always skip over, yet seems to have miraculously thrived in syndication for decades anyway. (However, despite its medieval setting, Id‘s ironically less religiously intolerant than Johnny Hart’s other bafflingly long-running strip B.C.?)

Well, thank God this never saw the light of day. Apparently, Jim Henson met with Hart in 1968 and cobbled a Wizard of Id pilot together in March of 1969, almost 42 years ago to the day! The Jim Henson blog says it was supposed to combine puppetry with traditional animation, which I suppose explains the blue background.

See more pics at Jim Henson’s Red Book

This is the first I’ve heard of it, so I applaud the official Henson blog for posting video and pics along with this historical footnote, because I would’ve probably spent the rest of my life looking for the evidence and/or attempting to disprove it. But Henson’s involvement cannot be denied – just listen to that wizard.

According to the post, Henson was all about the project but in the year between filming the pilot and getting the networks interested, he moved on to other things. And by “other things” I mean getting Sesame Street off the ground and appearing on variety shows with The Goddamned Muppets! Phew… that was a close one.

Similar to what we did last year with the Top 25 Cartoon Christmas Trees, A Cartoon Christmas is letting you (AND ME!) skip the usual 1000+ words of grammatically defiant babble on this day of days, while still giving you the opportunity to look at some gorgeous animated imagery.

REAL SANTAS

1. “Classic Santa” from A Disney Christmas Gift

I forget who issued me the challenge, but it was this: Can you find 50 different pictures from cartoon Santas? Well, two years + one post a day, every day in December until Christmas = 50 posts… yeah, sounds easy enough.

2. “Party Santa” from The Snowman (buy it here)

But wait?! There ain’t no Santy Claws in Mickey’s Christmas Carol or A Charlie Brown Christmas! And a few days on the animated advent calendar over there on left are, debatebly, cop out entries… You know, I could do it if I can do cartoon approximations of Saint Nick (i.e. cartoons characters posing as Santa) in addition to the Real McDeal! And that’s how we’re going to break these down: Real and Fake Santas.

3. “Slow Santa” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

Both are just as fun to look at anyway, right? Oh, and keep an eye out for a third SUPER SECRET category if I can’t meet the numeric criteria.

4. “Magician Santa” from Frosty the Snowman (buy it here)

Please enjoy our last post on the 2010’s Animated Advent Calendar, and feel free to click on image/link to read more on about the special showcase.

5. “Stranded Santa” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

And if you feel like buying the DVD, please do it through the Amazon link provided. Doing so costs you nothing, but kicks a small percentage back to us, which helps keep the site up. Or at least we hope it will someday!

6. “Useless Santa” from The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann

7. “Second Banana Santa” from A Chipmunks Christmas (buy it here)

8. “Sickly Santa” from Christmas Comes to PacLand

9. “Recipient Santa” from A Johnny Bravo Christmas (buy it here)

10. “Shouldn’t Count Santa” from Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (buy it here)

11. “Skinny Santa” from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (buy it here)

12. “Donkey-Worshiping Santa” from Nestor the Long-Eared Donkey (buy it here)

13. “Massive Santa” from Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (buy it here)

14. “Writer Santa” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

15. “Stupid Santa” from Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (buy it here)

16. “Smokin’ Claus” from ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas (buy it here)

17. “Blink and you’ll miss ‘em Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

18. “Captive Santa” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

19. “Young Ginger Santa” from Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (buy it here)

20. “Interstellar Santa” from George and the Christmas Star (buy it here)

21. “Sleepy Santa” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

22. “Stinky Santa” from Ren & Stimpy: Stimpy’s First Fart (buy it here)

FAKE SANTAS

23. “Robotnik Claus” from Sonic’s Christmas Blast (buy it here)

24. “Opus Claus” from A Wish for Wings That Work (buy it here)

25. “Kermit Claus” (no longer) from The Christmas Toy (buy it here)

26. “Funky Claus” from TaleSpin: A Molly Jolly Christmas (buy it here)

27. “Robot Holocaust Claus” from Batman: Christmas with The Joker (buy it here)

28. “Snoopy Claus” from It’s ChristmasTime Again, Charlie Brown (buy it here)

29. “Donald Claus” from Toy Tinkers (buy it here)

30. “Racist Claus” from Mickey’s Good Deed (buy it here)

31. “Claus of Doom” from Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (buy it here)

32. “Samson Claus” from A Very Venture Christmas (buy it here)

33. “Squidward Claus” from A Spongebob Squarepants Christmas (buy it here)

34. “Taz Clauz” from Bugs Bunny Looney Christmas Tales (buy it here)

35. “Dale Claus” from Pluto’s Christmas Tree (buy it here)

36. “Goofy Santa” from Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

37. “An Extremely Goofy Santa” Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (buy it here)

38. “Prince Adam Claus” from He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (buy it here)

39. “BBB Claus” from A Fat Albert Christmas (buy it here)

40. “Sad, Drunk Claus” from Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (buy it here)

41. “Extinct Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

42. “Dried Fruit Claus” from A Claymation Christmas Celebration (buy it here)

43. ” Doc Claus” from A Muppet Family Christmas

44. “Redemption Claus” from How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (buy it here)

YET TO BE COVERED SANTAS

45. “Pink Santa” from A Pink Christmas (buy it here)

46. “Worst 2010 Movie Star Santa” from Yogi’s First Christmas (buy it here)

47. “Nothing to Apologize for Santa” from Pee-Wee Herman’s Christmas Special (buy it here)

48. “Warner Santa” from Anamaniacs’ ‘Twas the Day Before Christmas

49. “Ruckus Claus” from A Huey Freeman Christmas (buy it here)

50. “Robot Santa” from Futurama’s Xmas Story (buy it here)

Seriously, thanks to everyone for reading this stuff. Really means a lot. (Now go have a great Christmas!)

EMMET OTTER’S JUG-BAND CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: 1977

A poor otter family struggles to make their musical Christmas wishes come true

[UPDATE: I've posted the entire Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas soundtrack here for your listening/downloading pleasure. Get it while ya can!]

BACKSTORY:

Many are unaware that Emmet Otter’s Jung-Band Christmas is based off a book by Russell Hoban, published in 1971.

A picture from the book, but it may as well be a storyboard

Perhaps that’s because the Christmas special directed by Jim Henson mirrors both the story and look so well, it might’ve all but replaced the source material within the public consciousness. Even the memorable certain songs written by Paul Williams come from fully fleshed out references and titles from the book.

On right, Henson and Frank Oz, who puppeteered  Ma Otter

This one-hour special was produced for HBO during a break between The Muppet Show’s first and second season. Since then it has aired on ABC and Nickelodeon. Unfortunately, not only is the special shown less frequently these days, in every subsequent airing and home video release it has also suffered various edits, additions and omissions to its original runtime.

A Home Video release and the musical stage production

However, The Jim Henson Company and Godspeed Opera House recently revived the special in the form of a live stage musical in 2008, featuring people in costumes and many recognizable versions of the original puppets.

BREAKDOWN

Without a doubt one of the greatest Christmas Specials of all time, and a heartwarming showcase of everything that makes the Jim Henson company special. It’s down to earth, tragic, musical, then soulfully uplifting by the end. That said… it sucks to kick this article on a sour note, but here ya go:

What you won’t be seeing anymore

Kermit the Frog. More than likely, that’s how most of you remember seeing it. Tragically, due to The Muppets acquisition by Disney, you’ll probably never see it that way again. Kermit’s intros, outros, and narration have been removed from the all recent and currently available versions of Emmet Otter on DVD.

“There Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub“

Although, to be fair, the special has rarely appeared as it originally aired on HBO, so we’ll look at some of the edits as we go. Plus, it’d be a shame if harping on a couple of negatives got in the way of celebrating, not only one of the finest thing Jim Henson has ever produced, but one of the more beautiful Christmas productions ever cobbled by puppet-engulfed hands.

Even the animal kingdom has no-goodniks

And I do not say that lightly. Emmet Otter took a few years to take hold. As a child, I didn’t find the look of all too enticing and had little patience for musical numbers. But it eventually grew on me, to the point where I found my last viewing over far too quickly. Understand this: When I call Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas absolutely phenomenal, I’m saying that from the perspective of someone who did not watch it repeatedly as a kid, but as an adult who hadn’t seen it in many years.

These Muppets have legs

Of course, being a little older helps one fully appreciate the technical scale on which the whole production was pulled off. Song composer, Paul Williams has stated that Emmet Otter was produced almost as preparation for the impending Muppet Movie, and it really, really shows. Whereas The Muppet Show used static sets (apropos of a production themed as a variety show) the camera in Emmet is constantly moving, framing seemingly impossible shots that’ll still leave the viewer asking the question, “How the hell did they do that?!”

This is how they did that

You’re looking at a far more elaborate production here, and it’s not only perhaps the first time Henson employed remote control puppeteering, it’s one of the only times marionettes were used in a Muppet production! Right from the start, the special wows you with scenes of Emmet and his mother Alice rowing a boat down a river, and the technical feats like these remain as astonishing as ever, IMO.

Remote animatronics were used for the mouths and heads, but the boat is actually rowing Emmet

But let’s not ignore the story! The scenes in the boat are also the heart of the interaction between two characters coping with the loss of a father and a husband. They laugh, sing, and make jokes. But the harsh reality is that they’re barely scrapping by, doing odd jobs around Frogtown Hollow due to the death of Emmet’s dad.

Foxy lady

We see the mayor’s wife screw Emmet’s mom out of a laundry bill in one of the very first scenes. This is also one of the first bizarre edits done to the production over the years. As Gretchen Fox walks away after denying payment, Alice had originally told her to go “jump in a lake!” The edit wouldn’t be a huge deal, except that it rather abruptly cuts to Will Possum saying “That’s tellin’ her, Alice.”

Gorgeous

Without the lake comment, it looks like he’s saying “Way to go, you spineless coward.” instead of the “That sucks, but you still showed her,” aside it was intended to be. Emmet and Alice move past the shady transaction, singing that no matter how bad it all gets, at least there “Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub,” kicking off one of the many unforgettable songs in Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas, as well as foreshadowing events to come.

With pearl inlay!

As it turns out, the Otter family is pretty screwed out of a decent Christmas this year. After stopping by a music store, both get the idea of giving each other musical instruments they could never afford. Emmet wants to put a down payment on a piano for Ma, and she desperately wants to purchase him a used guitar. Oh, yeah and it’s here we first meet the River Bottom Gang.

Here comes trouble

Both shrug off the items as hopeless luxuries they could never possibly afford, that is, until opportunity presents itself. There’s a talent show coming up featuring and prize money to the tune of $50! Which is a practical fortune down in Frogtown Hollow.

A Washtub band? Genius!

They entertain the prospect of participating, and we’ve seen that the Otters clearly have the musical chops to place in the competition. But once again, their financial situation denies them dreams of entering the low rent puppet version of American idol.

They weren’t lyin’ about the lack of holes

Ma seems to think she wouldn’t be able to present herself at the talent show without a new dress, yet the only way she can get the money needed for one on such short notice is to hock Pa’s old tools, which Emmet still uses to perform odd jobs for extra cash.

“But what if there was a hole in the washtub?”

Emmet’s dilemma is far more prickly one indeed. He’s approached to join -surprise! – a jug band, yet gets assigned to the worst possible instrument: The Washtub Bass. To do that, he’d have to… well, they just spent five minutes thanking the dear lord Jesus that “there ain’t no hole in the washtub!”

Doesn’t Emmet look weird without his hat on?

Obviously, that song was a bit of a metaphor pertaining to being thankful for the things they do have. Or maybe that’s just the way Emmet interprets it, because he goes and destroys the one thing his family has left shamble-free, all in the name of music most fine.

Don’t feel bad, Ma lightly screws over Emmet too

Of course, both eventually find each other backstage at the talent show, but not a word is spoken about the things they’ve sold or broken to get there.

Barbeque!

Don’t try and tell yourself each other’s deeds didn’t occur to them. As a family who has so very little, I’m pretty sure they would’ve noticed fairly quickly what one another had done once it came time to fix or wash something.

Fuck foxes, there I said it

Yet instead of bitching or making accusations, they both root for one another and provide the much-needed support to perform at the talent show. And, oh yeah, Ma gets up there and really belts it out.

Only a frumpy fashionista could tell that’s a new dress

But let’s be honest, and maybe I’m just speaking for the guys my age with no children, but c’mon: We’re pulling for Emmet! Let’s see what he’s up against:

Spastically dancing squirrels? Shouldn’t be too tough to beat

Not sure why, but these dancing bunnies have been cut out of more than one version of Emmet Otter. Odd, because I’ve had the cornball vaudeville tune stuck in my head ever since

Wait? Who’s this guy?!

Oh crap! That dickheaded possum is singing the very same BBQ song Emmet and his buddies had been practicing to perform. Rather than give up, they tear the roof off the fucker, to thunderous applause.

Fucking love this song, but YouTube wouldn’t let me post it! (UPDATE: I’ve gone ahead and posted the entire Emmet Otter soundtrack because I’m a goddamned renegade! Listen/Download here)

Given crowd response to the other acts, you’d assume either Emmet or Alice Ma are a shoe in to take home the prize. But trouble has another name: The River Bottom Nightmare Band.

RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND

In any other situation Muppets performing prog-rock would be the greatest thing in the world. But it just so happens these plushie thugs, who have spent the majority of their screen time treating Frogtown Hollow like a toilet, steal the prize right out from under the Otters.

They should get an award just for teaching a snake to play bass

Fucking SIGH! Ma and the Frogtown Jubilee Jug-Band sulk home, penniless, presentless, prideless.

This should never have happened

Okay, that last “less” isn’t all that true, because if there’s one thing the Otter family knows how to do well, it’s make the best of an utterly depressing situation.

Two songs are better than one

While wondering what they could’ve done differently back at the talent show, the get an epiphany: Combine both their songs together a into one enormous, skullcrushing Supersong!

“Damn! Why didn’t you do that an hour ago?”

The ditty captures the attention of the people in the city, and better still, Doc Bullfrog has a change of heart. He can’t take the talent show prize money back and I don’t blame him. Would you risk your life and limb demanding a refund from a band of aggressive animals with nothing to lose? Didn’t think so!

The next best thing to a record deal

But he does score the newly formed supergroup a gig performing at his restaurant on a regular basis. It’s better than a prize or a handout; it’s a steady paycheck for the first time since Pa passed.

Sadly, the DVDs also cuts Kermit’s appearance in the restaurant

No more laundry jobs gone bad, and I’m pretty sure a “professional musician” can afford all the used guitars they’d ever want. Yes, even with pearl inlay!

I’ve always considered Henson stuff to be pretty nonreligious, The Bells of Fraggle Rock being ample proof of that, but not even the original songs contain any reference to the savior or even Christmas.

Nope… I wish I had a joke here, but I find the fact that Santa doesn’t visit rural otters desperately in need of Christmas cheer too depressing.

I can’t say enough nice things about Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas. Trust me, plenty of time had passed between my last viewing and now, so I went in with glasses 100% free of rose tint. Jug-Band Christmas still won me over on every conceivable level. The whole production remains a marvelous technical feat, and I can’t think of any other special chock this full of charm, hope and lessons on the strength you can find through depending on others. Honestly, I just wish I could hug everyone involved in the project. If you take nothing else away from the childish text I’ve vomited on rest of this page, remember this: You should really watch Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas.

Oh yeah, and this blooper reel might be The Greatest Thing on the Internet!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas is available on DVD, albeit with the Kermit footage completely removed. However, the special contains several short sequences that haven’t appeared on other home video releases, and any scene missing is available to watch in the ample bonus features which include a behind-the-scenes documentary and the Outakes video embedded above. Assuming you’re willing to take a chance on Otter, I strongly encourage – no… I beg you, to pick up the version bundled with Jim Henson’s equally stellar Holiday special, The Christmas Toy for just a few pennies more. Oh, and before you go and call Disney mean names for not allowing Kermit to appear in Emmet Otter, I invite you to see what the previous, out-of-print versions featuring the famous Frog are going for on the Amazon Marketplace. You’ll get an idea of what he’s worth.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A VERY VENTURE CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 15th Christmas Special
SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

An animated gift for almost any smartphone

If there’s anything I have too much of on my hard drive, it’s used and unused cartoon Christmas art. Next to optimizing it for the web, I’d say I spent a ridiculous amount of time last year scaling and tinkering the shots I pulled into the perfect iPhone Wallpaper. So, this year I’m turning that frustration into my gift to you guys! Simply, tap and hold any image below on your iPhone/iPod Touch, save, head to the Photos app and assign them using the “Set as Wallpaper” function on the left. The rest of the work has been done for you.

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Pluto’s Christmas Tree

From Bug’s Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From Frosty the Snowman

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From A Wish for Wings that Work

From The Christmas Toy

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From A Claymation Christmas Celebration

From The Christmas Toy

From Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From A Fat Albert Christmas

From Fraggle Rock’s The Bells of Fraggle Rock

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

From Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From A Muppet Family Christmas

From The Snowman

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From Mystery Science Theater 3000′s Santa Claus

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From Ren & Stimpy’s “Stimpy’s First Fart”

From Toy Tinkers

And for a taste of what’s to come on A Cartoon Christmas 2010…

Hope that makes it a little easier to decorate your smartphones this Holiday season. Stay tuned, A Cartoon Christmas is just getting warmed up!

THE TOP 25 CARTOON CHRISTMAS TREES
From our favorite Animated Christmas Specials!

As a Christmas gift to both myself and A Cartoon Christmas‘s dozen or so readers, we’re going to avoid the usual grammatically-challenged diatribe and skip right to the good stuff: Christmas trees! Who among us doesn’t experience a warming jolt to the cockles at the mere site of tinsel and lights on an evergreen canvas?! (Admit it, Jews… you’re totally jealous!) Please enjoy our final post of 2009… and please do click the images to see an in-depth description of each Christmas special and a shitload of pictures. See ya next year!

25. THE INAUGURAL CHRISTMAS TREE

Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol (1962)

24. THE SILENT CHRISTMAS TREE

The Snowman (1982)

23. THE PUFFIN’S CHRISTMAS TREE

A Wish For Wings That Work (1991)

22. THE BATTLEGROUND CHRISTMAS TREE

The Christmas Toy (1986)

21. THE IMPRISONED CHRISTMAS TREE

Raggedy Ann & Andy in The Great Santa Claus Caper (1978)

20. THE ARCADE CHRISTMAS TREE

Christmas Comes to Pac-Land

19. THE SECOND CHANCE CHRISTMAS TREE

It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown (1992)

18. THE TERRIFYING MEXICAN CHRISTMAS TREE

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (1993)

17. THE ABOMINABLE CHRISTMAS TREE

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

16. THE ABSENT CHRISTMAS TREE

Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (1999)

15. THE CORNBALL CHRISTMAS TREE

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (1989)

14. THE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT EXPLODED

Toy Tinkers (1949)

13. THE MOST SADISTIC CHRISTMAS TREE

Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (2002)

12. THE SILLY CREATURE’S CHRISTMAS TREE

Fraggle Rock: The Bells of Fraggle Rock (1984)

11. THE REVISIONIST CHRISTMAS TREE

Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970)

10. THE CHRISTMAS TREE OF FORMER GLORY

Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales (1979)

9. THE RODENT-INFESTED CHRISTMAS TREE

Pluto’s Christmas Tree (1952)

8. THE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT FIRED THE CREATOR

Ren & Stimpy: Son of Stimpy (1993)

7. THE DUMBASS ETERNIA CHRISTMAS TREE

He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)

6. THE JUNKYARD CHRISTMAS TREE

A Fat Albert Christmas Special (1977)

5. THE CLAYMATION^TM CHRISTMAS TREE

A Claymation Christmas Celebration (1987)

4. THE CHRISTMAS TREE OF ULTIMATE REDEMPTION

Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

3. THE CHRISTMAS TREE OF INFINITE SONG

A Muppet Christmas Carol (1987)

2. THE ENDANGERED CHRISTMAS TREE

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

1. THE PATHETIC CHRISTMAS TREE

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

Oh well, Chuck… maybe next year.

Merry Christmas,
-C & H