While Warner Bros. is doing an admirable job revisiting our favorite desert-dwelling duo in CG, one fan doing them 2D justice in an incredibly fitting parody…
Last week, I wrote a long-winded diatribe about the new Looney Tunes Show and what makes those characters so goddamned special… now I’d like to think a thesis buried in that garbled nonsense pertained to the importance of classic LT sound effects and Carl Stalling’s original music. Well, I’d been hesitant to even watch this parody from Rob Yulfo I haven’t seen 127 Hours, but it actually helps my nerdy case a great deal!

That said, I should’ve complimented WB for their work in those new Road Runner and Coyote shorts that’ve been airing theatrically in front of movies I may never see (Legends of the Guardians and *shudder* Yogi Bear.) From the glimpses I’ve seen, they’re actually astoundingly true to the spirit of the original Chuck Jones shorts, while employing a more contemporary form of animation to be visually compelling in a new way:

It’s not that I didn’t notice, it’s just that I’m nowhere near the fan of their adversarial work as I am of Bugs and Daffy. CG Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoons are confirmed for airing as part of Cartoon Network’s upcoming The Looney Tunes Show, I’m not sure if they’ll all be of the quality of the handful of theatrical shorts. Can’t wait to find out.

RELATED ARTICLES

PETUNIA PIG FOR PRESIDENT, BUGS REPEALS
SLAVERY, AND OTHER LOONEY ACTS OF PATRIOTISM

TWEETY AND SYLVESTER star in:
GIFT WRAPPED

ROAD RUNNER & WILE E. COYOTE star in:
BUGS BUNNY’S LOONEY CHRISTMAS TALES

A CHIPMUNKS CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: December 14, 1981

Alvin’s selfless act of Christmas charity turns into twenty-four minutes of songs and deception…

BACKSTORY:

Alvin and the Chipmunks were the brainchildren of songwriter of Peter Bagdasarian Sr. After finding great success in altering his pitch in the novelty song “The Witch Doctor,” Bagdasarian revisted the idea, only this time harmonizing a trio of his own vocals into what we know today as “The Chipmunks,” in their first hit, “The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t be Late)”.

Creator Ross Bagdasarian Sr. (1919-1976) and the original album

The Chipmunks were an audio sensation, however, their first foray into animation with The Alvin Show wasn’t as successful, lasting only one season. Yet The Chipmunks albums continued to perform well, plus The Alvin Show started to find an audience after years in syndication. Nearly twenty years later, Peter Bagdasarian Jr. thought it was time to pick up where his father left off, and NBC believed in giving them another animated shot, starting with A Chipmunks Christmas in 1981.

Early Chipmunk designs in comics and TV

My entire generation knows Pete Jr. as the voice of David “Dave” Seville, Alvin, and Simon (his wife Janice Karman performed Theodore) thanks to Alvin & The Chipmunks‘ impressive, almost unprecedented, television run from 1983 to 1990 under various network and titles.

During that time it was nominated for several Emmys and even produced one (damn good, IMO) theatrically released film, A Chipmunk Adventure in 1987. Today, The Chipmunks have found a whole new generation of fans with newer films released by 20th Century Fox in 2007 and 2009, both of which were successful enough to undoubtedly warrant a third film.

BREAKDOWN:

Feeling like a bit of a hypocrite right now… Previously, I shit all over Raggedy Ann’s Christmas special, even accusing Chuck Jones of “slumming’ it” for a licensed character paycheck just because it didn’t it didn’t live up to his work on How The Grinch Stole Christmas. As if anything could, but mostly because I never understood the appeal of those nightmarish clown dolls.

Chuck Jones also oversaw this Christmas special and it really shows in the human characters

And yet I dug A Chipmunk Christmas, and Good God, I hope it doesn’t have to do for any residual love I have left for the property. I wish I could say that it’s simply because I thought the story was heartwarming and the animation was above par for the early 80’s, but I’m fairly sure it has more to do with all the Chipmunk albums I owned and the nostalgia for the series I didn’t even know existed until now. Alas, potential bias lies ahead…

Because skateboards don’t work on stairs

So what sets it apart from dopey shit like The Great Santa Claus Caper? Well, for one, The Chipmunks actually do things. They’re a pop music act that also happens to be kids… and uh, chipmunks, although that rarely factors into their characters beyond their voices.) But they’re sort of the original Hanna Montana, but they can also come up with ideas and solve problems. So there… I guess.

Child labor laws don’t apply to rodents

And in spite of my disdain for the recent movies (which I’ve never seen) and the trepidation of enduring a half hour of music, the show is surprisingly light on Chipmunks songs.

Alvin brags about what he already has

I mean, there are plenty of songs, but instead of simply crooning into the camera repeatedly for five straight minutes, like certain other specials, you instead get soothing snippets of several Holiday favorites, including their original hit “Christmas Don’t be Late,” which Alvin can’t even sing properly.

C’mon, do the Hula Hoop line!

What’s wrong with the lad? Well, it turns out “the red chipmunk” has starred into the eyes of death! Turning back to the beginning, the special opens showing a terminally ill boy, on his death bed.

Oh look, the sick kid’s a fan

So it’s not just the idea of recording sessions on Christmas, although Alvin bitches about that too. After dropping by a retailer to admire his prized Golden Echo Harmonica, he overhears the sick boy’s sister light up with excitement, believing the instrument is just what her brother needs to pull through.

“The harmonica is the cure, Mother”

“Great, now I gotta feel guilty about owning a cheap instrument.”

In a truly selfless act, Alvin rushes home and donates his harmonica to the kid…

Even though it’s a tool of his trade, Tommy needs it more than Alvin

Alvin’s singing voice returns. Unfortunately, Dave’s really cracking the whip hard this Holiday, and he lands the animal trio a gig performing at Carnegie Hall.

“You want my foster animals to work on Xmas… Let’s talk cash!”

Worse still, not only are the Carnegies demanding the underage singers work on Christmas, the specify that – nay, demand – Alvin must also perform a harmonica solo live on stage! You know, as taste in popular music dictated in 1981.

“How can we work without the proper tools- MMPPH!”

Thus Alvin’s gotta lie to Dave for the duration of the special, as the boys attempt to make the money necessary to buy a new Harmonica.

Somebody’s getting a Shake Weight this Christmas

I quite enjoyed the Alvin Claus sequence, where he charges children to sit on his comparatively diminutive lap for a picture. And not just for the joke at the fat kid’s expense, but that was great too.

“Cindy Lou, who? Can we get sued for that?”

The girl in this scene has a name that references another Christmas special worked on by Chuck Jones. Perhaps you’ve heard of Cindy Lou?

Let a human teach you the True Meaning of Christmas

Dave sees the boys newfound sense of entrepreneurship, and incorrectly interprets it as a materialistic understanding of Christmas.

“We’re sorry we worked for anybody but you, Dave”

He comes off as kind of a dick, actually, as he’s completely unaware they’re scrapping together cash to recover from a hugely charitable act just to help him profit on Christmas. Or at least I assume Dave handles the finances? Hopefully, he’s established a trust of some kind, because it can’t be easy to get singing rodents into college.

A quick trip to Dreamland

Alvin goes to bed distraught over his financial situation, and we see the strain on his psyche in the form of a prolonged dream sequence, where we meet someone who has an even worse idea as to the “True Meaning of Christmas.”

Fans of the original Alvin Show may recognize this guy, as he was once The Chipmunks’ costar. He was originally the Peabody and Sherman to The Chipmunks’ Rocky & Bullwinkle

It’s Clyde Crashup, noted scientist/inventor making a cameo, or rather one of his last appearance in The Chipmunks franchise of any kind (He shows up one last  time, ten years later, in a Back to the Future parody episode.)

Clyde has an even worse understanding of Christmas, and that’s probably why he was fired from the series

Alvin awakes without a solution, or enough money to buy a new Harmonica, and goes to the store to admire that which he cannot have.

That’s what you get for giving

However, an elderly lady spots him ogling the instrument and offers to buy it for him on one condition: He play her a song.

Tell me where is says anything about taking harmonicas from strangers

I won’t lie… I found this slightly creepy. Yet it makes for a pretty good ending, so hold tight.

Another panning shot, poorly stitched together by yours truly

Dave becomes aware of the debacle too late to do much, but with Harmonica in check, it’s off to Carnegie Hall…

What more can I say, TOP BILLIN’

Where Alvin’s got one more surprise in store.

It’s Tommy! Very much alive, no thanks to modern medicine. Apparently, a used harmonica was just was he needed to pull through the undisclosed disease, and The Chipmunks can sing there asses off, confident with the knowledge that the world is better than it was twenty-four minutes ago.

And we all get our metaphorical hula hoop

We say goodbye to The Chipmunks, but the special’s not over yet.

“Damn! The science is too tight!”

Santa hears the high-pitched performance as he flies over the city, and gives it an acknowledging head flip, as if to say “that shit is on fire.”

What time do you think it is in the North Pole when Santa gets off work?

We see him arrive home to the North Pole, weary from his single day of work. He slumps down in his chair, and who do we see sitting next to him?

SURPRISE!

The old lady who bought the harmonica, or Mrs. Claus!

Not really acknowledged, although arguably the basis for several of the Holiday tunes sung in short form.

Santa shows up at the end, but I truly love that A Chipmunks Christmas gives Mrs. Claus a turn in the spotlight. I can’t really think of another occasion where she’s portrayed as solely responsible for a Christmas miracle, so I thought the ending was pretty rad. Those cookies are for you this time, m’lady!

Contrary to what I expected, A Chipmunk Christmas is a pretty damn fine special, actually. As much as people my age love to write off the new movies as shit, and thus the whole franchise as a result, it was nice to be reminded that these are, in fact, strangely special and endearing characters. The 80’s cartoon ran for almost an eternity, so my indifference was quickly replaced by good old nostalgia right from the first couple of minutes of this incredibly well-executed special. It was nice to be reminded that my version of Alvin & The Chipmunks were reinventions too, and if I’m not using ‘em, why shouldn’t they be updated for a generation who can. Sorry if that’s too personal, but I feel like I experienced my own little Christmas miracle!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

A Chipmunk Christmas appears in its own standalone DVD, along with two other Christmas-themed episodes of the TV show, although the animation is not of the same quality you’ll find in the special from 1981. (FYI: The DVD listed above comes with a Chipmunks Christmas music CD, however the one I bought in stores recently did not.) I’d also recommend A Chipmunks Adventure, because I think it’s still a pretty great film, plus it’s unbelievably gorgeous compared to other animated films based on TV shows at that time (which quite fascinatingly resulted from Bagdasarian scooping up several animators fired from Disney after the fallout of The Black Cauldron!) The Alvin Show can also be purchased for super-cheap by those whose Chipmunks nostalgia goes back further than mine.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
MICKEY’S GOOD DEED

2009′s Dec. 10th Christmas Special
ROBBIE THE REINDEER

An animated gift for almost any smartphone

If there’s anything I have too much of on my hard drive, it’s used and unused cartoon Christmas art. Next to optimizing it for the web, I’d say I spent a ridiculous amount of time last year scaling and tinkering the shots I pulled into the perfect iPhone Wallpaper. So, this year I’m turning that frustration into my gift to you guys! Simply, tap and hold any image below on your iPhone/iPod Touch, save, head to the Photos app and assign them using the “Set as Wallpaper” function on the left. The rest of the work has been done for you.

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Pluto’s Christmas Tree

From Bug’s Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From Frosty the Snowman

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From A Wish for Wings that Work

From The Christmas Toy

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From A Claymation Christmas Celebration

From The Christmas Toy

From Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Invader Zim’s The Most Horrible Xmas Ever

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From A Fat Albert Christmas

From Fraggle Rock’s The Bells of Fraggle Rock

From How the Grinch Stole Christmas

From Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol

From Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From A Muppet Family Christmas

From The Snowman

From Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

From Mystery Science Theater 3000′s Santa Claus

From Mickey’s Christmas Carol

From Ren & Stimpy’s “Stimpy’s First Fart”

From Toy Tinkers

And for a taste of what’s to come on A Cartoon Christmas 2010…

Hope that makes it a little easier to decorate your smartphones this Holiday season. Stay tuned, A Cartoon Christmas is just getting warmed up!

Yesterday we presented our favorites, now it’s time to make with last year’s very best bad!

5. Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales

I always come off like a Disney fanboy, but the fact of the matter is that they’re just better with how they preserve and handle their animated characters. Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Carol is the perfect example of that. Not only is it the victim of horrible 70’s animation done on the cheap, outside of the Chuck Jones Road Runner portion, the whole special is pretty much a disgrace to the Warner Bros. animated legacy. I desperately desire more Xmas-themed Looney Tunes, but they’re a bit hard to find. And come on… just look at these screenshots, and you tell me how this stacks up to something like Mickey’s Christmas Carol.

4. Christmas Comes to Pacland

I might’ve been too harsh on the Pac-Man cartoon. In all fairness, it’s no worse than just about everything else Hanna-Barbera put out in the 70s and 80s. It adheres to the same wacky, mystery-solving formula, using tired gags and lame jokes, while doing its best to animate as little as possible. That makes Christmas Comes to Pacland understandable, although no less terrible. What I can’t forgive are the giant leaps in logic the special takes in order to put a first draft script on television screens. Plus, I’ve always found the fact that Pac-Man sounds like a phlegmmy, alcoholic bluesman with a three-pack-a-day habit supremely disturbing.

3. The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus

As a lifelong gamer and fan of Mario, believe me when I say you’ll only be able to watch this special through the gapped fingers of a half-hour long face palm. The live action sequences are embarrassing enough, but the depths of idiocy found in the animated portions may send some into fits of violently primal nerd rage. Why is Mario dressed for a calypso vacation? Why is he using a whip? Why is the person who voiced Toad still allowed to walk amongst men? You’ll have to watch the special to find out, which I strongly advise against.

2. The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann and Andy

I love writing about obscure, forgotten Christmas specials featuring licensed characters of yore, but this was just depressing. To watch Chuck Jones, the mastermind behind How the Grinch Stole Christmas, derivatively breathe life into these utterly useless characters and come out with just under half a Christmas special will suck the soul from your body. As someone not born in the 1920s, maybe I just don’t care about these stupid dolls enough. But still… If Teddy Ruxpin were still clinging to a shred of relevance, and paid Ren & Stimpy’s John Kricfalusi enough to humiliate himself with a half-assed Christmas special starring plushy tape recorders, I’d be bitching up a storm too. Bleh…

1. He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special

It’s with great shame that I cop to being a diehard He-Man fan as a kid, yet it’s nothing compared to embarrassment everyone involved in this crossover Christmas special should feel. I’m not sure how Mattel got away with making daily commercials that were little more than an excuse to hurl new action figures at childrens’ eyeballs for 22 minutes… But having to watch a full hour of it, skinned in an idiotic Christmas shell brought about by two kids who get sucked into Eternia, should be sternly regulated by the FDA. I am sicker for having watched this

THE TOP 25 CARTOON CHRISTMAS TREES
From our favorite Animated Christmas Specials!

As a Christmas gift to both myself and A Cartoon Christmas‘s dozen or so readers, we’re going to avoid the usual grammatically-challenged diatribe and skip right to the good stuff: Christmas trees! Who among us doesn’t experience a warming jolt to the cockles at the mere site of tinsel and lights on an evergreen canvas?! (Admit it, Jews… you’re totally jealous!) Please enjoy our final post of 2009… and please do click the images to see an in-depth description of each Christmas special and a shitload of pictures. See ya next year!

25. THE INAUGURAL CHRISTMAS TREE

Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol (1962)

24. THE SILENT CHRISTMAS TREE

The Snowman (1982)

23. THE PUFFIN’S CHRISTMAS TREE

A Wish For Wings That Work (1991)

22. THE BATTLEGROUND CHRISTMAS TREE

The Christmas Toy (1986)

21. THE IMPRISONED CHRISTMAS TREE

Raggedy Ann & Andy in The Great Santa Claus Caper (1978)

20. THE ARCADE CHRISTMAS TREE

Christmas Comes to Pac-Land

19. THE SECOND CHANCE CHRISTMAS TREE

It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown (1992)

18. THE TERRIFYING MEXICAN CHRISTMAS TREE

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus (1993)

17. THE ABOMINABLE CHRISTMAS TREE

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

16. THE ABSENT CHRISTMAS TREE

Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves on Fire (1999)

15. THE CORNBALL CHRISTMAS TREE

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show: Koopa Klaus (1989)

14. THE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT EXPLODED

Toy Tinkers (1949)

13. THE MOST SADISTIC CHRISTMAS TREE

Invader Zim: The Most Horrible Xmas Ever (2002)

12. THE SILLY CREATURE’S CHRISTMAS TREE

Fraggle Rock: The Bells of Fraggle Rock (1984)

11. THE REVISIONIST CHRISTMAS TREE

Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town (1970)

10. THE CHRISTMAS TREE OF FORMER GLORY

Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales (1979)

9. THE RODENT-INFESTED CHRISTMAS TREE

Pluto’s Christmas Tree (1952)

8. THE CHRISTMAS TREE THAT FIRED THE CREATOR

Ren & Stimpy: Son of Stimpy (1993)

7. THE DUMBASS ETERNIA CHRISTMAS TREE

He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special (1985)

6. THE JUNKYARD CHRISTMAS TREE

A Fat Albert Christmas Special (1977)

5. THE CLAYMATION^TM CHRISTMAS TREE

A Claymation Christmas Celebration (1987)

4. THE CHRISTMAS TREE OF ULTIMATE REDEMPTION

Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

3. THE CHRISTMAS TREE OF INFINITE SONG

A Muppet Christmas Carol (1987)

2. THE ENDANGERED CHRISTMAS TREE

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! (1966)

1. THE PATHETIC CHRISTMAS TREE

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

Oh well, Chuck… maybe next year.

Merry Christmas,
-C & H

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!
Original Air Date: December 18, 1966

SYNOPSIS:
A twisted green wretch seeks to ruin Christmas for a race of singing rodent-creatures.

BACKSTORY:
How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is based on a 64-page book written and illustrated in 1957 by Theodor Geisel, better known to the world as Dr. Seuss – the pseudonym he adopted to contribute to his college paper after getting caught drinking during Prohibition.

Seuss wrote a handful of children’s books in the late 30’s before turning his attention toward the war effort, penning hundreds of left-wing political cartoons for periodicals. He also served as the uncredited writer on a series of propaganda shorts intended for soldiers overseas, one of the best of which was Warner Bros. animation’s Private Snafu.

Private Snafu and Clampett’s Horton Hatches the Egg from 1942

During WWII, George Pal, Terrytoons and Bob Clampett took stabs at adapting Seuss’ material into cartoons, and Gerald McBoing-Boing even won United Productions of America an Oscar in 1951 for Best Animated Short. But in the years after  WII, Seuss renewed his focus on creating books and for the next fifteen years was notoriously reluctant to have his characters appear in any other format.

Adapted into a live-action travesty in 2000

It took veteran Warner Bros. animation director Chuck Jones – Suess’ collaborator on the Snafu shorts – to finally convince the author to return to animation. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! premiered on CBS and ran annually on the network for the next two decades. Today it’s shown across numerous channels, and has the distinction of being one of the few Christmas specials aired multiple times in a single year.

BREAKDOWN:
I don’t think anyone will argue with me when I say that How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is the definitive Dr. Seuss adaptation. Grinch set the bar for exactly how you’re supposed to depict oblong environments in poetic pentameter, and as a result, has shown remarkable longevity against all other Seuss cartoons.

Christmas? Not a fan

Beyond this classic special, most people my age are more familiar with the animated works that followed – a favorite of mine being The Lorax – but you’ll get a far better sense of just how well The Grinch translates the author’s work onto the screen if you’ve ever watched the cartoons listed above that predated it.

Just outside of What-city

The Holiday staple is the product of nearly two decades of valiant attempts at Seuss animation, and you can definitely see why the author was so reluctant to bother with the medium of cartoons, in spite of the fact that he had helped to pioneer them during the war.

Admit it: You wished you lived here

I know most people haven’t seen the Private Snafu shorts. (Understandable, since most of us didn’t have the pleasure of serving as soldiers abroad during World War II.)  But despite being comparatively  frightening and risqué, they were actually the most representative of Seuss’ style on the page, until The Grinch came along.

Obviously, this is due to Seuss’ direct involvement in the production. And thanks to the help of friend and former co-worker Chuck Jones, the cartoon is ridiculously faithful to the source material, with nearly ever damned word taken directly from the book.

The only Who you’ll hear

Albert Hague, who played Mr. Shorofsky in Fame, composed the famous music, but the good doctor himself is responsible for the childishly grotesque and nonsensical lyrics.

Seussian toy names were added for the special

It’s truly the perfect companion piece to the book, which is something I cannot say about that idiotic Ron Howard movie of the same name… Two fucking hours, elongated by an unnecessary Grinch origin story, too much time in Whoville and dark, dreary effects that can hardly be called “special.”

An impression of me listening to any version of “12 Days of Christmas”

The cartoon works without all of that, because as Chuck Jones himself said, “everyone hates Christmas a little bit.” Even adults sullied by the shitty weather or Wal-Mart fistfights over the last Elmo doll can experience a Holiday heart enlargement with every viewing. And kids today remain dazzled by the all 70,000 hand-drawn cells strung together by one of the most expressive animators of all time.

Unlike the movie, the cartoon only features three cast members (outside of the singers.) Best known for his portrayal of some of the most iconic monsters in silver screen history, Boris Karloff adds a sinister warmth to The Grinch through his transformation.

Distinctly Chuck Jones

And to Karloff’s further credit, his sing-songy narration is the next-best thing to having the book read aloud to you in a cozy winter bed – whimsically lending the story all the timelessness of a rich folk tale.

Every cowboy needs a horse

The only other onscreen character with any lines is Cindy Lou Who, voiced by June Foray (also known for her work in Rocky and Bullwinkle). She remains uncredited to this day due to a simple production oversight, as does a man who deserves every bit as much credit as Karloff gets for The Grinch’s portrayal.

A Screen Actors Guild nightmare

As hard as it is to believe that somebody manually designing the credits scroll could forget to mention such a crucial aspect of the production… it happened, and it’s a big one. After all, the first thing that comes to mind upon the slightest whisper of “Grinch,” is the baritone lyrics, mightily bellowed out by Thurl Ravensoft.

That train looks straight out of a Dr. Suess book

Whereas the stupid live-action movie forced us to endure the Grinch as a tormented child, “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” playfully establishes everything we need to know about the character, without the need for empathy.

Everything must go!

The lyrics endure as disgustingly evocative in a manner most juvenile, and the descriptive tune is among the most famous things on Ravensoft’s lengthy bio… Pretty impressive for a guy who also voiced Tony the Tiger for over fifty years, and moaned the immortal phrase of Snoopy’s rejection, “No Dogs Allowed.”

“Why no, I’m merely borrowing Christmas”

Why does he remain uncredited? Well, for one, it’s almost common knowledge.  Seuss himself was so mortified about the oversight that he mailed letters to publications all over America politely asking editors to, please, acknowledge the man behind the voice. And you could say most have obliged ever since.

The “Sinful Sot” listens in

Additionally, the omission stands because How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is beyond reproach, like the Star Wars of Christmas specials… okay, really bad example. But The Grinch is considered such a sacred American tome that even the slightest tampering would be considered an infraction of the highest caliber, as the only thing ever removed from the special were the Seuss-inspired bookend sponsor bumpers by the Foundation of Full Bank Services.

This song kills fascists

That said, you I hope you can see why I didn’t bother with a detailed plot synopsis. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! has been aired on television more than any other Christmas special, and the movie currently holds the box office record of highest-grossing Christmas movie of all time (in spite of being largely terrible).

NEVERMIND!

Shit, I’d like to meet a single person who isn’t familiar with the Grinch, if only so I could plunk them down, pry open their eyelids and force them to watch it for the first time. FYI: Even my Microsoft word recognizes the word Seuss, made up out of thin air!

How’zat for an ending?!

No overt reference is made to Christ, but once Grinchy strips away all of the telltale signs of an irreligious Christmas, you could interpret the glowing, star-like object seen with the Whos as the embodiment of the Son of God…

…but that’d probably be stupid.

Not specifically, but with all the Kringle imagery afoot, you can’t deny that The Grinch is still an approximation of Santa Claus, even if he is an evil doppelganger.

Yuletide Redemption

Just so you know, I haven’t seen How the Grinch Stole Christmas! in a couple of years, and I made it a point to view it after watching so many other Christmas-themed gems and gallstones. Thus, I can proudly exclaim with utmost authority: How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is the most perfect twenty-six minutes anyone can endure between November 30th and December 25th. And speaking as practical atheist, the special makes me feel bad, even mortified, for anybody involved in a religion too repressive to celebrate Christmas. How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is just so colorful, catchy and wonderful-to-behold, even Hebrews gots ta shout!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the Site!)

There’s an existing version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! with a more green cover that you’ll want to avoid. The Deluxe Edition is what you want. It’s got many of the the bonus features from the previous edition, plus a couple new ones, and Warner has done a little color restoration after some complaints about the previous edition. If you’re High-Def equipped, you’ll definitely need the relatively inexpensive Blu-Ray. And how can I not recommend the book?! It makes a great, cheap-ass Christmas gift for even the most impossible-to-shop-for on your list.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special:
A MUPPET FAMILY CHRISTMAS

BUGS BUNNY’S LOONEY CHRISTMAS TALES
Original Air Date: November 27, 1979

SYNOPSIS:
Bugs and the partially assembled Looney Tunes gang go through the Holiday motions!

BACKSTORY:
Although many people are given credit for the creation of Bugs Bunny, only one man brought him an Oscar. While Tex Avery popularized the version of Bugs we now know and love, Friz Freleng was the one who directed him to his only Academy Award, in 1958’s Knighty Knight Bugs.

Freleng and Bugs during better times

When Warner Bros. shut down its cartoon division in 1963, it allowed Freleng and the previous WB animation director, David DaPatie, to set up shop in its old animation facilities for a nominal fee, where they operated under the name of the DaPatie-Freleng Enterprises.

Logos that accompanied many a DFE cartoon

Rather than let their characters die, however, Warner licensed out the use of the Looney stable of characters to DFE and Chuck Jones Enterprises for several television projects – Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales was a joint product of both studios.

BREAKDOWN:
As much as I like the idea of “getting the band back together,” there’s a reason Bug Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales has been lost to time. These were the cheap years, the Speedy-Gonzales-versus-Daffy-Duck times most Looney Tunes fans don’t like to talk about.

Bugs opens the special by leading a group of drunks in song

Given the budget for what was essentially a heavily licensed, made-for-TV freelance assignment, I sure as shit didn’t expect a whole lot going in. So in a way I was not let down.

Love the backgrounds here

Both Jones and Freleng were well beyond their prime and, I’d guess, basically resurrecting old tricks for the money. It’s animated pretty poorly and the gags are, for the most part, simple retreads going through the motions.

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable

Looney Christmas Tales features three cartoons made fresh 30 years ago – two by Freleng and one by Chuck Jones. Now, I was faced with an overwhelming sense of dread at having to watch another adaptation of A Christmas Carol, especially at a run-time of seven or so minutes…

This is the most Bugs ever moves

But I sorta dug it since it was a surprisingly fresh take. Sure you’ve got the same old Dickens classic, recast with the Warner Bros. menagerie. Yosemite Sam is Scrooge, Porky Pig is Bob Cratchit, etc.

I noticed it, too, Bugs

Oh, and one role that hints at a adulterous Petunia Pig:

Yep, Tweety Bird as a genetically impossible Tiny Tim

But Bugs Bunny is pretty much Bugs Bunny. The only time a ghost even appears is when Bugs dresses like one.

It’s not unlike the old formula where they simply insert Bugs into any situation just to watch him torment another asshole, so I’ve got no complaints there.

This is how it ends – on Christmas night for a change

Only problem is, there’s no fluidity to the animation, nor to the Stalling-esque score we’ve come to associate with the rabbit’s escapades. Mel Blanc is on hand to provide all the recognizable character voices, but the sound effects seem to be on loan from Hanna-Barbera.

Spirited, but stupid

Chuck Jones’ Road Runner cartoon fares a bit better. By his own admission, there really isn’t much more to the Road Runner-Wile E. Coyote duo than concocting new ACME products and FAIL gags.

The only real premise at work is that Wile E. Coyote chases the Road Runner to the top of a mountain under the assumption that road runners hate snow.

In fact, he takes to it quite well

And no offense to the Road Runner or Wile E. Coyote, but it’s undeniably cool to see them running around someplace other than an art-deco desert for once. Plus the animation is a cut above.

Because Chuck Jones knows snow, bitches!

But probably the most notable cartoon is an all-new Tasmanian Devil short. Due to his latter-day popularity in commercials, mudflaps and television appearances, people tend to forget that Taz only starred in five theatrical shorts. (By comparison, Bugs was in almost 150!)

Great! Now I have a new phobia

In a bit of contrived self-awareness, even the pilots wonder why they’re shipping a Tasmanian Devil from Australia over the North Pole on Christmas Eve. But hey, that’s what gets him where he needs to be!

Animal cruelty?

Ever-afraid to portray cartoon characters as married – and thereby unattainable – Bugs is made to be caring for his nephew over the Holidays.

Who could forget Bugs’ nephew, “Nephew?”

Bugs proceeds to torment Taz, who actually seems even more punch-drunk and lost than usual on this occasion, to the point where you almost feel sorry for him.

Taz’s don’t know that table’s not food!

Either way, The Fright Before Christmas is the only short from this special that found its way in to regular airings on Saturday mornings alongside Warner Bros.’ popular, much better looking, theatrical shorts.

Not unlike the tree, this scene was trimmed in subsequent airings

The half-assed wraparound that bookends the three shorts fizzles out with Bugs riding off into the Christmas night with the rest of the Looney Tunes…

“Goodbye, Docs”

Right before Taz eats the sleigh, for a last-ditch comedic effort before the buzzer.

Obligations

What kind of goofy God would make a rabbit who could talk?! Keep your religion the hell away from my Looney Tunes!

Plenty of characters don the famous red suit, but only the big guy’s hoause makes an actual appearance.

All dressed up with no one around

Every time I beat back my Holiday cynicism, something like Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales comes along to keep me on my toes. Even thirty years later it resembles the shameless cash-in it always was: The Godfather III of Christmas specials. And above all, NO DAFFY!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the Site!)

Bugs Bunny’s Looney Christmas Tales is available on its own only on VHS, so it should be easy to avoid. However, it’s also included as a special feature on the Looney Tunes: Golden Collection, Volume 5, part of the phenomenal DVD series that contains nearly seven hours of Warner Bros. bliss. While you’re at it, pick up the latest volume as well – Warner has just announced that they’re discontinuing the Golden Collection,  so even a mild interest could turn into an extremely valuable collectors item! (Don’t believe me?  Peep the price on this similar Disney series that went on sale just two years ago.)

Yesterday’s Christmas Special:
SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

THE GREAT SANTA CAPER
Original Air Date: November 30, 1978

SYNOPSIS:
A highly derivative villain named Alexander Graham Wolf careens into the North Pole with a nefarious, capitalistic plan to monetize Christmas. Luckily, Comet the Reindeer catches wind of the plot and must employ the world’s only two heroes capable of putting a stop to it: Raggedy Anne and Andy?

BACKSTORY:
Look, I hate to knock such a beloved character just because I hail from a generation who only experienced the waning days of her 100 year popularity… but I’ve always thought Raggedy Ann was a creepy ghoul of a doll, and never understood her appeal.

Today, Raggedy Ann has been all but forgotten by just about everyone except shamelessly sexy Halloween costume manufacturers

If I sound too harsh, understand it’s only because I’ve never been able to bring it up until this very moment, since no one I’ve ever known has ever brought this 20th century relic up in conversation.

There isn’t a human alive left to tell you this, but Raggedy Ann is based on a popular book series started in 1918 by Johnny Gruelle

Still, we all caught glimpses of Raggedy Ann here and there while growing up. Unfortunately, I happen to associate her most as the centerpiece my Grandmother’s eerily immaculate retirement tomb. And although it’s hardly Raggedy Ann’s her fault that this thought also conjures the smell of urine, Fresca and death, but hey, it’s a packaged deal. But it’s not like we crossed paths enough for me to build any revulsion towards the lady.

Unlike more deserving characters Raggedy Ann and and have starred in both TV shows and film

After all, Raggedy Anne and her insipid TV show ran up against mind-blowing stuff like Muppet Babies, Ninja Turtles and The Smurfs in the fall of 1988, so we both could’ve gone the rest of our lives without running afoul of one another… That is, until I watched her abysmal special on a whim, The Great Santa Caper, and realized she went and dragged Chuck Jones into her irrelevant spiral! That I don’t forgive!

Say it ain’t so, Chuck…

Chuck Jones, the lauded animator who brought us cell and paint H-bombs like the Road Runner, Michigan J. Frog, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi and the phrase “Rabbit Season, Duck Season,” now has this frontier-era Barbie doll tarnishing his legacy.

Although, perhaps Rags isn’t entirely to blame… Jones did write this forgettable piece of Yule tide nonsense. I mean, to his credit How the Grinch Stole Christmas has remained a benchmark of animated Christmas specials, but to his discredit, this pathetic offering made 12 years later bears more than a passing resemblance to some his previous work.

Even if The Grinch and Alexander Graham Wolf don’t shop at the same sleigh dealership, they share a motive. Plus, he more than resembles a certain coyote

Or a sun bleached “Ralph Wolf” if you wanna be a dick about:

Alexander and Ralph share the same accent, nose color, and resemblance to Wile E. Coyote

Chalk this up to Jones being an old man well beyond his prime, but I’m thinking it has more to do with the utterly useless source material. The main problem with Raggedy Anne is that she never really does anything. I mean, what can she do, really?

Comet overhears Wolf’s monologue and rushes off to get help

Being the hottest holiday item during “A Very Turn of the Century Frontier Christmas” hardly qualifies her to roundhouse kick, call in an army of robots or crush the souls of her enemies with irrefutable logic puzzles. At best, she’s merely cute.

If you’re this terrified of reindeer, perhaps you’re not qualified to save Christmas?

So why exactly does Comet the Reindeer rush off to employ the services of Raggedy Anne and Andy to overthrow the plot of Alex G. Wolf? Purely on the basis – and these are her words (yes, Comet’s female, deal with it) – of needing someone who is “very light and can’t freeze.” Seriously? Mr. Maggo’s pretty short? Mighty Mouse is ridiculously strong AND protected by a layer of mammalian fur?

Lightweight heroes

If Comet had to bring in the grunts purely on the basis of what she alone  – a weightless reindeer! – can carry, I’d have to say Chilli Willy would’ve been way easier on the arches, and packs in up to x40 the cute factor. But since Raggedy Anne is the one writing the checks, she’s all Jones’s got to work with. (Unless you count Raggedy Arthur, a speechless hellhound, who astoundingly proves to be even more inconsequential than his owners.)

Santa appears briefly, but then goes to bed thinking everything is A’okay

My biggest problem with any Raggedy Ann adventure is that she rarely raises a finger to solve problems. The only ability she seems to posess is a knack for encountering people and things who can. Here’s Wolf’s plan: Shroud Christmas items in plexiglass in order to charge children for mint condition versions of the toys Santa delivers for FREE!

The capitalistic nerve?!

So once Raggedy Anne and Andy arrive at Santa’s toyshop, HOW do they go about foiling Mr. Wolf’s plot to permanently encase all toys in his proprietary cellophane shell, Gloopstick? They don’t…

Way to not go… clever girl

In one of biggest cop-outs since the “Thank Goodness it was only a dream!” ending, Raggedy Anne and Andy take a corrosive piss on the fourth wall, turn to the camera and demand, YOU, the television viewer, shout “LOVE” at the screen. For real?

Seriously

Thank God video games would come along and provide legitimate interactive entertainment

Presents are unlocked and Mr. Wolf learns he prefers loved to being hated, all before Santa could wake up and appear in his own “Caper.”

So much for the sequel

Meanwhile, the audience, whether they chose to yell at their screen like it was a Packers game or not, has grown either 80% dumber or irate at an adventure that barely started, middled or ended.

Bleh

None. Unless you’re a conspiratorial grad student who hasn’t watched enough television to better to intertwine “Christmas” and “Love” to Christ’s condemnation of material gain.

Minimal. He appears early on during Christmas Eve preparations, then more notably, sleeping with his reindeer… instead of Mrs. Claus?!

Oh, the implications!

One ball is awarded solely because I interpret the “Meaning of Christmas” as an excuse to let Chuck Jones work again. There’s a reason this thing isn’t available on DVD.

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Bittersweetly, The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann and Any is not available on DVD. While I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s still a shame for people who loved it to be without the option. However, you can pick up numerous DVDs that contain 3 or so episodes from the Saturday Morning TV series, and the dolls themselves are still for sale damn near everywhere.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
THE CHRISTMAS TOY