A MOUSE, A MYSTERY AND ME
Original Air Date: December 13, 1987

A world-class mystery-writing teenager joins forces with an animated mouse to solve the mystery of who kidnapped Santa outside a shopping mall…

BACKSTORY

Ruby-Spears Productions is the brainchild of Joe Ruby and Ken Spears, former sound editors at Hanna-Barbera. At one point, they were asked to write for a new mystery-based cartoon show, which ended up being Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!

Zoinks!

They spun their newfound success off into their own animated outfit, producing such hits as Fangface and Fangface and Fangpuss and… just kidding, I have no idea if those were hit shows or DethKlok songs. But Ruby-Spears did actually work on such memorable fare as the 1988 Superman cartoon show, the 1983 Alvin and Chipmunks, Mork and Mindy, Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr, Q*bert and Frogger, Dragon’s Lair, Space Ace, Punky Brewster, Rambo, Chuck Norris, Police Academy, and the American Mega Man show. Along the way, they picked up Emmy nods for Alvin and The Mr. T Show.

Shut up fool. I need work!

Once the RS factory simmered down, it juggled corporate hands, being sold (with Hanna Barbera to Turner Broadcasting in 1991, which then merged with Time Warner in 1996. In addition, RS produced a ton of TV special fare, like The Puppy Who Wanted a Boy, The Chipmunks Valentine Special, A Chipmunk Reunion, Robo Force, and today’s ultra-special topic of discussion.

Now do you understand how this happened?

BREAKDOWN

There’s not a whole lot of info on A Mouse, A Mystery and Me but it was aired during primetime on NBC in December 1987 and was sponsored by McDonalds. Ya know, there simply isn’t enough innocuous family entertainment sponsored by fast food these days…

Brought to you by childhood obesity!

I watched A Mouse on a VHS taped by my parents for years after its airdate. Up until just a few days ago, I thought these characters were a part of another series that I never got around to watching. Nope!

I always just accepted the premise of a ghostwriting cartoon mouse working with a teenaged novelist at face value. One minute of exposition? That’s all I need! Of course, that was again, only because I thought this universe existed. However, I can’t see how adults would be eagerly on-board for characters they were just introduced to, and that’s unfortunately the perspective I’m writing this entry from.

Parenting!

So, we get little Stevie Mumford walking around a city mall unattended trying to get a spot with the big guy. Too bad Santa’s gotta hit the head.

Santa’s dropping a Yule Log, kiddies

Meanwhile, Santa (Dick Van Patten doing his best Mel Brooks impression) is in a spot of trouble, which by the look of that face, must be of the financial variety.

“They’re gonna take my thumbs!”

Stevie stalks Mall Santa to a park bench and proceeds to lambast the troubled man with what he wants for Christmas. Eventually, Stevie mentions he wants his Dad home for Xmas but fears he’ll never see him.

“Seriously, kid. Do you have several thousand dollars?”

But Mall Santa’s a big softie. He suggests they share a hot dog together – in a very non-pedophilic way! – and strolls off to ease Stevie’s worries. Too bad – he gets kidnapped!

Bang Bus: Holiday Edition

Meanwhile, we meet Jill, a world-renowned teenage mystery novelist, her useless friend Amy, and a cartoon rat. Whaaaaaaaa?

Alex, the “Mouse” of the title

In a one-page dialogue scene setting up all of the exposition we could ever need to suspend any and all disbelief, here’s the gist: Jill gets credit for the books, while Alex ghostwrites the novels. Again, I naturally accepted this as a kid because A) I was stupid (kids are pretty dumb) and B) I thought this was merely a holiday special spinoff from a previously established TV series.

Basically a cartoon mouse means a lot of background plates being shot while Ruby-Spears Productions animates a mouse doing cartoon-esque things accompanied with plenty of Hanna-Barbera sound effects.

“Feets don’t fail me now!” *cue Fred Flintstone run noise*

Suddenly, Stevie walks in and figures Jill can help figure out why Santa Claus was kidnapped, since she’s so good at mysteries and all.

“Somebody stole Santa Claus!”

Note he said, “stole” and not “kidnapped”. That’s because kidnapping would imply some sort of ransom. Not here! Jill, Alex, and to a far lesser extent, the utterly useless Amy, agree to take the case because Alex wants to make Stevie happy on Christmas Eve. I’m more saddened to realize Jill and Amy don’t have family to spend their Xmas Eve with and are perfectly happy running to a mall for a stupid five-year-old, but whatever. I’m cynical.

A MOUSE, A MYSTERY AND ME WILL BE BACK AFTER A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR!

Back at the mall, there’s a Santa there. Jill talks to the mall managers, Martine and Sam.

Possibly the villains

Jill has Alex snoop around by riding a toy train to get closer to this newer Santa, which points to a tag at the Renta-Santa shop.

Pay attention again, kids. Cartoon Rat’s doing something.

At the Renta-Santa shop, they meet the sleaziest Santa Costume Rental Shop keeper I’ve ever seen.

He even calls them dames!

Eventually, the trio heads back to the mall where another boring minute of exposition plays out.

The old glass-to-ear trick. Works NEVERY time

Apparently Mall Santa may have embezzled $500,000 of the mall’s money. You know, for charity!

*notcartoon*BORING!*notcartoon*

Cartoon shenanigans! There we go…

I have no idea how they reach this conclusion, but Sam says Mall Santa did it and will now puts a briefcase full of jewelry into the safe. The girls get suspicious and ask Martine about the shady deal.

It’s Jerry!

Jerry, the Security Guard – whom we’ve never seen before – comes in and Martine tells him to let the girls have a look in the jewelry vault. Cartoon Rat (sorry, Alex) snoops around and does the ol’ Big Lebowski/rubbing on piece of paper trick.

Master of the blow job

But instead of a picture of a giant phallus, it says, “Lock ‘em up!” Now it’s a race against time to save the girls! Luckily we have one more action scene with Alex. Hooray?

Whatever

Apparently, all toy vehicles sprout tiny combustion engines and gas pedals if you’re small enough.

Not at all ripped off from Gremlins

Now that’s a fine how-do-ya-do!

The girls find Santa and Sam locked up downstairs. Oh, and evidently Jerry the Security Guard is on the take. He and Martine are the bad guys! Well, only Alex can stop them! He drops Jerry’s gun into the bag of cash, which TSA finds at the airport. Great job, Cartoon Rat!

A Fleshlight woulda been funnier

Meanwhile, everyone’s safe for some reason. Mall Santa has gifts for Stevie and the girls continue to spend Xmas Eve with strangers. Ding dong! Who’s that? Why, it’s Stevie’s dad.

Seriously, where have you been?!

Christmas miracle or Deus Ex Machina?

We will never see this character again. Ever. Ever.

Well, there was a Christmas miracle at the end, but Miracle and Coincidence are interchangeable in my book. ZERO CRUCIES!

We counted two fake Santas in there and a nod to a “real” Santa Claus at the end. The “real” Santa Claus is also interchangeable with Coincidence. One star for two fake Santas.

There’s certainly something to be said about two teenage girls giving up their Christmas Eves to spend helping a little boy find an adult stranger caught up in some embezzlement scam… I just don’t know how the hell to say it. So while Stevie fades away from the picture so Cartoon Rat can shine, it’s all done for a good cause. I think?

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

A Mouse, A Mystery and Me has never been available on DVD or even VHS and probably never will be. However, Disney’s The Great Mouse Detective is a more than acceptable substitute! But if you’re absolutely jonsing for more of those cheap, stupid animated thrills that only Ruby-Spears Productions can provide, Mr. T: The Complete First Season and Chuck Norris: Karate Commandos await your purchase!

Author Shane Patterson is a Los Angeles-based writer and filmmaker. Follow him on Twitter at @paperthin0

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
GI JOE “COBRA CLAWS ARE COMING TO TOWN

2010′s Dec. 25 Christmas Special
50 JOYOUS PICS OF CARTOON SANTAS

2009′s Dec. 25 Christmas Special
TOP 25 CARTOON CHRISTMAS TREES 

]]> http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/25/a-mouse-a-mystery-and-me/feed/ 2 http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/24/gi-joe-christmas/ http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/24/gi-joe-christmas/#comments Sat, 24 Dec 2011 18:47:26 +0000 cantista http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/?p=5360

G.I. JOE’S “COBRA C.L.A.W.S ARE COMING TO TOWN”
Original Air Date: November 7, 1985

Cobra pulls out the oldest trick in the book: Shrinking its operatives down to miniatures and stuffing them inside Christmas toys in poorly thought-out, Trojan Horse attempt to ruin Christmas…

BACKSTORY

Before G.I. Joe was a cartoon series it was one of the world’s most famous line of toys (and technically before that it was a comic strip in the 40s, but let’s focus on the toys for now). In the early 60s Hasbro decided the world needed more manly toys for children (boys) to play with; thus, “America’s movable fighting man” was born. The term G.I. Joe wasn’t officially trademarked until 1965. As America saw its way through the Vietnam War, the G.I. Joe action figures took a step away from war themes, becoming “The Adventures of G.I. Joe.” At the war’s end Hasbro attempted to ditch the military theme entirely and renamed the line “Adventure Team” in 1970.

The original “Adventure Team” is probably worth a good chunk of change these days

The 70s saw the not-dolls gain more lifelike features including “realistic” hair, movable eyes (frankly a very creepy addition), and the ever-so-famous “Kung-Fu Grip.” Those who had the toys might remember using these action men to do the most mundane things like, say, pick up peas at the dinner table or grab small tufts of the uppity housecat’s hair. It can’t have just been me. The toys popularity grew exponentially as the brand expanded and G.I. Joe became an international license. In the 80s Marvel picked up the franchise for a promotional comic, the success of which led to G.I. Joe: Special Missions. In 1994 both the main comic series and the Real American Hero action figure line came to an end, though the comics have been picked up again and again by several other publishers hoping for Marvel’s success. Marvel eventually snagged the series again in 2010 and picked up right where it left off in ‘94.

The Joes are the “ultimate weapon of democracy!” Honk if you love patriotism and explosions!

All these fun facts about the franchise finally bring me to the main point: The animated series. The main series ran from 1985 to 1986 and had a total of 95 episodes in this time, all focusing on the struggle between good (the Joes) and evil (Cobra, a terrorist organization set on world domination).

Get tough, yo!

Since its end, G.I. Joe has aired in several more adaptations including a few branching mini-series, quite a few video games, and some movies, though none are quite as memorable as the original show. Of course, the things we remember most about the show are the PSAs that closed off the episodes. “Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.” “Cobra C.L.A.W.s Are Coming to Town” is episode 39 of the 1st season and is perhaps the least Christmas-y Christmas special ever made.

BREAKDOWN

Conway Shitty

The episode starts out festive enough, with the Joes picking up toys for the kids at “Children’s Hospital,” because I guess nothing screams “covert government agency” like a toy drive where all the bins are marked with the agency’s name.

Easy, breezy, beautiful Cover Girl looks pissed

Just as the Joes are celebrating their bounty of toys, Wild Weasel- possibly the stupidest pilot moniker ever- attacks, driving the team into an outcrop of rocks so Firefly can plant fake toys in the toy bin while they aren’t paying attention.

Covert Ops!

I’m entirely sure why the Cobras didn’t just put the fake presents in the toy drive box before the Joes picked them up, but I guess if they were smarter their billion dollar plans wouldn’t fail in every episode.

Deck the Compound

Once the decoys are in the bin Wild Weasel takes off and Duke, Cover Girl, and Shipwreck return to base. Upon unloading the toys and even commenting on the rocking horse, NO ONE NOTICES ITS CREEPY FUCKING BLINKING EYES. I would have thought that was a dead giveaway, but apparently all their covert military training never taught the G.I. Joes to suspect the blatantly obvious.

Seriously, guys? That doesn’t look sinister to you?

Ignoring the toys for now Duke turns on the “Defense Grid” and the team gathers for Christmas dinner cooked up by Roadblock, but Mutt slinks away to whine to Junkyard about how sad the holidays make him. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who talks to my dogs like they’re people.

He won’t answer you Mutt. They never do…

As Mutt and Junkyard wander into the garage where the toys are stored, shrunken Cobras pop out of the fake toys Firefly planted and attack Mutt with mini-weapons and gas before destroying the defense grid, allowing back-up to break in and turn them back into normal-sized Cobras. With most of the Joes off-base those remaining are pretty quickly knocked out and the Cobras get to celebrate their (temporary) victory.

“A Trojan rockin’ horse?! We’ve been snookered!” -Mutt

When the Joes regain consciousness and find Duke missing, the Baroness reveals the Cobra plan in true confidant villain fashion and shows our heroes a video of Zartan impersonating Duke and threatening Keystone City. This elaborate plan was set in motion so Cobra could steal the Joes’ weapons and vehicles and make the world think they had turned traitor, which in itself isn’t a terrible plan; a little clichéd and easily foiled, but not as bad as some other Cobra plans.

“This is when I tell you all about our evil plans so you know exactly how to stop us.”

Cobra Commander gets to make a pun about putting the Joes on ice before they are locked in a meat freezer. Why he thought they would NEVER figure out how to get off meat hooks, I will never know. It is at this point that Shipwreck makes a joke about having a “meaningful relationship” with the slab of meat hanging next to him. I honestly don’t have anything to say about this, it just needed to be mentioned.

Don’t worry kids, he isn’t hurting the meat. This is how adults hug. You see when a grown-up man loves meat…

Normally the villain will stop after laying out their plan in detail, but Cobra Commander is one cocky motherfucker and in the spirit of the holiday he leaves the key to the Joes’ handcuffs RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF THEM WITH A GODDAMN BOW WRAPPED AROUND IT. Because he was just so sure they would never slip off those hooks.

I was not exaggerating. That’s a fucking bow around the key to the Joes’ freedom

Shipwreck frees the other Joes but as is usually the case, they are informed it’s too late to stop Cobra’s genius plan. By this point, Destro has fixed the “Molecular Reducer Enlarger” that was dropped during the initial siege of Joe headquarters (because when Cobra makes a gun it has to be as fragile as fucking glass) and uses it to try to shrink the Joes with little success, though he does manage to hit Polly, shrinking him to fly-size.

Hey Destro, your, uh, gun is a little crooked

The Joes win the fight with a good ol’ fashioned dog pile. This isn’t really important but… come on. I wasn’t NOT gonna bring it up.

Quick! Jump on him while he’s distracted by a bird!

With Destro taken care of Tripwire uses the “Molecular Reducer Enlarger” (I will never get tired of that name) to unshrink Polly and the team takes off in Cobra vehicles, totally not noticing Polly turning into a giant mutant bird as they leave the building.

Yeah, I can see how that would be easy to miss

Since Cobra stole all the Joes’ equipment it seems only fair for the heroes to return the favor. Using Cobra vehicles they proceed to blast the fuck out of their own gear in an attempt to stop Cobra before it destroys Keystone City.

That’s going to be expensive later BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES?!? EXPLOSIONS!

Being the superior pilots they all are, the team takes out most of the Cobras, but not before Cobra Commander downs Cover Girl. Surprise hero Giant Polly literally swoops in to catch her before she dies in a fiery crash! Because there is absolutely nothing weird about that, or anything else that has happened in this episode.

Polly is going to need a big-ass cracker when all this is done

Polly scares the piss out of Cobra Commander (because who the fuck wouldn’t freak out at the sight of a mutant bird?), who ejects from his jet, taking Duke with him before dropping the Joes’ leader. Wanting to keep his streak going, Polly catches him before he meets his unfortunate end with the ground. Is it bad form to have the same rescue performed twice in less than a minute?

If you ask me it looks like Polly is about to eat Duke, but that could just be my ornithobhobia talking

I guess…. Polly saved Christmas? Oh, and Keystone City, but mostly Christmas. If there is a message here, I have no fucking idea what it is. Science saves? Build a Molecular Reducer Enlarger? Turn more birds into giants because they might one day catch you as you’re falling to your death?

You know what? If this is what science leads to then fuck that noise. I quit life

In the end everyone got into the holiday spirit (except Shipwreck) and I’m preeeetty sure Cover Girl and Duke are gonna bang later. I’m also pretty sure those kids at “Children’s Hospital” are never going to see those toys.

Get some, Duke.

Jesus was nowhere to be seen in this Christmas special; not an allegory, nor a mention, not even a Christmas cross.

Not even a little Santa. The poor old guy didn’t even get referred to once. I was really hoping to see Duke in a fat suit.

Nothing gets me in the holiday spirit quite like burly men with a hard-on for patriotism and valuable life lessons, however, both of those things seem to be missing “Cobra C.L.A.W.s Are Coming to Town.” By the end of the episode I felt like the only thing I learned was that Shipwreck hates Polly and Cover Girl definitely wants in Duke’s pants (but come on, that sexual tension is in every episode). As I mentioned earlier, this is possibly the least festive Christmas special I’ve ever seen. After beginning the episode gathering toys for underprivileged kids, the Christmas theme disappears after the first 5 or so minutes, only to return in the last 2 minutes of the show. I was hoping for at least one team Christmas jingle (Polly’s garbled attempt at “Jingle Bells” doesn’t count). I wouldn’t recommend turning this particular special into a family tradition, but I do recommend giving it a watch just in case you’ve forgotten how ridiculous G.I. Joe is, because from start to finish, “Cobra C.L.A.W.s Are Coming to Town” is one of the series’ face-palmiest episodes. I’d even put it up there with “There’s No Place Like Springfield.”

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

“Cobra C.L.A.W.s Are Coming to Town” appears on the first disc of the G.I. Joe A Real American Hero Season 1.3 DVD set.  Ultimate Joe completists can also pick up the episode in the G.I. Joe Complete Collection, which contains over 2000 minutes of patriotic stupidity. Oh, and there’s also a terrible movie too.

Author Anne Lewis writes for PlayStation: The Official Magazine and knows way more about the original G.I. Joe series than her age and gender would imply. Follow her on Twitter at @BDRAnneLewis

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE XMAS SPECIAL

2010′s Dec. 24 Christmas Special
SIMPSONS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE

2009′s Dec. 24 Christmas Special
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS 

]]> http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/24/gi-joe-christmas/feed/ 3 http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/19/podcast-cartoon-christmas-music/ http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/19/podcast-cartoon-christmas-music/#comments Mon, 19 Dec 2011 10:04:29 +0000 cantista http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/?p=5173

Sit back and listen to the finest Christmas music this site has ever covered…

DOWNLOAD

Presented by Laser Time 

FEATURED CHRISTMAS SPECIALS:
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire
Batman: Christmas with The Joker
A Garfield Christmas Special
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
A Chipmunks Christmas
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol
Spongebob Squarepants in “Christmas Who?”
Community’s “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas”
Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas (soundtrack)
The Small One
George and the Star
Twas The Night Before Christmas
A Claymation Christmas
South Park
Santa Claus is Comin’ To Town
John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together
The Christmas Toy
Fraggle Rock’s “The Bells of Fraggle Rock” 

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A ROCKY & BULLWINKLE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

2010′s Dec. 19 Christmas Special
COMMUNITY “ABED’S UNCONTROLLABLE CHRISTMAS”

2009′s Dec. 19 Christmas Special
HE-MAN AND SHE-RA: A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 

]]> http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/19/podcast-cartoon-christmas-music/feed/ 3 http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/09/animaniacs-christmas/ http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/09/animaniacs-christmas/#comments Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:57:32 +0000 cantista http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/?p=4742

ANIMANIACS IN “TWAZ THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS”
Original Air Date: November 29, 1993

BACKSTORY 

Animaniacs first aired on “Fox Kids” afternoon animation block in 1993. It was the second collaboration with the channel and Steven Spielberg’s Amblin animation division. But even though the characters in Tiny Toon Adventures were clearly inspired by famous Warner Bros. stars, the Warner Siblings – Yakko, Wakko and Dot…

These guys

Are firmly rooted as spiritual successors to the cartoons brought to life by the likes of Chuck Jones and Tex Avery (even though they were designed to look like song-and-dancey, monochrome cartoon stars of the 1920s and 30s like Bosko and Felix the Cat.)

Senor Spielbergo

Animaniacs premiered three years into the Fox Kids animation block and triumphed as the network’s second highest-rated program (right behind Power Rangers.) However, the writing was on the wall – Warner Bros. was embarking on its own affiliate network, and they’d likely take their in-house animated programming with them.

Previously in Warner Bros. reinvention

As such, Fox opted not to fund a show they’d eventually lose – no matter how popular – ordered a paltry four episode second season, and reran Animaniacs for two years until they eventually made the jump to Warner Bros. own network in the “Kids WB” block.

What the duck?! The Warner sibs were originally a different beast

Given that Animaniacs was heavily influenced by the older WB theatrical shorts, the show spoofed decades’ worth of pop culture that would often go over kids’ heads. It was reported in 1995 that a fifth of the show’s one million weekly viewers were over 25-years-old, and unfortunately, that wasn’t an audience that jibbed with the Kids’ WB block, so the network’s interest in the show lessened. Funding was cut for new episodes of the still immensely popular show, and a large portion of those episodes drew from unused scripts and storyboards from the first Fox Kids season. (To put that in perspective, over 65 of Animaniacs 99 episodes, airing over five years were produced during the Season One.)

See what jokes sailed over your young heads 

The last new episode of Animanics aired in November of 1998, and went on to enjoy successful syndication on both Nickelodeon and Cartoon Network. During the height of their popularity, the Warner Siblings would star in one theatrical short (“I’m Mad” premiering before Thumbelina) and one non-theatrical film (direct-to-video Wakko’s Wish.) The series also won a Peabody, multiple Daytime Emmys, and an Annie Award for Best Television Program.

BREAKDOWN

Jesus Christ, I had no idea how much I missed Animaniacs. While there is a new Looney Tunes Show on the air right now, this 1993 show is the last animated endeavor to fully embody what made those old Warner Bros. cartoon shorts ultra-special.

The title sequence gets some added snow!

As hyper-kinetic monsters of mischief, the Warner Siblings alone arguably remain animation’s most worthy spiritual successors to Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck that I can recall.

The gang’s all here

Add to that, a lot of the zany, totally-insaney action was scored with original compositions by a 35 piece orchestra, giving it that good old Carl Stalling flavor. There’s even a direct Looney Tunes musical tribute in this episode, but I’ll get to that later…

“Citizen Kaney” – one for the kids!

With that said, I suppose I should apologize to hardcore Animaniacs fans for skipping the first Xmas special. The season 1 episode that was produced first was also Holiday themed. However, it was yet another A Christmas Carol spoof. And hey, we’ve written plenty of those up here already. (Hello, Mr. Magoo, Uncle Scrooge and Bugs Bunny.)

Deceptively begins a Slappy Squirrel cartoon

Besides, this episode featured far more variety, and I love how it takes ALL of the characters, the show had only recently established, and essentially sets up an original Christmas sketch show.

Trimminz

The episode, somewhat falsely starts out as a Slappy Squirrel short. Skippy can’t sleep, so his cantankerous steward reads him a bedtime tale entitled “The Day Before Christmas.”

Somebody must tend to the Warners’ Xmas needs

Thing is, the story takes place on the Warner lot in the present day. Somebody’s got to deliver the Warner Siblings their Christmas gifts, or it’s expected they’ll go ape shit.

Flavio and Marlita Hippo and Mr. Mime

This rhyming poem parody is pretty fucking great, and is little more than a wonderful excuse to gather all the characters from Animaniacs together, playing themselves, in one quick Christmas short!

An appearance by Rita, Runt, and an uncredited Micheal Keaton

Yep, everyone makes a brief cameo. Such as Pinky and The Brain!

“NYARF!”

The GoodFeathers are also here, whose existence only now strikes me as amazing! Imagine that pitch meeting: “Who are these kid-friendly birds based on?” “Umm… three foul-mouthed, murderous mafiosos from an R-Rated Martin Scorcese film.” “My kids love Joe Pesci – let’s do it!”

“You callin’ me festive?!”

And these poor pigeons have the most unfortaunte task of pulling the studio-appointed Santa…

That sleigh will have to be returned

Yep, Ralph “Duh-Durr” the Security guard is tasked with getting the Warners their presents. And wouldn’t you know it? Mild shenanigans ensue!

Can’t even take receiving free presents seriously

Next up, you’ve got the first of two “Good Idea, Bad Idea” Christmas shorts starring the Mr. Skullhead (who originally appeared as a decoration on Elmyra’s bowtie in Tiny Toon Adventures!) Fortuantely, the jokes are so brief and simple I can pretty much just show you my favorite.

“Finding Easter Eggs on Easter morning…”

“Finding Easter Eggs on Christmas morning…”

lol

Okay, can you name the one Animaniacs character who didn’t show up during “The Day Before Christmas?” No, Buttons and Mindy appeared briefly at Ralph’s security gate…

Can you see him?

I’ll give you a hint, the short is titled “Jingle Boo.” Yep, it’s Chicken Boo, quite possibly my least favorite Animaniac, and his holiday short unfolds out in the same quick, one-note fashion. Chicken Boo is posing as a mall Santa, completely fooling everyone. Eventually, one person catches onto the ruse…

A kid, I believe, based on Ralph Phillips, star of two celebrated 1950s Chuck Jones shorts, who appeared several times in Animaniacs

As always, the humans eventually catch on to Boo’s inexplicably scheme (usually just offering a simple service) and kick his ass right the hell out of the mall. But since it’s Christmas, Boo gets a happy ending for once…

That’s a helluva ride home

After that, Wakko belches out a stirring rendition of Jingle Bells…

Belch-belch-BLEEEEEEEETCH

“The Great Wakkorotti” sketches were clever reuses of existing Animaniacs animations, with frames and timing slightly altered to fit whatever song Wakko’s burping. You could call lit halfassed, but I never get tired of it.

And the crowd goes wild!

Okay, now it’s time for my favorite piece from the episode “Toy Shop Terror.” In this speechless short, we find the Warner siblings making mischief in a toy shop after dark…

Yakk-in-the-box

First of all, the piece contains several breathtaking animated sequences (for TV anyway) with the environment moving along with the characters…

“Not on my watch!”

But the real star of the show is Raymond Scott’s “Powerhouse” – the old Looney Tunes staple composition! Trust me, you know this song. Think of every factory sequence you’ve ever seen in a Warner Bros. short and you’ll probably be humming it instantly.

Buh-Bum-Bah! Banana-na-na-na!

The toy shop owner’s sercurity robot is, of course, foiled in the spirit of fun and we move on to a song I’m fairly certain many of you will remember.

I recall Yakko’s “Universe Song” almost verbatim, although, I don’t remember it being part of a Christmas episode…

Nothing to say, really. Just love this pic

But it’s oddly appropriate, as it reminds us how tiny we are in the scheme of the universe. Like special little snow flakes… the size of Mickey Rooney (another reference for the kids!)

And FIN

None, really. Which isn’t surprising, however, the previous Christmas episode featured a rather risky retelling of the story of Jesus Christ.

Hello, nurse! Seriously, can we get a nurse?!

I don’t care, it’s getting full Santa points for this image alone:

Like The Rocketeer, but fat and jolly

Just wonderful. Perhaps I’m a tad biased towards the classic characters Animaniacs are paying reverence to, and/or shockingly surprised by how well this 90s cartoon holds up, but I love that this is a wall-to-wall Christmas show packed with music, humor and variety. Furthermore, it’s not cynical, overly sweet, and conveys no moral lessons whatsoever. It simultaneously traditional, yet a radical departure from other Christmas specials… Far better than that semi-terrible Bugs Bunny one Chuck Jones and Friz Freleng worked on in fat. Throw it on with “The Classics” and I guarantee it’s feel like a breath of fresh air.

Tragically, Animaniacs is suffering the same fate of other fun 90s cartoons: A lack of interest. Like Darkwing Duck and TaleSpin, a handful of chronological DVD volumes were released, then discontinued before completion. It’s all the more sad once you consider these shows aren’t even played on TV anymore. Anyhoo, the first two seasons of Animaniacs are comiled into three DVD volumes, with the Christmas episodes contained on Vol. 2. Be buyin’!

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
CASPER THE FRIENDLY GHOST

2010′s Dec. 7 Christmas Special
MICKEY’S GOOD DEED

2009′s Dec. 7 Christmas Special
RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER 

]]> http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2011/12/09/animaniacs-christmas/feed/ 6 http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2010/12/24/the-simpsons-simpsons-roasting-on-an-open-fire/ http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/2010/12/24/the-simpsons-simpsons-roasting-on-an-open-fire/#comments Sat, 25 Dec 2010 00:27:33 +0000 cantista http://www.acartoonchristmas.com/?p=3143

SIMPSONS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE
Original Air Date: December 17, 1989

TV’s longest-running animated family kicks off with a Christmas bang

Not the actual episode title. Read on to find out why..

BACKSTORY:
After earning himself a grassroots fanbase, Matt Groening was approached by James L. Brooks to turn his Life is Hell comic strip characters into interstitial cartoons for The Tracy Ullman Show. Not wanting to fork over controlling rights to his original creation for an unpredictable shot at TV stardom, Groening deftly concocted a last minute idea just moments before the pitch meeting: A dysfunctional family named after members of his own immediate family.

The stars of Life in Hell and their creator

The first Simpsons short premiered on April 19, 1987, and it’s hard to say whether or not it was a hit, since few people were even watching the then fledgling Fox network.

The original Simpsons designs were allegedly crude because the animators simple traced Groening’s concept drawings

Either way, faith in the property led to the decision to give The Simpsons their own half hour show in 1989. Unfortunately, difficulties in the animation’s production caused numerous delays and the series fell short of its fall premiere. It was decided that the show would debut that Christmas, and an appropriate episode was selected to unveil The Simpsons to the world on December 17, 1989.

Almost everything a fan could want

At close to 500 episodes, The Simpsons holds the record of being the longest running American cartoon show and the longest running sitcom in television history. Time magazine called it “the best show of the century,” and the program has since gone on to win twenty-seven Emmys, a prestigious Peabody award, produce one theatrically-released film, video games, a Universal Studios theme park ride, and a billion dollar merchandising empire.

BREAKDOWN:
I won’t pretend for a second that a majority of you people haven’t seen this thing. This is for those of you who bitch every December when “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” comes on instead of a regular episode that’s either newer, or easier for you and your buddies to quote.

Right up there with a crooked tree and shooting your eye out

But we owe so fucking much to The Simpsons! Apologies if I’m restating the obvious, but it changed the shape of television programing, and it brought animation back to prime time in a way that hadn’t been done since The Flintstones.

Bart and Lisa write their emancipation letters to Santa

Oh yeah, and the way you and your buddies joke in forums, and internet comedy in general? You’re pretty much Xeroxing beats established in the first fucking episode of one of television’s longest running institutions.

Decorative fizzle

Quite simply, you’re not a Simpsons fan unless you know this Christmas special by heart. Add to that, a true fan will find so much cool shit to see here.

Behold: Characters that’d never be seen again! Click to enlarge

Read not a word I have to write other than this: You’ll be astounded by just how much The Simpsons established in their inaugural full-blown episode, and we’re talking stuff that would eventually become series staples for the next twenty years. Familiar settings and the first appearances of many characters and themes abound here, so have a look:

Boo-urns! Smithers isn’t seen, but he’s heard on an intercom

Patty and Selma

Principal Seymour Skinner

Ralph Wiggum

Todd Flanders

The Happy Little Elves!

Snowball II

And of course…

Santos L. Halper

However… if it looks like The Simpsons Christmas ep hit the ground running, it’s because Simpsons Roasting On an Open Fire was actually the 8th episode produced for the show’s first season.

This always bothered me. It’s as if I’m being forced to look at Lisa’s Va-JayJay

There’s no opening sequence, chalkboard and/or couch gags (although you can still hear variations on Danny Elfman’s Simpsons theme,) but I love that you can clearly see a vision set in place for the show… even though everything looks a tad rudimentary when compared to how the show’s looked for the last two decades.

The tattoo sequence is classic Simpsons all the way

And it should be noted that the first season was animated by Klasky Csupo, best known for Rugrats, and that style is fairly evident here, so feel free to blame them. Here’s some stuff they hadn’t quite nailed yet:

Moe’s hair is jet black, and his bar’s interior is blue

Barney is blond, or perhaps The Simpsons’ equivalent of albino

Lewis changes from black to white like an alien shapeshifter!

Facepalm! Marge’s necklace is occasionally white

But they worked it all out eventually. Fandom aside, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” is the reason other Christmas specials feel slow and phony to so many of you. Matt Groening has stated it was his intention to make an antidote to the “mainstream trash” then polluting the airwaves, but even through its infancy and 20 years worth of hindsight, the special has more than earned the right to be called groundbreaking on every conceivable level.

“Ow! Quit it. [repeat]“

As stupid and unfounded as The Simpsons controversy appears when looking back, it was there for a reason. (Although I truly hope both the press and moral police who were outraged back then feel as dumb as we perceived both then and now.)

Can’t afford a tree? Steal one!

While most of the ire was focused on the ill-behaved and foul mouthed Bart, a never-before-depicted portrait of youth, I think what really bothered folks was that the Simpson family was a much more honest portrayal of American life than anything that’d been seen before on TV.

Coveting thy neighbor (Click to enlarge)

Sure the show’s mostly satirical slapstickery these days, but I still believe the early episode’s authentic take on middle class life cut like a knife through a populace weaned on idealized sitcoms and sanitized subversity.

Pain

Your dad’s a drunk idiot whose job sucks as much as he does at it. Your son is a career D student with little hope for the future. Your mother is naively co-dependent and your prodigal middle child is consistently ignored. Oh and there’s a baby in there somewhere.

The star suit went on to almost define Maggie even though she’s only worn it a handful of times

Without a laugh track tossed in there to tell people how to feel about the Simpsons’ heartbreakingly genuine scenarios – the first season alone dealing with repeating a grade, marital infidelity, and fucking suicide! –  I’m guessing many TV viewers had no idea what was a joke and what was condemnation.

Because not all families get along. Not even at Christmas!

There’s nothing fake about Homer’s Christmas bonus getting cut and his not being able to afford presents for the family, which we all probably know too well now, after living through one of the worst economic periods in our country’s history.

A shit job, but Homer has to do it

I still find Bart’s assumption that his mother will beam with pride at the site of her name tattooed on his arm hilarious, but the way its surgical removal cuts out Marge’s Xmas present budget too… it’s technically no different than an unexpected car repair or a trip to the emergency room: That shit happens.

LIFE!

Unlike other specials, there’s no hope, no shot at a Christmas miracle on the horizon – the family’s pretty much fucked, and grows ever more so (comedically!) following each and every attempt to salvage some sort of Christmas.

Cursing in front of kids. Fun, but it’ll cost you

Like Homer’s frustrating necessity to get a job as a mall Santa just to make extra cash, I too know the tear-inducing anger of busting your ass for a minimum wage paycheck, desperately needed for an immediate goal, only to find it chipped away to nearly nothing by taxes and cruelly hidden costs.

Definitely an unlucky number

And while I’ve never had to bet my Christmas on a dog race, I love that Homer’s situation essentially is so screwed beyond repair, and that Bart has become so unwittingly aware of it, he no longer cares about any stigma involved with talking his kid to the dog track to hang out with degenerates and alcoholics on Christmas Eve. As if to say “May as well prepare the boy, his future’s looking no better than mine.”

Kiss the ticket

Of course, they bet on the losingest mutt in town, but at least they get to take him home as a consolation prize! You know, I’ve always wondered why the lower income households I grew up around kept procuring animals when they can barely afford to feed themselves, but I realize now that it’s pretty much the cheapest gift you can give when you’ve got nothing else.

Desperate times, even more pathetic measures

For me, Lisa’s response is enough to validate the gift Homer didn’t even know he was giving. After all, aren’t pets are constantly uplifting… despite technically being a ten to fifteen year investment. But hey, the interest isn’t all that different from what you’ll pay with a credit card. Plus they’re way easier to get for the poverty stricken, and unlike debt, they’ll eventually die.

“All right, A dog! Way to go, Dad”

Some, but almost all of it exudes from the aura of Ned Flanders, Springfield’s mustachioed embodiment of Christ!

You’ll find several dozen approximations during Homer’s mall training, which just so happens make for some of the funniest moments in the entire episode.

I find this image alone hysterical

Just wonderful. I used to groan when this episode ran instead of something from the later seasons, but part of that was because I taped it (despite never once seeing The Tracey Ullman Show?) and watched it a billion times, sometimes daily. That was a long time ago. In terms of Christmas entertainment, simply calling “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” a “new classic” still feels like underselling it. (I’m baffled as to why Fox doesn’t run annually along the lines of A Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, in lieu of literally nothing else!) Every moment is immensely enjoyable, and even the ones that come off shaky offer a treasure trove of nerdy, historical value. Watch it to see how clear and confident the showrunners were with the comedic voice they were pioneering. Watch it to see how The Simpsons kick started a new movement of mainstream adult animation and entertainment in general. Watch it because it’s still awesome after two decades dammit!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

“Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” is available on The Simpsons: The Complete First Season, as well as the standalone The Simpsons Christmas DVD with several other Holiday-flavored episodes, like the phenomenal “Mr. Plow” and “Miracle of Evergreen Terrace.” (Of course, I encourage all fans to get the Season DVD sets, as they’re loaded with rarities, deleted scenes and commentary on every episode.) But if you just want to narrow it to The Simpsons and Christmas, here’s another disc for ya: The Simpsons Christmas 2.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A GARFIELD CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 24th Christmas Special
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS!

You’ve may’ve seen Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer over a billion times, but unless you’re over the age of 45, you’ve NEVER seen this…

When Hermey’s boss isn’t dressing down elves, he also hocks vacuums

One thing that sucks about being a completist dork is that you’ll never truly be able to see older Christmas specials exactly as they originally aired. Back before I was born, it wasn’t uncommon to see the show’s stars interacting directly with their sponsor’s products during commercial breaks. I’m sure you’ve all seen The Flintstones hocking Winston cigarettes, right?

I understand that these older sponsorships no longer have much of a place on today’s TV airwaves, but I still think nerds like me should certainly have the right to see them. And while I bitched more about the lost footage of the Peanuts interacting with Coca-Cola in my write up on A Charlie Brown Christmas, this is arguably cooler (And older by one year!)

This is ridiculously amazing find. I love the internet!

Common Knowledge: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was largely underwritten by General Electric back in 1964, and while the stellar DVD and Blu-Ray releases do contain almost all the footage, and additional footage from the special, they’ve been sorely lacking this heaving dollop of awesome sauce you see above!

This character is known only as “Tall Elf” in the special

You may’ve heard that Rudolph premiered under The General Electric Fantasy Hour, but I personally had just assumed it originally aired with a couple of “Brought to you by” bumpers and that would be it. Not so!

Can’t believe print ads have been archived better than actual footage that undoubtedly involved many more people and was much more expensive to produce

Not only was the sponsored footage produced by Rankin/Bass themselves, it stars the characters from the special, voiced by the same actors, singing the praises of sensational new products of the day!

Too cool for conventional ovens

Say what you will about the ethicality of classic characters used to pitch housewares, you can’t ignore the fact that the models used are undoubtedly heirlooms and this newly discovered footage amounts to almost ten minutes of footage, the world has never seen before!

This company makes nuclear power plants now?!

Seriously, how cool is this?! I especially love the whimsical nature of the products showcased here, as they’re so adorable in their attempts at being futuristic, you’d probably think they were parodies. That is, if these weren’t very, very real.

Batshit nuts about all things General Electric!

I know more footage like this has to exist for other specials, so I encourage anyone working in television archives or old enough to have been involved in these productions to hop the hell on YouTube right quick! I can give you a 80% guarantee you won’t be sued.

Lay your sacrifice at the feet of the GE sappling!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us and support the Site!)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer appears on an ultra affordable standalone DVD, but with no notable bonus features to speak of, I’d have to recommend The Original Christmas Classics Boxed set. The price is a steal, plus it contains six more classic Christmas specials, including other Rankin/Bass stop motion classics like The Little Drummer Boy and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. And I can’t recommend the Holiday Figurine set enough. Featuring almost all of Rudolph‘s primary cast, I propose that this become every atheist’s annual nativity scene. High-def owners will also want to check out the new Rudolph Blu-ray, which in spite of what you might think, truly astounds!

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
GEORGE AND THE CHRISTMAS STAR

2009′s Dec. 22th Christmas Special
MICKEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL

‘TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: Dec 8, 1974

Skepticism nearly derails the holidays, but eventually guilt and blind faith save the day for humans and mice alike…

BACKSTORY:

The Rankin/Bass production company owns approximately 17% of your Christmas memories with the one-two punch of classics Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. And since those were so successful, they just kept on making new ones, each with speaking parts of notable stars of the time, such as Mickey Roonie Angela Lansbury, and Buddy Hackett. They were the Dreamworks Animation of their time, in that they kept making celebrity-fueled works that were small variations on the same story.

By 1974, Rankin/Bass was pretty into the swing of things, and for that year’s X-Mas cartoon jubilee, the team looked to one of the earliest works of popular American prose. The poem is titled “A Visit From St. Nicholas” no matter how much popular perception thinks it’s “‘Twas the night before Christmas,” and it basically solidified our perceptions of who Santa was. It gave a detailed description of what we all know about Santa now, his sleigh flying in on eight reindeer that were named in the same poem; it describes how one lucky guy witnessed the magical man pop into his home, friendly as could be, to give toys out of his sack to everyone.

Don’t be afraid, it’s not offensive

Heck, “A Visit from St. Nicholas” could even be called the first American Christmas special even if it wasn’t animated. Every Santa-based Christmas cartoon you’ve seen owes so much to that poem and what it started that it seems only fitting to make a special based around it. But first we’re going to need a family of talking mice and a Broadway actor.

BREAKDOWN:

It all starts simple enough. We pull in on an American, pre-Civil war home on a snowy night. We hear Joel Grey, who’s most famous as the host in the Oscar-winning Cabaret and for fathering Jennifer Grey of Dirty Dancing fame (and here you thought he was gay), recite the beginning of the poem. Here’s what kids look like dreaming of sugar plums:

Why show us their dream sugar plums? It’s not like this is a cartoon or anything

And Ma in her kerchief while the father reads a multi-page bound book used that holds a 56 verse poem.

So in their world the poem exists and yet it’s about to happen to them too? Plus, the book has the wrong title

But that simple premise is quickly thrown out the window to introduce some cute mice into the picture. Yup, this human family lives with a matching mouse family that owns small furniture and everything.

They even have tiny mice editions of the same book

It’s stupid to question the reality of something that climaxes with the eventual appearance of Santa Claus, but this is just silly. This special is only 25 minutes long and you immediately clutter it with two separate families and plotlines? So anyway, things are dire on X-Mas Eve for the mice and the humans. In a slightly creepy way, Father Mouse calls the human father “the boss,” which conjures a kind of agreed upon slave/master situation in this society.

Just because you dress like your oppressor doesn’t make you guys friends, Father Mouse

By the way, what kind of name is that, Father Mouse? Anyway, the troubles began two months earlier, when some mail got delivered to the families in the fictional town of Junctionville.

Does everyone in this world walk around with their mouse doppelganger? So many questions about this strange earth

Every person in town gets their letters to Santa returned to them, and I mean every person, kids and parents alike, sent Santa their usual letter asking for stuff and now it had been returned to them unopened. Everyone in Junctionville is sad and confused by this seemingly unwarranted passive-aggressive action by Claus, but Father Mouse is gonna get to the bottom of it by calling up the North Pole.

Nobody writes jokes for the person-to-person phone operator anymore

Seriously? Mice not only have a complex, clothes wearing society, but they have their own phone companies that in the mid-1800s can call the North Pole? The Christmas mouse on the other end explains to Father Mouse that Santa is pretty mad at the town because of a letter published in their newspaper that called into doubt his very existence. So the giving spirit of Christmas turns on an entire town of believers because of one doubting letter? This Santa is pretty Old Testament.

Confused protesters attack the government because of superstitions

Meanwhile in the human world, the lazy bureaucrats that run the town want to fix things but don’t want to put any work into doing so (what a comment on our society!). Eventually Father Human, or Mr. Trundle as he’s sometimes called, shows up and explains that he’s got a plan to make Santa love them again: making the town clock sing a song praising Santa.

“And the imprisoned singing children would go inside…”

That quick fix is okayed and tons of taxpayer dollars are thrown away on a whim to impress St. Nick. At the same time the mouse family pours over their collection of old, human-sized newspapers to find the offending letter.

And where and how do they store all those newspapers?

The letter in question, signed “all of us,” calls out Santa as a dangerous myth and the reindeer as phony. After thinking it over, the family realizes that the use of long words in the letter could only lead to one person, apparently the only individual in town that reads… the mouse family’s own son, Albert. The family confronts Albert, accusing him of hurting Santa’s widdle feelings, and Albert is proud to have done so and stands by his words still.

Nerds before the internet

I’m all for not believing in stuff, and Atheism is probably the easiest belief system there is. But if I wrote a letter saying God is a superstition and then everyone I knew got stamped letters back from God saying I was a dick, I think my doubts would waver a tad. Regardless, Albert still believes Santa is a lie, perhaps the root of some global conspiracy, and is then chewed out in song form for thinking too much and believing too little. It’s one of the least Christmas-y songs ever to be in a Christmas special, which is probably why it’s usual cut for time in most TV airing.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

But the guilt trip isn’t over. Father Mouse takes Albert all over town Ghost of Christmas Present-style to show him all the pain his lack of belief caused. Actual line: “Here’s our first example of how you ruined everyone’s Christmas with your opinions.” Jeez Rankin/Bass, did your kids just come home from their first semester of college or something?

“See Albert, just do what we tell ya and the orphans will stop crying”

Albert still persists that grown-ups don’t believe in Santa, so Father Mouse proves him wrong by showing Al the clock Mr. Trundle is making for Santa. But instead of shutting the unbeliever up, he’s instead fascinated by how the complex machine works. A little too fascinated…

Ain’t no party like a clock starting party!

There’s a big party to celebrate the clock’s completion, but once Mr. Trundle cuts the ribbon that somehow starts the clock, the whole thing falls apart to the shock and dismay of everyone. The mayor probably has the best reaction:

“ZOUNDS!”

The public embarrassment ruins Mr. Trundle. People don’t want his clocks anymore and he’s forbidden from fixing the broken town clock. Pretty soon his whole family is starving to death, as are the mice that depend on their crumbs.

Mice have society with phones, clothes, corrective lenses, and tiny books but still subsist off of garbage dropped on the floor?

The whole family is ready to give up and die on Christmas Eve, until Joel Grey bursts into the most memorable part of the whole special, the song Even a Miracle Needs a Hand. Taking a message similar to the recent Princess and the Frog, he sings about how you can wish and hope, but you’ve gotta work your ass off to get something great  done.

Here’s the song in case you’ve never heard it

It’s a really swell song and is the best part of the whole thing. Also since you just watched the clip, it’s worth noting that many of these old specials were animated by some Japanese artists who went on to become part of Studio Ghibli, makers of Totoro and many other esteemed anime classics. And while the animation is pretty sub-par most of the time, you occasionally see flashes of what they could really do:

Here’s the most Ghibli-esque scene in the cartoon

But not so much, this:

LOLGobbleLOL

Of course the real point of the song is to poor just a little bit more guilt on the too-smart-for-his-own-good Albert. Him seeing the Trundles happy in the face of adversity, he admits to his dad through tears that he wanted to see how the clock worked and in doing so broke it, as his damned inquisitiveness nearly killed his entire family. He says he’s sorry but that’s not good enough for Father Mouse, so Al decides he’s going to fix it all by himself in the matter of hours left before Christmas. His dad just lets him walk off on his own into this dark, snowy night to work with machinery that’d be too big one for one man, let alone a child mouse. I’m just saying he’s a great dad is all.

Hahaha, he almost died!

As Albert runs off, Father Mouse goes to apologize on behalf of his son. This was the part that just breaks the whole special for me. They had set up that while they knew of each other’s existence the mouse and human world’s were pretty separate. Now all of a sudden they can talk to one another with no explanation. “Oh did we forget to mention that mice talk and converse often with humans? Oh well, no time to explain now.”

“Thanks talking mouse, your words are of great comfort. Also, stop chewing holes in my walls please.”

That brings us back to before, as it is still the night before Christmas, but only for a few minutes longer. Then the last comes and goes, breaking the timed honored rule of a countdown ending at the last second. But a couple seconds later Albert gets the clock going and the song praising Santa strokes his ego enough to have his pull a u-turn in his sleigh and head back.

Not the usual R&B Santa. No mustache!

Then comes what the audience had long been waiting for as Joel Grey reads the rest of the poem in it’s entirety, including  “the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow, gave the luster of midday to the objects below.” Once that starts the ending is pretty rote, as families both mouse and human watch Santa get down to business.

A short, filthy stranger gets to work

It’s off-putting at first, but I give R/B credit for making this Santa more of an enigma. Because he has so few lines he isn’t their normal talkative Santa who explains plot points while hugging lost children and elves. He’s just a weird, diminutive creature that people can only watch in amazement. He speaks with actions, whether winking:

Santsual harrassment

Smoking:

Somebody think of the children!

And laying a finger aside of his nose, a seemingly random act that continues to confuse children to this day:

Totally different from “thumbing your nose” at something

That dealt with, Santa rides off, and doesn’t even apologize for doubting Junctionville’s heart.

Ho x3

Meanwhile Albert’s learns that maybe all the answers aren’t in books and we can assume Mr. Trundle’s business gets back on track, but honestly you’ll never know, because the cartoon ends immediately after the last line of the poem.

Wait, has anybody seen my pocket watch?

No real references to religion, save for a line about pleasing your maker in the Miracles song. Still it gets slight credit for spending so long attempting to make non-believers feel bad.

Santa is pretty central to the plot here, even if you don’t see him till the end. And I give R/B credit for not recycling an old design. Still, Santa acts like a real jerk in the beginning then just shows up smiling and giving just seconds later. Can you say manic-depressive?

This one felt like it was an hour long special cut to 25 minutes. There’s barely any time to build any spirit, and the amount of time spent making a kid feel bad for having opinions seems counter to all the warm feelings Christmas is supposed to bring. Still, it’s hard to argue with an unabridged reciting of one of the most defining works of Christmas cheer doesn’t bring some spirit to the whole thing, so I’ll just say it breaks even.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Although ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas never gets top billing, it appears as a bonus on numerous Rankin/Bass DVDs, the cheapest being bundled with Frosty’s Winter Wonderland. However, you’ll get a bigger bang for your Christmas buck purchasing it in the Classic Christmas Favorites set, as it comes also comes with How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey and a slew of others making for a total of 10 specials! These Rankin/Bass collections are tricky since they come in and out of print every holiday, but the aforementioned set is a ridiculously good value and I feel this is the last Christmas it’ll be available. Having said that, even though it doesn’t contain ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, The Original Christmas Classics DVD box set packs in a bunch of different Rankin/Bass favorites the other sets don’t such as Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town and Frosty the Snowman.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A SPONGEBOB CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

2009′s Dec. 18th Christmas Special
REN & STIMPY: STIMPY’S FIRST FART

EMMET OTTER’S JUG-BAND CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: 1977

A poor otter family struggles to make their musical Christmas wishes come true

[UPDATE: I've posted the entire Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas soundtrack here for your listening/downloading pleasure. Get it while ya can!]

BACKSTORY:

Many are unaware that Emmet Otter’s Jung-Band Christmas is based off a book by Russell Hoban, published in 1971.

A picture from the book, but it may as well be a storyboard

Perhaps that’s because the Christmas special directed by Jim Henson mirrors both the story and look so well, it might’ve all but replaced the source material within the public consciousness. Even the memorable certain songs written by Paul Williams come from fully fleshed out references and titles from the book.

On right, Henson and Frank Oz, who puppeteered  Ma Otter

This one-hour special was produced for HBO during a break between The Muppet Show’s first and second season. Since then it has aired on ABC and Nickelodeon. Unfortunately, not only is the special shown less frequently these days, in every subsequent airing and home video release it has also suffered various edits, additions and omissions to its original runtime.

A Home Video release and the musical stage production

However, The Jim Henson Company and Godspeed Opera House recently revived the special in the form of a live stage musical in 2008, featuring people in costumes and many recognizable versions of the original puppets.

BREAKDOWN

Without a doubt one of the greatest Christmas Specials of all time, and a heartwarming showcase of everything that makes the Jim Henson company special. It’s down to earth, tragic, musical, then soulfully uplifting by the end. That said… it sucks to kick this article on a sour note, but here ya go:

What you won’t be seeing anymore

Kermit the Frog. More than likely, that’s how most of you remember seeing it. Tragically, due to The Muppets acquisition by Disney, you’ll probably never see it that way again. Kermit’s intros, outros, and narration have been removed from the all recent and currently available versions of Emmet Otter on DVD.

“There Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub“

Although, to be fair, the special has rarely appeared as it originally aired on HBO, so we’ll look at some of the edits as we go. Plus, it’d be a shame if harping on a couple of negatives got in the way of celebrating, not only one of the finest thing Jim Henson has ever produced, but one of the more beautiful Christmas productions ever cobbled by puppet-engulfed hands.

Even the animal kingdom has no-goodniks

And I do not say that lightly. Emmet Otter took a few years to take hold. As a child, I didn’t find the look of all too enticing and had little patience for musical numbers. But it eventually grew on me, to the point where I found my last viewing over far too quickly. Understand this: When I call Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas absolutely phenomenal, I’m saying that from the perspective of someone who did not watch it repeatedly as a kid, but as an adult who hadn’t seen it in many years.

These Muppets have legs

Of course, being a little older helps one fully appreciate the technical scale on which the whole production was pulled off. Song composer, Paul Williams has stated that Emmet Otter was produced almost as preparation for the impending Muppet Movie, and it really, really shows. Whereas The Muppet Show used static sets (apropos of a production themed as a variety show) the camera in Emmet is constantly moving, framing seemingly impossible shots that’ll still leave the viewer asking the question, “How the hell did they do that?!”

This is how they did that

You’re looking at a far more elaborate production here, and it’s not only perhaps the first time Henson employed remote control puppeteering, it’s one of the only times marionettes were used in a Muppet production! Right from the start, the special wows you with scenes of Emmet and his mother Alice rowing a boat down a river, and the technical feats like these remain as astonishing as ever, IMO.

Remote animatronics were used for the mouths and heads, but the boat is actually rowing Emmet

But let’s not ignore the story! The scenes in the boat are also the heart of the interaction between two characters coping with the loss of a father and a husband. They laugh, sing, and make jokes. But the harsh reality is that they’re barely scrapping by, doing odd jobs around Frogtown Hollow due to the death of Emmet’s dad.

Foxy lady

We see the mayor’s wife screw Emmet’s mom out of a laundry bill in one of the very first scenes. This is also one of the first bizarre edits done to the production over the years. As Gretchen Fox walks away after denying payment, Alice had originally told her to go “jump in a lake!” The edit wouldn’t be a huge deal, except that it rather abruptly cuts to Will Possum saying “That’s tellin’ her, Alice.”

Gorgeous

Without the lake comment, it looks like he’s saying “Way to go, you spineless coward.” instead of the “That sucks, but you still showed her,” aside it was intended to be. Emmet and Alice move past the shady transaction, singing that no matter how bad it all gets, at least there “Ain’t No Hole in the Washtub,” kicking off one of the many unforgettable songs in Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas, as well as foreshadowing events to come.

With pearl inlay!

As it turns out, the Otter family is pretty screwed out of a decent Christmas this year. After stopping by a music store, both get the idea of giving each other musical instruments they could never afford. Emmet wants to put a down payment on a piano for Ma, and she desperately wants to purchase him a used guitar. Oh, yeah and it’s here we first meet the River Bottom Gang.

Here comes trouble

Both shrug off the items as hopeless luxuries they could never possibly afford, that is, until opportunity presents itself. There’s a talent show coming up featuring and prize money to the tune of $50! Which is a practical fortune down in Frogtown Hollow.

A Washtub band? Genius!

They entertain the prospect of participating, and we’ve seen that the Otters clearly have the musical chops to place in the competition. But once again, their financial situation denies them dreams of entering the low rent puppet version of American idol.

They weren’t lyin’ about the lack of holes

Ma seems to think she wouldn’t be able to present herself at the talent show without a new dress, yet the only way she can get the money needed for one on such short notice is to hock Pa’s old tools, which Emmet still uses to perform odd jobs for extra cash.

“But what if there was a hole in the washtub?”

Emmet’s dilemma is far more prickly one indeed. He’s approached to join -surprise! – a jug band, yet gets assigned to the worst possible instrument: The Washtub Bass. To do that, he’d have to… well, they just spent five minutes thanking the dear lord Jesus that “there ain’t no hole in the washtub!”

Doesn’t Emmet look weird without his hat on?

Obviously, that song was a bit of a metaphor pertaining to being thankful for the things they do have. Or maybe that’s just the way Emmet interprets it, because he goes and destroys the one thing his family has left shamble-free, all in the name of music most fine.

Don’t feel bad, Ma lightly screws over Emmet too

Of course, both eventually find each other backstage at the talent show, but not a word is spoken about the things they’ve sold or broken to get there.

Barbeque!

Don’t try and tell yourself each other’s deeds didn’t occur to them. As a family who has so very little, I’m pretty sure they would’ve noticed fairly quickly what one another had done once it came time to fix or wash something.

Fuck foxes, there I said it

Yet instead of bitching or making accusations, they both root for one another and provide the much-needed support to perform at the talent show. And, oh yeah, Ma gets up there and really belts it out.

Only a frumpy fashionista could tell that’s a new dress

But let’s be honest, and maybe I’m just speaking for the guys my age with no children, but c’mon: We’re pulling for Emmet! Let’s see what he’s up against:

Spastically dancing squirrels? Shouldn’t be too tough to beat

Not sure why, but these dancing bunnies have been cut out of more than one version of Emmet Otter. Odd, because I’ve had the cornball vaudeville tune stuck in my head ever since

Wait? Who’s this guy?!

Oh crap! That dickheaded possum is singing the very same BBQ song Emmet and his buddies had been practicing to perform. Rather than give up, they tear the roof off the fucker, to thunderous applause.

Fucking love this song, but YouTube wouldn’t let me post it! (UPDATE: I’ve gone ahead and posted the entire Emmet Otter soundtrack because I’m a goddamned renegade! Listen/Download here)

Given crowd response to the other acts, you’d assume either Emmet or Alice Ma are a shoe in to take home the prize. But trouble has another name: The River Bottom Nightmare Band.

RIVER BOTTOM NIGHTMARE BAND

In any other situation Muppets performing prog-rock would be the greatest thing in the world. But it just so happens these plushie thugs, who have spent the majority of their screen time treating Frogtown Hollow like a toilet, steal the prize right out from under the Otters.

They should get an award just for teaching a snake to play bass

Fucking SIGH! Ma and the Frogtown Jubilee Jug-Band sulk home, penniless, presentless, prideless.

This should never have happened

Okay, that last “less” isn’t all that true, because if there’s one thing the Otter family knows how to do well, it’s make the best of an utterly depressing situation.

Two songs are better than one

While wondering what they could’ve done differently back at the talent show, the get an epiphany: Combine both their songs together a into one enormous, skullcrushing Supersong!

“Damn! Why didn’t you do that an hour ago?”

The ditty captures the attention of the people in the city, and better still, Doc Bullfrog has a change of heart. He can’t take the talent show prize money back and I don’t blame him. Would you risk your life and limb demanding a refund from a band of aggressive animals with nothing to lose? Didn’t think so!

The next best thing to a record deal

But he does score the newly formed supergroup a gig performing at his restaurant on a regular basis. It’s better than a prize or a handout; it’s a steady paycheck for the first time since Pa passed.

Sadly, the DVDs also cuts Kermit’s appearance in the restaurant

No more laundry jobs gone bad, and I’m pretty sure a “professional musician” can afford all the used guitars they’d ever want. Yes, even with pearl inlay!

I’ve always considered Henson stuff to be pretty nonreligious, The Bells of Fraggle Rock being ample proof of that, but not even the original songs contain any reference to the savior or even Christmas.

Nope… I wish I had a joke here, but I find the fact that Santa doesn’t visit rural otters desperately in need of Christmas cheer too depressing.

I can’t say enough nice things about Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas. Trust me, plenty of time had passed between my last viewing and now, so I went in with glasses 100% free of rose tint. Jug-Band Christmas still won me over on every conceivable level. The whole production remains a marvelous technical feat, and I can’t think of any other special chock this full of charm, hope and lessons on the strength you can find through depending on others. Honestly, I just wish I could hug everyone involved in the project. If you take nothing else away from the childish text I’ve vomited on rest of this page, remember this: You should really watch Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas.

Oh yeah, and this blooper reel might be The Greatest Thing on the Internet!

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas is available on DVD, albeit with the Kermit footage completely removed. However, the special contains several short sequences that haven’t appeared on other home video releases, and any scene missing is available to watch in the ample bonus features which include a behind-the-scenes documentary and the Outakes video embedded above. Assuming you’re willing to take a chance on Otter, I strongly encourage – no… I beg you, to pick up the version bundled with Jim Henson’s equally stellar Holiday special, The Christmas Toy for just a few pennies more. Oh, and before you go and call Disney mean names for not allowing Kermit to appear in Emmet Otter, I invite you to see what the previous, out-of-print versions featuring the famous Frog are going for on the Amazon Marketplace. You’ll get an idea of what he’s worth.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A VERY VENTURE CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 15th Christmas Special
SANTA CLAUS IS COMIN’ TO TOWN

TALESPIN – A JOLLY MOLLY CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: December 7, 1990

Baloo, Louie and the gang battle pirates and a fiercely tropical climate to realize Molly and Rebbecca’s dreams of Christmas snow

BACKSTORY:

Following the television cartoon boom of the eighties, Disney felt it high time to entire into the medium. And following the success of Gummi Bears, DuckTales, and Chip n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers, the beloved characters of The Jungle Book made their way onto the “Disney Afternoon” in the form of Disney’s TaleSpin.

Rudyard Kipling’s jazzy characters from 1990 to 1967

The television investment – featuring higher-quality budgets and animations, paid off for Disney in a big way – both in revitalizing older characters and in transitioning its “smaller” adventures found in Disney Comics into a burgeoning medium.

After school as known by my generation

TaleSpin premiered in 1990 after Disney proved it could successfully provide affiliate stations with a two block of animation under the branding of “The Disney Afternoon,” and the show would go on to win an Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program.

BREAKDOWN:

So unbelievably glad I could finally grab something from the Disney Afternoon stable to write about on A Cartoon Christmas! Compared to the rather cheap, motionless cartoons airing daily on television, Disney took the format to new heights, featuring relatively fluid animation and it seemed Disney comic line had left the writers well trained in presenting plots that weren’t completely asinine.

Rebbecca dreams of a white Christmas

As much as I’d hoped for something from the earlier Disney Afternoon block – prefereably DuckTales or Chip n’ Dale’s Rescue Rangers – TaleSpin is the first evidence I found of a syndicated Disney Christmas. Not that that’s a bad thing – I love TaleSpin! Come to think, how could you not? Listen to that theme song!

Once I even got a TaleSpin Happy Meal Toy, fashioned it into a Christmas ornament, and despite some protest, my Mom still sticks that fucker on the tree each and every year.

Oh, the rain outside if frightful

Personal anecdotes aside, this episode is actually a pretty damned sturdy Christmas special in and of itself. Regardless of what you may think of the story, or the warping of Baloo and the rest of The Jungle Book crew into cargo entrepreneurs, this is a warm and subdued Holiday special, featuring a fully orchestrated score throughout.

Wildcat, as dumb as the show gets

The episode kicks off with a melancholy narration from Rebbecca (voiced Sally Struthers, a lady who knows a thing or two about tugging on heart strings) yearning for snow this Christmas. Turns out the tropical shipping port Cape Suzette doesn’t get much powder around this time of year.

Kit Cloudkicker barely gets a line this episode

Little Molly breaks a Candy Cane, but before she can burst into tears over Baloo tells here to stick a peppermint shard under her pillow, and the Candy Cane Fairy…

Of course he forgets

Baloo’s absentmindedness leaves Molly’s faith shaken; if she can’t depend on the Candy Cane Fairy to deliver a nickel’s worth of sugar, how the hell is she supposed to believe in Santa Claus?

“I suppose this is bullshit too?!”

Baloo jumps into damage control and phones up an old friend. He decides to forgo his shipment of Soap powder to enact one of the greatest Holiday fabrications ever concocted in the history of alternate Disney histories!

Why would anyone question it?

Baloo promises to take Molly to see Santa personally, and following a quick retrofitting of Louie’s Place, Molly’s off to see the “North Pole” before Rebbecca can return from her last minute Christmas shopping.

Honestly, we didn’t just fly next door

Molly walks into the TaleSpin’s familiar watering hole, but something’s a little different…

This shit is bananas

Looks as if Santa’s workshop has outsourced its toy cobbling to an un-unionized group of primates lead by none other than…

Looks oddly like the alien from American Dad

Oh yes, King Louie! Fresh from moonlighting as a bar owner, the proud King of Swing now dons the suit and beard of Santa Claus.

This… could get groovy

Louie attempts to shower Molly with every tropically-themed toy he and his band of orangutans could put together, but it looks as if she’s only got one Christmas wish in mind.

Through all the theatrics, Louie forgets to read Molly’s letter

More than anything else this December 25th, Molly desperately wants to give her mom the gift of snow she sought after in the opening. Well, it looks like Baloo and Kit Cloudkicker are gonna have to step this ruse up a notch.

Must a Pirate’s Life condemn us to a lifetime of Hanukkah?!

Meanwhile, Don Karnage’s motley gang of imbecilic pirates are also morosely demanding a Christmas of their own. Karnage, hypothesizes that as pirates, their job is to be bad, which means by duty they’ve been good… so yeah, they’re deserving of a little Christmas cheer, too.

Rain means you don’t have to do your job

Back in Cape Suzette, Rebbecca gets wise to Baloo’s plan, but how can she not fulfill the wish of her daughter when all she desires is to make her Mom happy? So devoted to realizing Molly’s Holiday whim, she’s willing to not only forget about Baloo’s late shipment of powdered soap, she’s willing to dump it across the bay in a faux snowy gesture. That’s commitment to your child!

Starting to like them better than elves, actually

On the flipside of things, Louie’s Place patrons are getting tired of waiting outside as the monkey cohorts do their best to uphold the Yuletide lie. These animated alcoholics are so desperate to get their fix, they’re willing to bust down the door of the very place the claim to love.

Give us our booze, dammit!

Obviously, the snow flake crew has to make haste, but unfortunately, they run afoul of Don Karnage and his quest for Merry Holiday mirth.

Guns? In a Disney cartoon?!

Oh hell yeah! PEW-PEW-PEW

Not sure what’s worse, dumping a bunch of soap into the majestic ocean, or throwing it out the back of the plane to drive people to a sudsy, watery death. Either way, the gang does both!

WHOOSH

Although Rebecca, Baloo and Kit make it out safe…

Suck bubble, Karnage!

They’re plum outta soap (snow), and the restless bar patrons break in and obliterate the North Pole facade, causing Molly to get upset and runs away.

Bear emotions!

She tosses her letter to Santa, containing the wish for her mother, into the wind.

“Now I’m littering too! Whatcha think of that Santa?”

As the whole gang comes out to look for Molly…

Sorry, I just love how well drawn the backgrounds are in this sequence

And they find here staring up into the sky…

Gorgeous

The audience doesn’t get to see what Molly saw, but it isn’t important. She made her Christmas connection and that sure as shit was good enough for me. And wouldn’t you know it, something starts to happen…

Through whatever mechanism you care to acknowledge, Cape Suzette sees its first snow, and I think an entire weather front that defies all meteorological tradition is pretty fucking special.

No songs, and no fourth wall-breaking “Merry Christmas, everyone.” Just the gang silently celebrating a Christmas miracle.

The Bible says nothing of talking, package delivering mammals. (Obviously, that would take more than six days.) Conversely, the TaleSpin Christmas special makes no mention of our lord and savior.

Physically, there’s zero Kringle, however I think his presence is all over this special, in addition to having his existence subtly validated at the end.

I think Louis makes a fine Santa, plus I would’ve killed for this level of TaleSpin merch

Given that I only watched this episode of TaleSpin, I can’t speak on as to how the rest of this series holds up. But that’s not really what we do here anyway, and I have to say I was pretty floored with the quality of music, animation, and writing that went into “A Jolly Molly Christmas.” It’s a more subdued episode, both in terms of Christmas and the TaleSpin series, but at least it avoids the hamfisted idiocy and comes off as extremely warm and personal. If you have any fond memories of the show, I can happily encourage you to give this a spin around the Holidays.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

The complete run of TaleSpin is available in two DVD volumes, with “A Jolly Molly Christmas” featured on Volume 2. Unfortunately, The Jungle Book has gone back into the Disney Vault, undoubtedly awaiting a soon to be announced Blu-ray release. However, it can still be purchased new and used through Amazon Marketplace.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 7th Christmas Special
IT’S CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN, CHARLIE BROWN

A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS
Original Air Date: December 9, 1965

Instead of breaking down the famous Christmas special you all know by heart, head inside to learn the behind-the-scenes stuff you probably never knew…

BACKSTORY:
Both Charlie Brown and Snoopy spiritually began life as nameless caricatures in the weekly comic strip for a St. Paul, Minnesota newspaper in 1947, known as Lil’ Folks, written and drawn by Charles Schulz.

Charles Schulz 1922-2000

After getting sacked, Schulz brought a strip with named, reoccurring characters to the United Features Syndicate, who published the comic nationally starting in October of 1950 under the title of Peanuts (a name both Schulz and I detested.)

Charlie Brown and the morose tone were perfectly set from the very first Peanuts strip

After nearly fifteen years of newspaper success, the opportunity to adapt the strip into an animated Christmas special came a’knockin’ and Schulz began the difficult production with the help of a former Disney animator, Bill Melendez (who remained the sole voice of Snoopy until his death in 2008)

A Charlie Brown Christmas in other mediums

Against all odds, A Charlie Brown Christmas wasn’t just an outstanding success; it’s become an America cultural institution. Following its premiere, it won an Emmy for Outstanding Children’s Program, the ultra-prestigious Peabody Award, and has aired every year during the Holidays since its debut in 1965.

A scene from the pretty damned good, It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown, made in 1992

A Charlie Brown Christmas paved the way for several dozen more specials and four feature films, yet Schulz continued to single-handedly craft the comic strip until, almost literally, the day he died. Health concerns caused him to reluctantly retire, and as if inextricably tethered to the character he’d spent FIFTY YEARS bringing to life on an almost daily basis, his final original Sunday strip premiered in newspapers just hours after his passing.

BREAKDOWN:
Okay, we’re going to something a little different today, but let’s go ahead and kick this off the way most people my age saw it:

Poor ol’ Chuck… His animated Christmas special wasn’t the first; that distinction belongs to Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer beats him out for the longest running Christmas special by only a single year. And ratings wise, the show even came in second place the week it aired (and to fucking Bonanza no less!)

I pieced together the opening pan shot. Click here to see it big as hell!

Will Charlie Brown ever catch a break? Yeah… from me at least. Of all the specials covered, of all the specials we still haven’t covered, of all the Christmas specials that are held aloft as timeless, classic, and otherwise beyond reproach… A Charlie Brown Christmas is my absolute favorite Christmas Special of all time!

Animating Snoopy was far easier than Ol’ Roundhead, hence his hefty screentime

I know I’m not alone, plus I think it’s fair to say Chuck’s Xmas has certainly gotten his due. But damned if this little special didn’t come together against all odds! Because Charles Schulz and director Bill Melendez got the football pulled out from underneath them more than a few times behind the scenes.

Pigpen, my favorite Peanut

The budget on A Charlie Brown Christmas was shoestring by any standard. In fact, the whole production was underwritten by Coca-Cola, who approached Melendez and Schulz with the idea in the first place, and not the other way around.

Also probably brought to you by Coke

That’s right, this special was originally “brought to you by Coca-Cola” both promotionally, and very literally. A two minute presentation was put together at Coke’s request, and the world had its very first instance of animated Peanuts!

Therapy: You get what you pay for

Older folks who watched the special in the first few years are all too aware of the connection. Before the FCC cracked down on such things, the original airings of the special featured the Peanuts gang interacting with the soda.

This shot, usually omitted from the TV broadcast, originally featured a Coke can

Somewhat bittersweetly, the footage of the Coke/Peanuts tie-in was removed after the sponsorship ran its course in the late 60’s, and has remained unseen to the public ever since. However, you can still hear evidence of the Coke sponsorship in the final seconds of A Charlie Brown Christmas. Perhaps you’ve noticed the Peanuts’ rendition of “Hark the Herald Angels Sing” fades out rather abruptly, cutting out the last few words? Find out why in the seven seconds below.

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While I think we can all agree we’re glad it no longer airs that way, I’d still kill to see the Coke footage. It’s a wonder it’s not available for public viewing. It’s not like the two had a falling out, judging by this Super Bowl commercial anyway.

He’s your dog, Chazz

Either way, Coke was very behind the special. CBS? Not so much. The network was convinced it had a giant flop on its hands, and if it had its way, the network would’ve axed just about everything special from this, um… Special.

To this day, these are the only dance moves I have

Obviously, part of the strip’s charm is that there are no adults anywhere. The kids are left free to question somewhat heady and existential questions about the world they’re only just discovering.

Snoopy gets in the spirit, and the spirit is $$$

To preserve that spirit in the Peanuts first animated TV special, almost no professional voice actors were hired, and instead real unprofessional children were cast in the roles.

“That’s an UGH! people”

According to legend, the child actors didn’t take to direction all that well. Nor could they work as long, or be prodded into the numerous retakes expected of professional actors. As a result, many reads had to be awkwardly cut together, sometime syllable by syllable.

Linus is in no way making a political statement of any kind

Sally’s vocal performance in particular makes for one of the most unique in all animation, featuring an adorable splicing of varying emotional tones and flubbed lines.

At worst, you’d call it cute

And guess what? It worked! The “unprofessional” voice work not only set A Charlie Brown Christmas apart from anything people had seen in an animated production before, it defined the way Peanuts characters would speak and sound for the next fifty years.

Always the shepherd, never the sheep

Of course, you could easily say the same about the legendary, musical score by Vince Guaraldi. Producer Lee Mendelson heard his Trio performing “Cast Your Fates to the Wind” one night on the radio, and asked him to compose music for the Christmas Special, and he happily obliged.

Some have called him “Flash Beagle”

Yet compared with the up tempo, often bombastic, musical accompaniments found in of-the-era toons, like Hanna-Barbera, Rocky & Bullwinkle, etc., Guaraldi is a bit of a baffling choice. And no one was more baffled than CBS, because they hated it.

But the kids love jazz trios!

A bunch of awkwardly voiced children coupled with a lite Jazz score with almost no original lyrics? That certainly wasn’t what anybody was doing in contemporary animation, let alone in a one-shot Christmas special. Little would they know, Vince Guaradi’s music and the lo-fi monotone chorus of amatuer children would go one to become a Christmas classic, played annually alongside staples like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman.

Nor would CBS foresee that “Linus and Lucy” would end up as a theme that will forever remain synonymous with the Peanuts, and Guaraldi would go on compose over a dozen more Charlie Brown TV specials and theatrical films before his death in 1976.

The hottest place in town? The Christmas Tree Farm!

So what’s a heartless conglomerate to do when left to air something they have no faith in? What networks still do to this day… they added a laughtrack. Yep, a version of the special with canned laughter was produced against the will of Schulz and company.

From It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown, but I think this is what it would’ve felt like

Although I could’ve sworn clips of the “enhanced” laughtrack cut used to exist somewhere on the net, but damned if I can find it now. Fortunately, that cut never aired because everyone involved was adamantly opposed to forced laughter on Schulz’s subdued punchlines.

Another pan shot composite, Click here to see it bigger

These are just some of the many skirmishes that go along with any network production; however, there was no bigger battle than the one fought on the side of GOD himeslf! As much as we all like to assume America is a nation of Bible-thumping religious nuts, CBS was most uncomfortable with Linus reading directly from The Good Book.

Tell it, Van Pelt!

It’s said that even the producers of the special pleaded with Schulz to remove Linus’ recitation of the Gospel of Luke from the finale… To which Sparky is said to have responded, “If we don’t tell the true meaning of Christmas, who will?”

Nice

And thank Kris Kringle he did, I believe it still makes for one helluva an ending! Linus emboldens Charlie Brown’s faith in himself, through a message of hope, cultural tradition, and most importantly, the unwavering strength of all-around good will.

Nicer…

Chuck’s been marginalized and kicked around for almost half an hour, yet now feels confident in his choice to extend a little Holiday courtesy towards the things that need it most. And wouldn’t you know it, that kind attitude can be contagious.

Fantastic

HIGH! In fact, I created the meter above with this special in mind as a sort of warning to my Atheist friends, assuming Christ would have a larger presence in most other specials. Turns out I was quite wrong. Just because there’s a religious message in this, one of the most well known Christmas specials, it’s practically a taboo and not evidenced in a billion others. And yeah, I think that makes it all the more special.

For God so loved this tree, he gave it to Charlie Brown

As a completely nonreligious person, I still think it’s a powerful revelation, and I don’t particularly care how literally Chuck, nor how any Christian or Atheist viewer, care to interpret it. I find it incredibly satisfying for my own reasons, and I know other people do, too.

None actually. Charlie Brown and Linus spend a substantial portion of the special expressing their dissatisfaction with the greed and commercialism surrounding the Holidays. And I don’t mean to speak for Schulz, but Santa is kind of the poster boy for that. You won’t see so much as a Santa hat in this production.

So awesome, I wish we had more balls to give it. A Charlie Brown Christmas might be old, but it’s the furthest thing from dated. The battles it fought to present its message were well won indeed, and as with most of the Peanuts television output, the special remains truly unique and timeless. You’ll find no greater Christmas special on TV or DVD. If you don’t watch this once a year, I don’t even know why you’re reading this site.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

A Charlie Brown Christmas is available on a standalone DVD and as part of the Peanuts Holiday Collection, which also includes A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. I highly encourage all Hig-Def adopters to pick up either on Blu-ray as well, since almost any reason to watch this again is probably a good one, plus the stunning clarity reveals certain things you probably haven’t seen before if nothing else. No matter what version you pick up, all of these editions come with a making-of documentary, as well as the wonderful 1992 sequel, It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
SONIC’S CHRISTMAS BLAST

2009′s Dec. 6th Christmas Special
CHRISTMAS COMES TO PACLAND