A DISNEY CHRISTMAS GIFT
Original Air Date: December 4, 1982

The festive folks at Disney hastily assemble an archival Holiday present that was 20 years shy of “new” the day it hit TV.

BACKSTORY:
According to legend, A Disney Christmas Gift exists only because of the hard times the studio underwent during the early 80’s. In those turbulent times between The Fox and the Hound and the developmentally challenged The Black Cauldron, Disney had decided it was high time Mickey returned to the medium he was born: Short-form Theatrical animation. The studio had long since abandoned the theatrical short, yet it had found success with the occasional 10+ minute short, generally adjoined with its theatrical rereleases of classic animated films, Winnie the Pooh being a notable example.

The special was heavily rerun on The Disney Channel up into the 90’s and eventually found its way to VHS and Laserdisc

But Mickey… hell, Mickey hadn’t been seen on the big screen in three decades. Obviously, shit had to be done right. Unfortunately, the same animation strike and internal strife that plagued production on The Black Cauldron caused unforeseeable delays in Mickey’s Christmas Carol, and it would fail to premiere in the Winter of 1982.

“Sorry I couldn’t make it, folks”

More interestingly, Disney had already inked a deal to premiere the thing on CBS, and they’d apparently gone so far as to send out promotional materials heralding something wouldn’t be finished until a year later. What’s a Disney to do? Why, pillage the archives of course! And hastily cobble together cartoons dating back as far as 1933.

BREAKDOWN:
Children raised on VCRs no doubt recognize what’s about to go down

A Disney Christmas Gift has held a special place in my heart for decades, because it certainly got played in heavy rotation in our household. I can still vividly remember the title – scrawled in my own handwriting! – on a yellow Kodak VHS spine, which, in spite of a consistent shortage of blank tapes, somehow made it through the entire VCR era without getting recorded over. I can’t tell you how overjoyed I was to unearth a version of it after all these years… and I can’t tell you how underwhelming I find it now.

The dogs of Christmas

Maybe in the days predating Youtube and chapter-skipping DVDs, Disney could get away heading into The Vault and cutting together sizzle reels together to be released wherever it wanted. I know I enjoyed the hell out of them – Disney’s Sing-A-Long Songs come to mind. But at least many of those variety sets adhered to some sort of overarching theme, and you’d think jukeboxing the archives into a coherent Holiday shell would’ve been no problem for A Disney Christmas Gift. No so, apparently…

Apologies for the screen quality, these are all ripped from a VHS

I know those pictures of the live-action opening might go a long way towards tricking you into thinking you’re getting a full-blown Disney Christmas Extravaganza… But it’s little more than Yuletide B-roll accompanied by original Christmas music so goddamned clichéd it’s approaching cynicism, then used to bridge a rather careless grab bag of largely unrelated animation.

Pretty, pretty winter

Which really sucks… especially  because it kicks things off on a Holiday high note, beginning with the relatively obscure “Once Upon a Wintertime” short, originally featured as part of Disney’s theatrically-released Melody Time in 1948. Technically, it’s not even about Christmas, yet with its sleighbells, snow, and songs by Frances Langford scoring the comical courtship, it’s unarguably suited perfectly for it.

Leaving his mark of love on nature itself

Add to that, it’s got damn near everything that’s helped theatrical Disney animation continuously stand the test of time. To put it simply, “Once Upon a Wintertime” has simply everything you’d want to see in a Holiday cartoon. You’ve got romance, physical comedy, adorable animals and an utterly fantastic musical flourish from beginning to end. And then the creepiness of A Disney Christmas Gift sinks its teeth in…

“This is where you nightmares live”

A creepy chorus of overlayed narrators jarringly shatters the magic of the first abridged cartoon to bring you into the next. It’s not just cornball – lazy editing and cheesy wipes were just part of the eighties – it’s that it incredibly unnecessary unless they assumed their audience would’ve been 90% blind. Click here to hear it for yourself.

Better shots taken for a separate article

“Mickey, Pluto, and Chip and Dale! Christmas morning will never be the same!” That seems innocuous in text, but imagine it murmured to you by an overlayed horde of trickster demons hellbent on coaxing you away from your immortal soul! Sorry, that’s how it feels to me anyway. Yet before you can run screaming from the room, BAM: You’re in the middle of “Pluto’s Christmas Tree” one of my all time favorite Christmas cartoons! I’ve written about that short in depth, so forgive me I jump to the next clip.

I really should be capturing pics from my Bambi DVD

Que the satanic narrators: “Christmas mo-ooooorning, and it’s Bambi’s first Christ-mas Day!” Wait, what? And here’s where things get weird… The next clip is from Bambi, specifically that splendid sequence where Thumper teaches him to navigate the ice. So, perhaps I’m entering into nerd rage mode but… why you gotta rewrite history, man? We can see the snow – Bambi’s first, actually – so I’m fairly sure the audience can accept that it’s somewhere close to Holidays.

Thumper does his impression of me viewing A Disney Christmas Gift

Must you needlessly fabricate that these two friends are celebrating Christmas just to fit the needs of this slapdash special? By that criteria, are we to assume the forest creatures consider a cruel blanket of snow and ice, and the freezing over of their water supply… a gift?! Tell that to the decomposing carcasses of the animals that don’t make it through the harsh winter, mister! And we’re on to the next clip…

Surprise?!

“Faaaaantaaasyy. In Never-Never laaaand. Oh what would Chriiiiistmas be, without Peter Pan?” Just because you sing it doesn’t make it true! And what the hell does Peter Pan have to do with Christmas, anyway?! Either way, here’s where we get to enjoy the otherwise wonderful, yet totally unrelated to Christmas, sequence from Peter Pan where the children take flight from the nursery.

The only justification I can see for the Xmas inclusion is their pajamas are a bit Dickensian

As one of my favorite scenes from any movie, period, this one’s hard to knock in just about any context, except that it makes me want to watch the rest of the movie immediately. Perhaps the producers assumed that the ambiguity of night left them plausible deniability. “You don’t know it’s not Christmas in London.” That shit may’ve flown in Hook, but… fuck I don’t want to talk about Hook.

In any other place, at any other time this cartoon rocks

And we’re off to the next clip… Cool, a Donald Duck cartoon! Okay… but why this one exactly?! “The Clock Watcher” is certainly a fine short, involving Donald’s frustrations with his job as a department store gift wrapper. However, it’s more about the shenanigans of workaday drudgery, and I know for a fact Don’s got better Christmas cartoons than this one. Oh well, on to… Sword and the Stone?! Goddammit!

Nothing says “Christmas” live divine absolutism

“Christmas in Merry Old England…” No it isn’t, satanic storytellers! It’s just snowing, plus your lead has an American accent! Whatever, they spoil the climax of that movie and briefly show Wart transform into King Arthur with an incredibly abrupt fade right when the sword is yanked free. And if you thought that segment was a little tacked on….

Star Wipe!

“Bibbidy Bobbety boo?!” I’m a fairly amateur Disney archivist, but I believe I owned – at the time – a billion other Disney shorts better suited for Christmas than Cinderella’s Ball transformation. A fucking pumpkin is the only thing you’ve got to even remotely signify the latter quarter of the year, and even then… oh, wait a minute. Look what’s next…

Oh yeah, it’s Christmas. Not a company highlight reel

Before I could even fly off the handle at the throwaway Cinderella inclusion, A Disney Christmas Gift caps off the whole shebang with “The Night Before Christmas,” almost redeeming itself for all prior sins. This melodic Silly Symphony from 1933 could very well be one of the most classic pieces of Christmas animation since the Holiday retired Jesus and learned how to draw.

Toy Parade! With a cameo!

It’s just a joyous vision of the Holiday’s, depicting Santa as a magical creature, who not only represents Christmas, he uses it as a superpower! BANG: Tree Decorations! ZAP: care-hung stockings! BOOM: toys come to life! Good God, I can’t wait to focus an entire days entry on this short someday.

Santa brings the toys to life to do his decorative bidding

The special caps itself off with a pretty great sequence actually, involving antique Disney Toys long unseen at the time A Disney Christmas Gift originally aired, just clanking about the Christmas tree as if magically brought to life by the absence of humans.

An Earlier Toy Story

Come to think, I wouldn’t mind if the imagery in the finale played in my head all December long, and the same can be said about most of the special, provided you remove the ungodly narrators and horrifyingly dated bridge sequences.

Hardly a horrible finale

Even if Mickey’s your closest messianic approximation, he gets surprisingly little animated screentime.

Not a whole helluva lot, but the attention he gets during “The Night Before Christmas” more than makes up for it.

I’m aware that Disney had already recycled much of its Christmas-related footage into earlier specials, but the bizarre choices made here just to pad the hour irk me to no end. Disregarding the of-the-era production values, A Disney Christmas Gift still comes off as remarkably shameless and halfassed. Believe me, as a special I used to hold dear, I was overwhelmed with joy to obtain it once again… However, I can guarantee it won’t be receiving another airing in my house around the Holidays anytime soon.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Shop Amazon through us – it helps!)

A Disney Christmas Gift has never been available on DVD, but can found on VHS, used, for next to nothing. However, all of its recycled components can be found separately and of a superior quality, which is how I’d recommend you pick them up anyway.

A far better purchase for those hankering for short-form Disney Christmases should pick up the reasonably priced, Disney Animation Collection 7. This includes the vastly superior work that A Disney Christmas Gift served as the placeholder for, Mickey’s Christmas Carol, as well as Pluto’s Christmas Tree, and other Yuletide Toons. Both of the aformentioned cartoons are also miraculously still available from Amazon sellers at great prices in the Walt Disney Treasure set, Mickey Mouse: In Living Color, Volume Two which I thoroughly recommend for collectors who desire complete, uncut animation sets.

If you’re like me and would prefer to own the movies features in A Disney Christmas Gift in their entirety, Bambi is soon to be released on DVD and Blu-Ray Platinum Edition sets this March 1st. Peter Pan and Cinderella have been returned to The Vault, yet can still be purchased through Amazon sellers, but The Sword in the Stone is still available on DVD. Unfortunately you’re pretty SOL on “Night Before Christmas” until Disney rereleases its Silly Symphonies again (although I believe it’s featured as a special feature on certain versions of The Santa Clause.)

Previous Christmas Special
HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS

2009′s Dec. 1st  Christmas Special
MR. MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL

Against all odds, A Cartoon Christmas is back for another year, bitches! We dare you to care just one more time. All we ask is that you help us out with some Animated Holiday suggestions…

Holy crap, has it really been almost a year since we last covered an Animated Christmas Special?! Couldn’t be helped, unfortunately. Google Analytics dictates we be cryogenically frozen for eleven months since almost no one is looking for grammatically incoherent yuletide bibble-babble about animated Christmas specials come January 1st. And you know, Web 2.0 and all that…

This is, essentially, how we do (From Mickey’s Christmas Carol)

Actually, screw that! We really should’ve posted more regularly as my affection for writing about Toons has done nothing but fester and mutate into a colossal red-and-green beast during the hiatus. Additionally, I was quite touched to hear a couple of friends express positive encouragement to carry on after I threatened not to do A Cartoon Christmas again at all this year.

Remember this? So do we!

But that’s what the site is for me, and possibly for those of you willing to nostalgically wade through 1000 words on cartoons the rest of the world may’ve forgotten, too: A true labor of love. (Not to mention a wonderful breather from spewing hyperbole about “those damn vidjagames” 24/7 for me personally.) So yeah… we’re back! And hopefully we’re gonna shake things up a bit.

Here’s some new stuff I’d like to do this year:
-An occasional feature?
-A Cartoon Christmas music podcast?
-Some Contests/Giveaways?
-Some custom art features?
-Possibly a guest writer or two?

Much like the Pac-man Christmas Special, ACC remains fully committed to the utterly stupid as well

Our mission statement hasn’t changed on bit, of course. Humorous write-ups on the animated Christmas specials of our past and recent present, peppered with several dozen hand-selected screen grabs, will remain our primary trade. However, I was wondering if you guys could maybe help us make it a little more interesting this year. Oh, dare I ask the obvious question?

What Christmas Specials do you want to see the A CARTOON CHRISTMAS cover?

Seriously, let us know in the comments below and I’ll see to it that we do a couple of December’s posts specifically based on a couple of your suggestions. (Please no Star Wars, k thx)

I assure you, the He-Man Special is so dumb it should be illegal

As always, we’ll be providing product write ups along with links to Amazon.com, and we humbly encourage you to buy through our links simply because it helps cover the cost of the site. Purchasing through any related product link on A Cartoon Christmas is 100% safe, costs you nothing, and kicks back a pithy percentage of each sale into the ACC coffers. So let’s give this whole Cartoon Christmas thang a shot one more time, shall we? And please, tell us you animated Holiday favorites below, and we’ll call everything square on gifts for 2010.

ROBBIE THE REINDEER in HOOVES OF FIRE
Original air date: December 25, 1999

SYNOPSIS:
Rudolph’s well-intentioned but ill-applied offspring heads to the North Pole to fulfill his destiny as Santa’s chief navigator, only to find that he’s up against both a territorial Blitzen and the march of technology.  Will he step up his party-boy game in time, or have to return home a Prodigal Son?

BACKSTORY:
Robbie the Reindeer in Hooves of Fire premiered Christmas Day 1999 on the BBC.  The special was presented to benefit the charity organization Comic Relief, and it went on to win a prestigious BAFTA award in 2000, beating out such steep competition as Robot Wars and So Graham Norton.

Despite huge popularity in the U.K., it received a lukewarm reception in the U.S., where it was initially picked up by Fox Family and later sold to CBS.  Attributing its lack of appeal to the thick and varied British accents (and, let’s be honest, looking to score some star appeal), CBS re-dubbed it for American audiences in 2002, enlisting the voices of such Hollywood illuminati as Ben Stiller, Brad Garrett, Hugh Grant, and the famous voice actor Britney Spears.  Stripping the original characters of both their charm and comic timing, though, the U.S. version’s main value has proven to be as the clearest recorded example of voice-over work done through a mouthful of Cheetos.

The voice of Robbie the Reindeer: Father Ted’s Ardal O’Hanlon in the U.K., Ben Stiller in the U.S.

Robbie is the son of Rudolph, although that famous reindeer is never mentioned specifically by name. This allowed the production to play loose with the lore set in place by the 1964 Rudolph Christmas special. According to that legend, Donner should be Robbie’s grandfather, but instead she’s Robbie’s female teammate and eventual love interest.  Try not to think about it too much.

Grandpa?!?!

Although Hooves of Fire wasn’t technically made by Aardman Animations (the studio most famous for the Wallace and Gromit series), many Aardman staff – including director Richard Goleszowski – worked on the production, and their influence is readily apparent in its characteristic style.  Fans of the aforementioned limey and his inimitable pooch will find plenty to love in Robbie’s similarly detailed animation, vivid expressions, and twisted British sense of humor.

Two more Robbie specials were later created: Legend of The Lost Tribe in 2002 and Close Encounters of the Herd Kind in 2007.  And having never seen either of them, that’s all I have to say about that.

BREAKDOWN:
Our story begins with Robbie’s arrival in Coldchester, North Pole – home of none other than jolly old St. Nick.  Robbie is the son of a famous reindeer whose name we never quite learn (for copyright reasons, rumor has it – because asset protection is to Christmas as gluttony is to Thanksgiving), but if I had to guess, I’d wager that he probably had a very shiny nose.

I have no idea what this sign says, but I bet it’s full of dry British humour

Robbie’s immediately greeted by his new housemates and fellow sleigh-pullers: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome frat-boy Prancer; sulking sexpot Vixen; bubbly welcome wagon Donner; and malevolent alpha male Blitzen.  Blitzen can’t wait to welcome the famous Robbie to the gang, but something about his Jeremy Irons-esque drawl (as voiced by Steve Coogan) seems to presage evil.

Check out special-needs Beaker on the right there...

Apparently the product of some sort of genetic lottery gone awry, Robbie’s got a schnozz that’s part GPS and part seeing-eye dog, with a dash of ESP thrown in for good measure. And, like most celebrity offspring, he’s also overweight, lazy, entitled, and all too quick to embarrass himself on film.

What not to wear

Still, his heart’s in the right place – poor Robbie just wants to take his rightful place as the head of Santa’s sleigh team (and if he gets to bone Vixen in the meantime, well, so be it).  And with that Google-maps beak of his, he knows he’s got this one in the bag…

This hunk of red clay is smarter than Miss South Carolina.

Or does he?  In the absence of he-who-shall-not-be-named, Blitzen has been playing leader of the pack, and he’s not about to give up his throne without a fight.  Especially not to the son of some stinking red-nose who stole his thunder all those years ago.

Despite appearances, there is not actually a break-dancing sequence in this special.  Sorry, kids.

Robbie’s none too keen on the 364-day training regimen portion of the program as it is, so a scheming Blitzen pounces on his opportunity to encourage him to eat and sleep his way off the team.

Uh, Robbie? You’re doing it wrong.

But wait – who said anything about anyone leaving the team?…

Oh yeah – this guy.

The reindeer soon learn that a mid-life-crisis Santa’s gone and gotten himself a souped-up new ride, complete with a navigation system so advanced even Mrs. Claus could drive this thing.  And that means he’ll be needing one less steed to pull him to adulation, so it’s auf wiedersehen to the reindeer who is most unfit (criteria courtesy of local helping-hand Blitzen).

If you thought Santa’s calves were scary, wait ’til you meet this wigger

It’s a rude awakening for Robbie, who realizes he’s traded his legacy for a quarter-pounder.  So he does what any troubled celebu-spawn would: runs away from home and slums it with a blue-collar job in the local toy factory.

Octomonkey!

As the product of a life of luxury, though, Robbie is woefully unprepared for even the most banal factory work, and he undergoes a series of demotions that culminate in the humiliation of being used as a human (ah, reindeer) forklift.

And you thought antlers were just for giving your decor that special “Palin” vibe

Fortunately, Donner spots our familiar forklift one day during a factory visit, and she’s got good news for Robbie – she has a plan!  The way for Robbie to reclaim his place on the sleigh team is to win a medal in the upcoming Reindeer Games (sponsored by Hay^TM), thus redeeming himself in Santa’s eyes.

PSYCH!  It’s a dream sequence, suckahs…

But for that to happen they’re going to need a miracle, or at least a “wise old coach who can save the day.”  Enter Old Jingle, the local crazy-as-balls, older-than-dirt Mr. Miyagideer.

Homina, Homina, Homina

Jingle whips Robbie into shape with the workout montage to end all workout montages and, during a rare bout of lucidity, soothes his nerves with some sage old-man wisdom.

Aaaand Vangelis will be needing a clean pair of boxers

By the time the big day arrives, not only is Robbie a lean, mean steeple-chasing machine, but he’s also found new motivation in his spontaneously realized love for Donner (who’d been pining for him all along, but in that cryptic, passive-aggressive way that women do.  So, you know, he could be forgiven for giving her the brush-off.)

“I love everything about the person I’m going to change you into”

Still, it’s not going to be a trot in the park.  Turns out Blitzen’s ambitions are more A-Rod than Iditarod – he’s been juicing (apparently you can drink steroids now, which would have been nice to know before I had a forearm like a pimiento loaf…) to gain a hoof up on the competition.

Pop quiz: which one of these hairy beasts has bedded Madonna?

Fortunately, Blitzen’s ‘roid rage is no match for Rocky’s – er, Robbie’s – training (and general love-fueled mania).  Even after sprinting out of the park pre-race to rescue a prostrate Old Jingle from his poorly placed (read: on top of him) house, Robbie manages to return and chase Blitzen down to a photo finish.

And the winner is…Blitzen, by a nose!  BURN.

No matter – the Reindeer Games commission is onto Blitzen anyway, and Robbie could care less, what with the all-night romp-in-the-hay you know he’s in for (don’t think I don’t know that look, Donner…).

Yesssssss

So Santa apologizes in the best way men know how – by lending Robbie his wheels and never mentioning this again – and Robbie and Donner ride off into the moonset to the sounds of a Mark Knopfler song cheesy enough to plug you up from now ’til New Year’s.

You kids be careful, now, or it’s gonna be more than just your hooves on fire.

Awww, shucks.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the Site!)

Hooves on Fire is available on DVD, packaged with Robbie’s 2002 follow-up, The Legend of The Lost Tribe. The disc contains both British and American voice tracks, but, in the biggest slap in the face since the Boston Tea Party, bills the original version as a bonus “alternate U.K. audio track.”

Hooves director Richard Goleszowski went on to work with Aardman studios on the Creature Comforts series, including this double-sized Christmas episode available on a stand alone DVD as well as the Wallace and Gromit spin-off Shaun the Sheep.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER
Original Air Date: December 6, 1964

SYNOPSIS:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it… you’d know how fucking awesome it is!

BACKSTORY:

The original book and an 1960′s advert featuring the characters from GE, the shows original sponsor

The story of Rudolph began life as a promotional book by Robert L. May commissioned by Montgomery Ward to give away during the Christmas of 1939. In 1949, Johnny Marks adapted May’s poem into the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer into the song we all know today.

The last cartoon by Popeye helmer, Max Fleischer was actually Rudolph’s first animated appearance in 1948

Following the success of TV’s first animated Christmas special, Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol, networks were on the prowl for Christmas specials. You could say NBC really scored when they struck a deal with producers Arthur Rankin Jr. and Jules Bass: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer has run annually every year since 1964, making it TV’s longest running Christmas special!

Rankin/Bass produced many other successful stop motion, holiday-themed specials over the next three decades until that division folded in favor of traditionally animated entertainment, such as Thundercats and The Hobbit.

BREAKDOWN:
To any of you who were butt hurt over yesterday’s choice of special, this should more than make up for it. Without a doubt, one of the most iconic examples of, not only the Christmas special, but the medium of stop motion animation at large.

Still beautiful

I know what you’re thinking… Does it hold up? I hadn’t seen in a few years and didn’t expect it to either, but as of this writing I’m overcome with giddiness to report that it most certainly does!

I’d forgotten about the live action intro

The animation is far less rudimentary than all those parodies we’ve seen over the years eould have you remember. Each and every character is wonderfully articulated, the camera pans and adjust their focus for movement, and characters make detailed impressions in the snow with every movement. In other words: It’s still a beautiful sight to behold.

Burt Ives serves as our frosty narrator

One of the reasons I still love it so much is that the main cast is made up entirely of losers. Rudolph and Hermey are classic sad sacks, each of them representing the dregs of their judgmental and shortsighted castes.

Not too high

The beginning of the special is largely devoted to heaping shit on both Rudolph and Hermey. And would you look at that, even Ol Saint Nick gets in on the act?

“Damn , dawg! Turn that shit down!“

Rudolph is forced by his father – who I didn’t remember being Donner, one of Santa’s starting line-up – to wear a false rubber nose that restricts his breathing.

Societal Acceptance > Oxygen

Similarly, Hermey – and yes it’s Hermey, not Herbie! – has to hide his love of dentistry in front of the other elves for fear of being berated by hairless midgets.

No one likes getting chewed out by an elf

Rudolph’s façade eventfully comes a tumblin’ down in full view of all, and he is disbarred from any further participation within Reindeer Games. (There’s gotta be a better way to word that!)

Love the eye effects during this sequence

Clarice, the cloven hottie, follows in pursuit and nearly brings ‘Dolph out of his funk. But unfortunately her dickhead dad puts the kibosh on that.

D’Awwwww

Rudolph is at peak sulk right about now… but fortunately, he’s about to meet up with a kindred spirit.

Apparently, the song sung at this point was removed from Rudolph’s second airing in 1965, and that’s a shame. Now, it’s not that the song here is musically above and beyond, or even that it’s all that necessary. I’d only call it bad in comparison to the other ditty here, also written by Johnny Marks.

Sam the Snowman cranks out the superior tunes

But I love it when two unrelated, societal castoffs find a way to get together, and the song is essentially a safe-for-network television way for Rudoplh and Hermey to say, “Fuck ‘em all! We don’t need em!”

1960′s water effects courtesy of Cocaine

Either way the song, entitled “We’re a Couple of Misfits,” was restored into the special in 1998, and is present on the latest DVD edition I just purchased.

Peace!

Any hoo, the boys set off to begin their brand new life together. Anywhere but here, am I right boys?

Oh…

But they’re not on their own for very long, as the boys quickly meet up with outcast peppermint prospector Yukon Cornelius…

Action figures of Yukon Cornelius replaced his revolver with a nonviolent knife

Who’s quick thinking saves them from a fatal run in with the Abominable Snowman.

Not spark another Pixar conspiracy, but fans of Monsters Inc. will see the inspiration

Yukon chips severs an ice flow and the boys float off into God knows where

I’m on a float!

Okay, the next sequence is a favorite for me, and I can’t imagine I’m alone.

C’mon, who wouldn’t want one of these?!

The boys – hell, men – land on the Island of Misfit toys, a place where broken or slightly irregular toys go to commiserate.

Personally, I’ve got a soft spot for the spotted elephant

It shouldn’t surprise you that I have an affinity for toys come to life, therefore I not only love this scene because the unlovable toy models are so awesome, but over the last 40 years many a toy line has been based off of these misfit toys and proved quite popular.

The Original Lion King

Evidently, a noble flying lion has been scooping the refuse toys up from all over the globe, and he offers the flesh-based misfits sanctuary so long as they tell Santa about the existence of the Island so that he may eventually find a home for his flock of unloved playthings on some future Christmas.

The palatial royal quarters

Rudolph steals away in the night, so as night to endanger his pals any further, and ages into a full grown reindeer in the months of solitude.

All growed up

He returns to the North Pole to find out that his friends and family have been out looking for him the whole time, and it’s his term to go find them.

Gasp!

Luckily, Hermey and Cornelius show up and help Rudolph defeat the Abominable snow monster.

Oral Offense

Ouch, Hermey yanks the monster’s teeth out!

Kind of above and beyond cruelty, actually

And Corny shoves the, now powerless, oaf off a cliff.

Does Cornelius survive? Tune in next year…

We now find the North Pole beaten down by a record blizzard and Santa is threatening to cancel Christmas.

If weather conditions are that much of a factor, maybe setting up shop in the North Pole was a bad business decision

And Santa finally realizes what we’ve known all along: Rudolph’s luminescent schnoz can light the way.

Just like the song!

Christmas is saved, and everyone finds a new lot in life. Hermey gets permission to open up a dental practice, and Yukon Cornelius finds a peppermint pipeline. Even the Bombby finds a new place to fit in:

Probably my favorite image in the whole special

And thanks to a letter writing campaign the year following its debut, the next year Rankin/Bass animated a sequence where Santa returns to the Island of Misfit Toys and deploy them over the end credis.

I can’t believe this scene wasn’t in the original airing

Not much. Even back in the 60’s, networks weren’t all that crazy about presenting the Good Word on primetime television

Santa’s here a lot. And I love that even though he’s not a central character, he begins the story as kind of a prick, and eventually learns a thing or two about acceptance, too.

Classic

Easily half a century’s worth. I went back into Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer fully expecting an experience only enjoyable through nostalgia goggles. Believe the hype, this one is truly timeless.

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the Site!)

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer appears on an ultra affordable standalone DVD, but with no notable bonus features to speak of, I’d have to recommend The Original Christmas Classics Boxed set. The price is a steal, plus it contains six more classic Christmas specials, including other Rankin/Bass stop motion classics like The Little Drummer Boy and Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town. And I can’t recommend the Holiday Figurine set enough. Featuring almost all of Rudolph‘s primary cast, I propose that this become every atheist’s annual nativity scene.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special:
Mystery Science Theater 3000: Santa Claus

IT’S CHRISTMASTIME AGAIN, CHARLIE BROWN
Original Air Date: November 27, 1992

SYNOPSIS:
For the their 36th primetime animated special, Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang revisit Christmas for the first time in almost 30 years!

BACKSTORY:
Does anybody really need to tell you that A Charlie Brown Christmas was huge?

Since its first airing in 1965, it’s been broadcast every year since, on multiple networks, and has pretty much become synonymous with the entire concept of the Christmas Special. To that end, it’s almost odd that it took Charles Schultz and Bill Melendez three decades to return to the well.

Seriously, this special made its debut at a gas station

Instead of forging an all new tale, It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown was adapted directly from numerous Holiday-themed “Peanuts” strips. This special also marked the first time a Peanuts special premiered direct-to-video – it was sold exclusively on VHS at Shell gas stations beginning in September of 1992?!

BREAKDOWN:
In case it isn’t obvious, I’m far less motivated to cover the “classic” Christmas Specials everyone remembers. They’re generally well worn territory, and often above reproach. Which is why so far, I’ve gotten more of a kick out of dredging up the ones that, whether good or bad, have fallen through the cracks. It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown makes for a great entry because it’s all of the above criteria, rolled into one.

Linus’ cardboard sled is filled with Yule Tide FAIL

Who among us doesn’t have a soft spot for Charlie Brown and Christmas?! By my count, fucking everybody. It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown, though, certainly isn’t the reason why.

However, I’d like to stipulate right of the bat: It’s not that It’s Christmas Time Again is bad – far from it, actually. In fact, should you have an interest in any of the other Charlie Brown specials that have aired over the last 50 years, you’ll find plenty to love here.

Santa’s helpers

Bill Melendez once again employed children instead of actors in the speaking roles, so there’s little-to-no change to the quaint Peanuts style of minimalist animation and low-fi sound. Plus, they’ve even resurrected Vince Guaraldi’s immortally jazzy score for its first appearance in a Charlie Brown animated special since the composer’s death in 1975.

Peppermint Patty refuses to do her homework

It bears all the earmarks of its classic precursor, so why did it fail to resonate with audiences and receive only a single airing on CBS? Well, popular older brother aside, It’s Christmas Time Again just doesn’t have much of a story.

Charlie Brown’s pathetic tree makes a brief cameo at the very end

The original Charlie Brown Christmas has surely benefited from being one of the first Christmas specials, but you also can’t deny its remarkable distinctness, especially in the way it revels in the depressing nature of the Holidays, abject failure, and the cruelty of children.

Sally rehearses her single line in the Christmas play…it doesn’t go well

It’s Christmastime Again doesn’t even bear the benefits of having poor Charlie Brown as a central character to constantly kick in the teeth. And since it was adapted directly from multiple three-panel jokes ripped from several years worth of newspaper funnies, there’s not even a central theme here; instead, you’re presented with a series of vignettes which, while funny and quintessential Schulz, don’t give you a lot to hold onto.  I’ll lay out an example for you:

“Where are all the candy canes?”
“Have you looked outside?”

HA!

The entire special simply rolls along with brief, dare I say Robot Chicken-esque, gags like the above, but it’s rather charming nonetheless. Even though there’s no unifying thesis at work, I’d still like to believe these are see some of Schulz’s personal thoughts on the nature of Christmas, updated for (slightly) more modern times.

A “credit card” is referenced as a rare reminder that this isn’t the 1950′s

Charlie Brown undergoes typical misfortune while trying to buy the “Little Red-Head Girl” a pair of gloves for $25 (a price I’d like to think was more reflective of current times).

Some punk ass kid mangles his inventory

And I couldn’t help but sympathize with him when he tried to sell his entire comic book collection to raise the funds.

We find out that the object of Chuck’s affection is named Peggy Jean

Whoops, turns out she already got the gloves! Now I’ll admit that that’s failure, it’s just nowhere near what we’ve come to know as Charlie Brown-level failure.

At least the gloves find a good home.

Chuck isn’t even the star here, actually. His sister Sally gets far more screen time, and she seems to be the one struggling with the meaning of Christmas, caught between her role in a Christmas play and the materialistic outlook of the Holidays.

Linus reads the Good Word from an unmarked Bible

Only Peppermint Patty’s parts retain that old-time Peanuts brand of melancholy, albeit mainly by way of her own ego issues wrapped in a Holiday shell, and you could say it’s more of a lesson in humility than humiliation.

Now that’s a Peanuts special!

Finally, A legitimate showing on the Crucifix Meter, which in fact was only included as criteria in the first place after rewatching A Charlie Brown Christmas. Once again, this one finds Linus reading lengthy passages to Sally straight from the Good Book.  Score one for Jesus at last.

None. Unfortunately, Santa’s an adult, so there’s no place for him in the Peanuts world. They’re consistent, to say the least, and I know I didn’t want to hear the guy “Ho, Ho, Ho!” through a trombone mute.

Plenty, although it’s still rather disjointed when compared with the special everyone knows by heart. I’d like to think, though, that the internet could embrace It’s Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown in the same way they would a Watterson-approved adaptation of Calvin and Hobbes Snowmen comic strips. After all, it’s warm, and it should still feel altogether new since only the most comprehensive Peanuts fan would be familiar with its source material.

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It’s Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown has been largely relegated to a supporting role as a bonus feature on the many DVDs of A Charlie Brown Christmas – good news for those who don’t already own that Holiday staple. I’ve included the Blu-Ray just because I’m deliriously overjoyed that the thing exists in the first place. The stand-alone disc, Blu-Ray and Holiday bundle all feature both A Charlie Brown Christmas and It’s Christmastime Again Charlie Brown, as well as a documentary entitled, A Christmas Miracle: The Making of A Charlie Brown Christmas.  Any way you slice it, you’re getting a lot of Holiday bang for your minimal Christmas buck.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
CHRISTMAS COMES TO PACLAND

CHRISTMAS COMES TO PACLAND
Original Air Date: December 16, 1982

Through some undisclosed dimensional gateway, Santa Claus crash lands in Pac-Land. It’s up to the entire Pac-gang to find his toy sack, fix his sleigh, and drug his reindeer before the Ghost Gang can ruin Christmas!

BACKSTORY:
Immediately following his introduction to the world as a Japanese arcade game character in 1980, Pac-Man could do no wrong.

The original game and a Christmas album completely unrelated to the the cartoon

It didn’t matter that his character and design were attributable solely to the graphical limitations of the day – during the early 80s, Namco’s insatiable circle was the basis for more video game sequels and spin-offs than Mario, with toys, a breakfast cereal, a chart-topping album and – you guessed it – an animated Christmas special.

For a time, Pac-Man’s show was so popular that Tengen based their NES cover art on its design

Hanna-Barbera added Pac-Man to its stable of awful cartoon series in 1982, and according to legend the number of advertisers dying to hock their wares during the premiere necessitated commercial breaks that were twice as long. A single Christmas episode aired during primetime that winter and continues to be shown on Cartoon Network’s Boomerang network every year, even though the show ceased production in 1984.

BREAKDOWN:
Hope you weren’t looking for Christmas Comes to Pac-Land to stray from the Hanna-Barbera formula of weakly animated, asinine storytelling with a lethal dose of catchphrase-spewing stupidity.  Even the Christmas Spirit has its limits.

Those responsible

In case you don’t know, what separates PacLand from our world is its spherical (well, rounded) appearance and an inability to celebrate Christmas.  So Pac-Man, Pepper Pac, and Baby-Pac open the special by minding their own business outside in the snow.

Pac-Man and the fam, rapt in heathen Holiday delights

But there’s definitely something in the air… Not only do we see no sign of the series’ villain, Mezmaron, but even the Ghosts Gang doesn’t seem all that concerned with Power Pellets, the accumulation of which had been one of the series’ primary themes.

In a simpler time, characters fought with their faces

It’s the time of year for B-grade motivation, and if you’re unfamiliar with the only thing Pac-Man can really do, that would be…chomping. Yes, biting each other.  But whereas Pac-Man and his wife “Pepper” bite back only in self-defense (and with the necessary aid of Power Pellets), ghosts Clyde, Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Sue seem hellbent merely on sinking their teeth into something.

Power Pellets are in such short abundance, they’re stored in unlocked roadside boxes and grow on trees.

Once the Pac-Family swallows the pill-like Pellets, they’re momentarily endowed with super powers and can fend off their supernatural attackers.

Wakkawakkawakka

And the Bitees become the Bitten.

Purple is the new blue

Nevermind that nothing really happens after getting chomped…

One of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen

No sustenance is gained, and the figures eventually go back to normal. Pac-Man just falls down and looks dizzy, but the ghosts lost their clothing and must brave the chilly Pac-night to get home for a wardrobe change…

CANON!

Unfortunately, though, their wayward amphibious eyes just so happen to startle Santa’s reindeer this time!

Oh no!

Santa has fallen to earth (er, PacLand) all because of a literally translated plot device!

A warm Christmas image

Santa’s in bad shape, so Mr. Man and the family haul the fat man and his reindeer back to their house for a little TLC.

The precursor to the interrogation scene in Basic Instinct

Santa informs Pac-Man that if he can’t find his sack of ancient toys,  Christmas is fucked beyond all repair.

Even while inside what is basically a video game, Santa is committed to bringing children toys from 1945

There’s no way Pac-Man’s going to disappoint every boy and girl out there on this cultural occasion. And he’d never even seen a human until a few minutes ago, so that’s pretty damned heroic! Or just fantastic writing.

After a brief interlude that sees the ghosts changing into new outfits and going all self-referential…

I know I’m supposed to be taking the piss out of this thing, but this brief aside to the original Pac-Man design was years ahead of its time

…Pac-Man ventures out into the Pac-Wilderness with his trusty pup, Chomp-Chomp (are you noticing a theme yet?!), to find Claus’ misplaced sack.

Pac-Man’s never heard of Christmas, but Nature clearly has

Unfortunately, it’s the ghosts who find it first.

The ghosts develop a rare third interest

In another act of valiant scripting, Pac-Man concocts a plot to dig a tunnel under the snow and grab the bag out from under the preoccupied ghosts.

The reality is that this is one of two actions Hanna-Barbera could animate in less than an hour

And of course, when you’re scripting action based solely in the economic interest of drawing the bare minimum of movement, it doesn’t work:

Durrrrrrr

Chomp-Chomp hides with the bag that’s carrying an entire planet’s worth of gifts, while Pac-Man runs away from the bite-mad ghosts.

I was going to make fun of this until I realized it’s actually extremely authentic to the game

Sadly, he trips and falls, allowing the Ghosts to catch up to him!

The stuff of 1980′s nightmares

Pac is surely a dead man…or perhaps this is a Saturday Morning Cartoon-based special not brazen enough to depict a violent group-gnashing? Yeah, it’s the latter.

One life left

Turns out being attacked by the Ghosts Gang – the lone threat to Pac during the entire series – results in nothing more than a light daze. Nevertheless, Pac-man has failed.  But in the Hanna-Barbera style of moving things along, this somehow resolves the conflict completely and he succeeds anyway.

A little cocoa soothes even the most savage plot hole

With the toy sack secured and the sleigh fixed, it looks like Christmas is fully on the mend. Suddenly, however, we’re then informed that Santa’s reindeer are too sick to fly. Somehow these majestic beasts, who hail from the North Pole and travel the entire world – a good portion of which is experiencing some form of winter – in a single night, have caught cold after crashing in snowy Pac-Land.

Christ, is this thing being animated LIVE?!

Pac-Man leaps into his mid-sized sedan and tugs Santa to a place sure to reinvigorate the reindeer.

Incidentally, Pac-Man’s car sounds exactly like The Jetson‘s

But – wouldn’t you know it – the ghosts are still on the prowl. On the prowl for what? To get Pac-Man, I guess! Sure, they already seemed to have gotten what they wanted, having bitten the guy just moments ago, but this is the motiveless give-and-take standard synonymous with thinly veiled 80’s cartoon shows meant to sell more than commercials.

Kill me later, please?

Now here’s a weird one. The barely articulate “Packy” (as his wife refers to him, with no thought to how offensive that term is to Pakistani people) manages to convince the ghosts to give him and Santa a pass on their pending shenanigans in the interest of preserving the timeliness of a Holiday they’ve never heard of.

Pac-Diplomacy in action

Thus our action starved heroes move along to an orchard where the entire cartoon series’ central object of struggle literally grows on trees?

A foot-high fence ensures that no flying ghosts gain entry

The reindeer feast on the anabolic Deus ex Machina…

No need to test its effects on earth mammals – EAT!

…until the radioactive glow of Holiday performance enhancement lets Santa know that the Power Pellets have indeed kicked in.

“Dude, you look so Pac-ed up right now!”

Mission accomplished, Kringle gets the hell out of dodge at Mach 10, and the gang returns home.

“Goodbye! Side effects may include erectile dysfunction, bone deterioration and loss of the will to live!”

But somebody’s left a surprise that neither the events of the “plot” nor Santa’s trans-dimensional break-out can account for…that must mean Christmas!

A Christmas Tree with all the trimminz

And even after the ghosts have a second change of heart and barge into Pac’s house looking for a fight, we find that Santa didn’t forget about them either.

No, seriously. You shouldn’t have.

Zilch. Two intertwined dimensions was probably one too many. There’s no way the Pac-Man writers were going to leave autopilot long enough to shoehorn Christ into this story.

Plenty. The big guy’s a central character, so why the middling score? If his innate power to shower the world in gifts during a single night can’t get him out of Pac-Land – Fine. If he doesn’t want to lift a finger to help ward off a roving gang of savage ghosts – I can accept that, too. But something about seeing Santa’s calves is all kinds of wrong, thus it’s docked two cookies

Dude, you’re scaring the children…even more than usual!

At the expense of the series’ (debatably) established premise, Christmas Comes to PacLand enjoys a heaping dollop of obligatory Christmas feelin’…which is exponentially stupider than usual and that’s saying a lot. I can only recommend the thing to lifelong gamers like myself, who somehow get a kick out of seeing the medium done a profound disservice.

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Neither Pac-Man, the cartoon series, nor Christmas Comes to Pac-Land are available on DVD. There are plenty of episodes available on YouTube, some even in an official capacity, but I wouldn’t recommend them. Pac-Man’s magic lies solely within the games he sprang from, and I wanted to link folks to numerous means of getting a fix because I absolutely love the original game, and hey, I write about video games for a living. This will always be my idea of A Pac-Man Christmas:

Pac-Man Collection for the GameBoy Advance contains only the finest Pac-Man games still worth playing, at a super-low price. The GBA game still works on the Nintendo DS and Nintendo DS Lite, although NOT the Nintendo DSi. Pac-Man Championship Edition is the most worthy update to the original Pac-Man EVER! Fast, fun, and optimized for High-Def, widescreen televisions. And the table top arcade unit we all remember from many a pizza parlor growing up? Super-expensive, but awesome nonetheless. I know I’ve always wanted one, and up until now I had no idea Namco was legitimately selling new ones to the public.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
THE GREAT SANTA CAPER

THE GREAT SANTA CAPER
Original Air Date: November 30, 1978

SYNOPSIS:
A highly derivative villain named Alexander Graham Wolf careens into the North Pole with a nefarious, capitalistic plan to monetize Christmas. Luckily, Comet the Reindeer catches wind of the plot and must employ the world’s only two heroes capable of putting a stop to it: Raggedy Anne and Andy?

BACKSTORY:
Look, I hate to knock such a beloved character just because I hail from a generation who only experienced the waning days of her 100 year popularity… but I’ve always thought Raggedy Ann was a creepy ghoul of a doll, and never understood her appeal.

Today, Raggedy Ann has been all but forgotten by just about everyone except shamelessly sexy Halloween costume manufacturers

If I sound too harsh, understand it’s only because I’ve never been able to bring it up until this very moment, since no one I’ve ever known has ever brought this 20th century relic up in conversation.

There isn’t a human alive left to tell you this, but Raggedy Ann is based on a popular book series started in 1918 by Johnny Gruelle

Still, we all caught glimpses of Raggedy Ann here and there while growing up. Unfortunately, I happen to associate her most as the centerpiece my Grandmother’s eerily immaculate retirement tomb. And although it’s hardly Raggedy Ann’s her fault that this thought also conjures the smell of urine, Fresca and death, but hey, it’s a packaged deal. But it’s not like we crossed paths enough for me to build any revulsion towards the lady.

Unlike more deserving characters Raggedy Ann and and have starred in both TV shows and film

After all, Raggedy Anne and her insipid TV show ran up against mind-blowing stuff like Muppet Babies, Ninja Turtles and The Smurfs in the fall of 1988, so we both could’ve gone the rest of our lives without running afoul of one another… That is, until I watched her abysmal special on a whim, The Great Santa Caper, and realized she went and dragged Chuck Jones into her irrelevant spiral! That I don’t forgive!

Say it ain’t so, Chuck…

Chuck Jones, the lauded animator who brought us cell and paint H-bombs like the Road Runner, Michigan J. Frog, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi and the phrase “Rabbit Season, Duck Season,” now has this frontier-era Barbie doll tarnishing his legacy.

Although, perhaps Rags isn’t entirely to blame… Jones did write this forgettable piece of Yule tide nonsense. I mean, to his credit How the Grinch Stole Christmas has remained a benchmark of animated Christmas specials, but to his discredit, this pathetic offering made 12 years later bears more than a passing resemblance to some his previous work.

Even if The Grinch and Alexander Graham Wolf don’t shop at the same sleigh dealership, they share a motive. Plus, he more than resembles a certain coyote

Or a sun bleached “Ralph Wolf” if you wanna be a dick about:

Alexander and Ralph share the same accent, nose color, and resemblance to Wile E. Coyote

Chalk this up to Jones being an old man well beyond his prime, but I’m thinking it has more to do with the utterly useless source material. The main problem with Raggedy Anne is that she never really does anything. I mean, what can she do, really?

Comet overhears Wolf’s monologue and rushes off to get help

Being the hottest holiday item during “A Very Turn of the Century Frontier Christmas” hardly qualifies her to roundhouse kick, call in an army of robots or crush the souls of her enemies with irrefutable logic puzzles. At best, she’s merely cute.

If you’re this terrified of reindeer, perhaps you’re not qualified to save Christmas?

So why exactly does Comet the Reindeer rush off to employ the services of Raggedy Anne and Andy to overthrow the plot of Alex G. Wolf? Purely on the basis – and these are her words (yes, Comet’s female, deal with it) – of needing someone who is “very light and can’t freeze.” Seriously? Mr. Maggo’s pretty short? Mighty Mouse is ridiculously strong AND protected by a layer of mammalian fur?

Lightweight heroes

If Comet had to bring in the grunts purely on the basis of what she alone  – a weightless reindeer! – can carry, I’d have to say Chilli Willy would’ve been way easier on the arches, and packs in up to x40 the cute factor. But since Raggedy Anne is the one writing the checks, she’s all Jones’s got to work with. (Unless you count Raggedy Arthur, a speechless hellhound, who astoundingly proves to be even more inconsequential than his owners.)

Santa appears briefly, but then goes to bed thinking everything is A’okay

My biggest problem with any Raggedy Ann adventure is that she rarely raises a finger to solve problems. The only ability she seems to posess is a knack for encountering people and things who can. Here’s Wolf’s plan: Shroud Christmas items in plexiglass in order to charge children for mint condition versions of the toys Santa delivers for FREE!

The capitalistic nerve?!

So once Raggedy Anne and Andy arrive at Santa’s toyshop, HOW do they go about foiling Mr. Wolf’s plot to permanently encase all toys in his proprietary cellophane shell, Gloopstick? They don’t…

Way to not go… clever girl

In one of biggest cop-outs since the “Thank Goodness it was only a dream!” ending, Raggedy Anne and Andy take a corrosive piss on the fourth wall, turn to the camera and demand, YOU, the television viewer, shout “LOVE” at the screen. For real?

Seriously

Thank God video games would come along and provide legitimate interactive entertainment

Presents are unlocked and Mr. Wolf learns he prefers loved to being hated, all before Santa could wake up and appear in his own “Caper.”

So much for the sequel

Meanwhile, the audience, whether they chose to yell at their screen like it was a Packers game or not, has grown either 80% dumber or irate at an adventure that barely started, middled or ended.

Bleh

None. Unless you’re a conspiratorial grad student who hasn’t watched enough television to better to intertwine “Christmas” and “Love” to Christ’s condemnation of material gain.

Minimal. He appears early on during Christmas Eve preparations, then more notably, sleeping with his reindeer… instead of Mrs. Claus?!

Oh, the implications!

One ball is awarded solely because I interpret the “Meaning of Christmas” as an excuse to let Chuck Jones work again. There’s a reason this thing isn’t available on DVD.

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Bittersweetly, The Great Santa Caper starring Raggedy Ann and Any is not available on DVD. While I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s still a shame for people who loved it to be without the option. However, you can pick up numerous DVDs that contain 3 or so episodes from the Saturday Morning TV series, and the dolls themselves are still for sale damn near everywhere.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
THE CHRISTMAS TOY

THE SNOWMAN
Original Airdate: December 24, 1982

SYNOPSIS:
James is a young boy left largely alone in his countryside home during a a winter of epic snowfall. One day he builds a snowman for companionship, and as luck would have it, the thing comes to life! The two engage in lighthearted mischief until the sentient creature of compacted condensation eventually flies the boy to the North Pole for a party he’ll never forget.

BACKSTORY:
The Snowman is one of the few Christmas specials created in my lifetime that still gets significant play damn near every year here in the states. But more impressively, it has never abandoned its Christmas Eve time slot on the UK’s Channel 4 since it first aired back in 1982.

The air? They’re walking on it

Even when viewed from an animation landscape dominated by computers, the hand-drawn care and craft put into this Holiday favorite is evident right from the introductory zoom, which seamlessly take us across miles of snowy countryside and into the bedroom of our star – excuse me, co-star.

Go back to bed, second fiddle!

One of the ways in which The Snowman distinguishes itself is by being one of the only Christmas specials I can remember that contains no dialogue, so as to remain faithful the wordless 1978 book by Raymond Briggs.

Instead, this story unfolds through lavishly animated sequences directed by Dianne Jackson (credited with The Beatles’ character design in Yellow Submarine) and an immensely evocative score, composed by Howard Blake, that pleasantly punctuates the squiggly, crayon fluidity occurring onscreen.

The original book cover and a popular figurine produced in 1985

Though it isn’t altogether “wordless,” mind you, and that’s where history has buried The Snowman’s goofiest trivia tidbit! The Snowman originally aired with an uber-brief, live-action intro featuring author Raymond Briggs himself, who sets the stage before the scene dissolves into animation:

“I remember that winter because it brought the heaviest snows I’ve ever seen. Snow had fallen steadily all night long. And in the morning, I awoke in a room filled with light and silence. The whole world seemed to be held in a dreamlike stillness. It was a magical day. And it was on that day I made The Snowman.” – Every line of spoken dialogue!

Short, personal, and close to perfect. However, following several initial Briggs-introduced airings of The Snowman in the US, a few years later Americans were greeted by an all new introduction from none other than Ziggy Stardust himself: David Bowie?!

Odd choice… but it’s still BOOOOWIE! Click here to view the entire sequence.

On The Snowman’s 20th anniversary in 2002, UK viewers received another updated introduction from British comedian Mel Smith, which I assume was done to accommodate wide screen televisions. Still, it seems a little unnecessary…if for no other reason than that there’s really no point in updating the timeless. People tune in to see something familiar, something traditional. You’ve already managed to strike a chord with viewers year after year, so what’s the point?! NEEEERD RAAAAGE!!!

Sort of like a Calvin and Hobbes who don’t question authority

BREAKDOWN:
With no catch phrases, licensed music, or celebrity appearances you could say that The Snowman is nearly impossible to date. It’s a stone-simple tale of a boy and his imaginary friend that should have no trouble appealing to television viewers of all ages, especially when wrapped in the shell of the Christmas season. Besides, you’d think if they were going to adapt anything to modern times, it’d be the scene where James and Snowy steal a motorcycle!

Note: DO NOT CUT THIS!

Barring a little Grand Theft Auto (they returned it!), the boys spend the bulk of the 26 minute special engaging in childish hijinks, until Snowman experiences a bit of homesickness while playing unattended in an unlocked freezer (again, no edit please!). And that’s when things get batshit beautiful:

The Snowman takes young James by the hand and they zip over mountain tops, oceans, and several other landmarks I’d presumably recognize if I’d ever been to England.

It’s truly a gorgeous sequence thanks to the breathtaking floating camera effects generally not associated with televised animation of the day, and the hauntingly sweet song that accompanies the flight, entitled “Walking in the Air.” I could try and describe it with more incoherent babble, but you wouldn’t you rather just watch it?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spFJEIjBwFs]

Each and every scene of the pencil-etched serenade is astounding to behold, but this especially is one of those TV moments that never fails to give me goosebumps year after year.

The fact that none of the other attendees bothered to bring a human shows we have a ways to go in snowpeople relations

James and the Snowman land at what we can assume to be the North Pole, with a gaggle (I can say that because they flew in formation) of other snowmen in tow, just in time for the Christmas party to end all Christmas parties!

These snowmen ’bout to set it off!

And if reanimated clumps of weather drunk off their asses weren’t enough to delight the kid in all of us, James gets to meet the one and only Santa Claus…

You’ve all fantasized about it!

…who then chauffeurs James around the arctic shindig of hard partying snowmen as the guest of honor! And if that weren’t enough to send the 10-year-old inside you into a jealous rage, Mr. Claus even introduces him to a couple of reindeer before giving him his Christmas gift early!

TRIVIA: The name tag on that present is how we know the boy’s name

Oh, a scarf… The very same one you saw Mr. Bowie wearing above. But if you think flying all that way to the North Pole in your pajamas for inexpensive winter wear is a bit of a letdown… well, then you probably also forgot The Snowman’s ending.

mommy…

I was too lenient on Christ yesterday so 0 out of 5 Crosses! (He’ll get over it.) Whatever your belief in the man, can’t we all agree that until the savior adopts a better wardrobe, he is utterly ill-equipped to survive in an Arctic climate?

Big Time Amazing! It’s quite humanizing to see the big guy cutting loose the day before a horrendous shift. Plus, his first appearance makes for one helluva climax!

“WHAT UP!”

Wow! Our first 5-Baller! Though I doubt many of you will dispute me. If you’re my age, you’ve probably seen it a hundred times. If not, you can probably remember Nickelodeon running short infomercials for The Snowman on VHS year round. That shouldn’t really qualify it as more spirited, but for the purposes of this blog, it sorta does…

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The Snowman is available on DVD with the David Bowie intro listed as  a special feature, although many people have complained that the disc does not in fact include it. I can’t imagine that should hamper your enjoyment, but you’re free to continue looking since there are about a thousand different versions available. The book is a fine expensive choice, and I never knew that plushie existed so I bought it immediately.

Yesterday’s Christmas Special
MISTER MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL

MISTER MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL
Original Air Date: December 18, 1962

SHORT SYNOPSIS:
Everybody’s favorite sightless moron finds Christ-like redemption after a visitation from three ghosts in TV’s inaugural animated Holiday special that could be best described as downright Dickensian!

BACKSTORY:
What better way to kick off the Animated Christmas Advent Calendar than with the first ever made-for-television animated Christmas Special?! Well, okay… admittedly, I could count about a billion specials I’d rather watch, write and read about, but you gotta pay Mr. Magoo his due. Television studios were unsure of the viability of TV animation, and I sort of admire the balls of using a cartoon character, who was basically one big blind joke, as a Christmas-themed testing ground for the entire medium of TV animation.

Which role will Jim Backus be more fondly remembered for: Thurston Howell III from Gilligan’s Island or the voice of Mr. Magoo? The answer, when the last baby boomer dies

What Mister’s Magoo Christmas Carol lacks in quality animation, political correctness and consumptive longevity, it made up for in sheer timeliness! Its success paved the way for Rankin/Bass’s Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer two years later, and A Charlie Brown Christmas three years later. So yeah, if you care at all for Christmas specials, or any televised animation, from The Flintstones to Family Guy, have a little respect for Magoo, will ya?

BREAKDOWN:
Like most adaptations of A Christmas Carol, United Paramount Animation had to figure out a way to cast its altogether likeable character in the role of Christmas’s biggest asshole. Whereas adaptations like Bugs Bunny’s Christmas Carol found an easy fit, with Yosemite Sam in the shoes of Scrooge, take a look at what other ensemble franchises resorted to in order to avoid the decision entirely.

With nary a villainous Muppet in the bunch, A Muppet Christmas Carol had to call in the services of Sir Michael Caine to play the notorious curmudgeon. And Disney had to drag Scrooge McDuck out of the comic pages and onto the screen for an unprecedented starring role (he’d only previously appeared in a single animated cartoon) even though 1983′s Mickey’s Christmas Carol was more notably the titular Mouse’s first appearance in a theatrical short in three decades!

So how did United Paramount Animation go about turning an otherwise likable, doddering old fart with poor vision into literature’s most notorious dick? By presenting A Christmas Carol as a play within the special.

Oh Mr. Magoo, you’re so handicapped!

Mr. Magoo crashes his car on Broadway, barely finds the theater, puts on his costume, and following a few comical acts at the expense of the visually impaired, he’s finally ushered on to stage to star in the part of Ebenezer Scrooge for the duration of the special.

It’s a good thing too, ‘cause Magoo’s Scrooge says some pretty horrible shit

A novel idea, to say the least, although its legacy has ironically taken a dump on itself: To incorporate more commercials for airings within the last decade, the opening sequence has been cut entirely!

Also out of character: Gerald McBoing-Boing in a rare speaking role!

Anyway, Magoo, I mean, Scrooge is visited by three ghosts… Actually, it all unfolds pretty typically… Seriously, need I bore you with the details of just how Christmas Carolly Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol is?

The Ghost of Christmas Present – CHECK

The Ghost of Christmas Past – CHECK

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come – CHECK

Visits own grave – CHECK

Well wishes from window – CHECK

True meaning of Christmas – SOLVED!

Some liberties are taken with Chuck Dickens’ source material, but it’s only some light streamlining that should only provoke the ire of pompous jerks who prefer their Christmas Specials hardbound and 200 years old.

This gay group is singing about robbing the graze of Mr. Magoo – TRA-LA-LA!

I never found the songs all that memorable, but you’ve got some pretty quaint low-fi musical numbers here, a highlight being the closing number where Jim Backus lays out his vocal ineptitude in such a hilariously, cringe worthy manner, it’s almost admirable for its honesty alone. (Plus Mr. Show nerds will finally know what the “Razzleberry Waterfall” is reference to!)

Oh, and looky there! The entire cast comes out to take a bow. The perfect bookend to the play-within-a-show, meta-presentation? Possibly. But I’m pretty sure it’s due to the writers going through a severe bout of comedic withdrawal, having not made a blind joke for 45 minutes.

You can go home now

None, but any tale generosity on or around JC’s B -day is worth a single cross, right? Actually, if I say that it’s because Charles Dickens novel is so old it was written before the birth of Christ, I bet there’s a handful of people who will take my word for it. So, let’s justify it that way… OH! But the special does contain a mosaic shot of a Tree Star that I consider to be nothing short of DIVINE:

WOW!

Zero. Which, if not out of courtesy for the source material, would be otherwise unacceptable.

I guess. It’s almost unfair, since even the worst version of A Christmas Carol somehow perfectly embodies the season… But I refuse to give it a “5 out of 5 Ball” pass, so as not to encourage lazy network suits devoid of ideas into making further adaptations. Enough with the Dickens, K?

PRODUCT INFORMATION (Support the site!)

Amazon offers a standalone edition of Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol and in The Original Christmas Classics Boxed Set, which also features Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, and several more. Both present the special uncut, and are dirt cheap. If you’d like to read a more in-depth history on the creation of the historic special, Oxford Press has recently published a 128 page, hardcover book entitled, Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, the Making of the First Animated Christmas Special.

Dude… Christmas rules amirite?! But as we “The Children of the 80’s,” grow older, crap like work deadlines, the price of airfare, and gift-giving budgetary restraints do their damndest to damper our Holiday Spirit year in and year out. Let ‘em try! I’ve got a backlog of DVDs with enough Xmas Mojo to keep even the most terminal case of Yule Tide Blues at bay.

I too was once frustrated and bored by the Holiday season, increasingly cynical of the “commercialism of it all” and all that jazz. But the reason Christmas is marketed in such a way is because, quite simply, it works! No other cultural event conjures such a specific mood, music, and feeling anywhere close to that of the majority of December, regardless of how much Hallmark and Best Buy would like to manufacture one. Just because I can’t get behind the current Target Superstore, Hanna Montana version of “The Christmas Spirit” doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have one at all, right? Hell, I’m entitled to one… we all are.

Home Video to the rescue! I’ve managed to find tremendous solace within Christmas Specials I grew up with as a kid. Charlie Brown, Mickey Mouse, and Kermit the Frog still have the power to rip me out of my day to day drudgery and place me smack dab into a place and time where I truly felt the Christmas season was magical and meant something. Clichéd though it may sound, once I throw on one of these Christmas Specials, my brain is whipped to a place and time where I smell firewood, enjoy bad music, and experience a childlike anticipation for gifts I know I’ll never receive.

Unfortunately, most of the specials near and dear to me no longer air on television with the frequency they used to, if at all. Sad, but who knows? Maybe that’s why I like ‘em. Either way, I figured there’d also be a sizable chunk of people out there in Internet land that would, too.

As an animation nerd, nothing warms my guts more than a traditional Holiday favorite. However, I also derive sensational amount of pleasure from getting re-exposed to the good ones I forgot existed, and yes, the bad ones we all wish didn’t. I’ve done my damnedest to track down personal favorites, and personal punching bags, through the various means provided to me by 21st century existence, and I’m trying to lay out one a day for public recollection from now until Christmas Day.

An Animated Advent Calendar for all to enjoy!

Wish me luck,
C.Ant

PS: I encourage anybody to suggest any particular Christmas specials you’d care to see covered here. I’ve also provided Amazon.com links to any specials available on DVD. PLEASE CLICK! Buying through us won’t cost you a dime, but will contribute a small portion of your purchase to the site in order to keep it going!