Cars 2: Congratulations on your first turd, Pixar

Or so say the critics anyway, such as the above quote form Slant Magazine’s Jamie N. Christley, who’ve have been none too kind to Pixar’s latest sequel.

But what do critics know?! According to the Wall Street Journal, Cars 2 is already a hit based on its merchandising alone, having consistently generated around TWO BILLION DOLLARS worth of revenue every year without the help of a sequel. I can attest to this, since I’ve visited my local Disney Store.

Takes up as much space as 70 years worth of fairy/princess merch

But what I never thought I’d live to see is a day when critics band together to universally pan a Pixar movie. Now, I’m no fan of the original Cars, but I can accept that: It’s not for me – no biggie. Besides, even as “the worst Pixar film” it’s better than all the Shreks, Madagascars, and Ice Ages combined.

– Mary Pols, Time

But one thing I certainly never wanted to see, was the day the studio made an undeniably “bad” movie…

– Nathan Rabin, Onion AV Club

They’ve had a great streak for the last 25 years, but now they seem content to coast from sequel to sequel, and basically the last thing I ever wanted to see from one of my favorite animation companies appears to have happened with Cars 2.

– Jeremy Kirk, FirstShowing.net

After all, nobody wanted to see a bad Pixar movie right? Now that’s happened, and yeah, I’m filled with geeky rage, which I hope explains why I’ve placed some of the more damning quotes from bad reviews next to the smiling faces of characters I currently dislike more than ever.

A O Scott, New York Times

…and now I feel horrible. Must make a redemptive post… back in a few

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